Saturday, January 17th and 18th, my husband and I took a brief but great weekend excursion to Hua Hin, Thailand. This small resort town is on the beach, close to four hours by 3rd class train, south of Bangkok. After a long, somewhat painful ride on the 3rd class train, we arrived into town. We walked from the Hua Hin train station through the middle of town and found ourselves a nice hotel on the beach to stay at over night. The website can be viewed at: http://www.thailandhotels24.com/huahin/laksasubha.htm#hotel

We spent the evening touring the night markets, and ate a lovely dinner outside on the street. The next morning we woke up and headed to the beach where we ate breakfast, had a nice long and lovely stroll along the beach after eating, returned back to our hotel and napped, showered and then headed to find a rental car. We obtained a car and headed out of town toward the Pulau Waterfalls. This was a beautiful drive!

Along the way we spotted a beautiful Waat visible from a bridge. We stopped to take some photos of the Waat. As we were taking photos, we noticed some young boys in the river, spear fishing. I enjoyed the opportunity to lay on the road and lean my head out of the bridge to take many photos of these cute kids!







Following are wild monkeys that we spotted on the side of the road as we drove to the Pulau Waterfalls outside of Hua Hin.







After visiting the beautiful waterfalls we headed back to Hua Hin to return the rental car and made our way back to Bangkok. It was a nice, refreshing trip over that weekend.

Hua Hin beach



Boat on the beach



Hua Hin Train Station



Looking up the falls...






This last weekend, January 24th and 25th, we spent in Bangkok. My husband played golf all of Saturday with some friends of his and I spent time exploring throughout China Town. Sunday we spent time enjoying the company of one another at home and then went to church in the afternoon. We have a favorite place to eat that we usually head to immediately after church - a little ritual of ours. We went there, ate a delicious dinner and headed back home. Another lovely, low-key weekend.

This weekend we are headed to the river Kwai, in Kanchanaburi, Thailand. We will explore the the Death Railway, hit the JEATH War Museum, visit the war cemetery, and possibly Hellfire pass on Saturday. On Sunday we will sleep at a National Park and climb up another famous waterfall known to be one of the most beautiful waterfalls in all of Thailand, the Erawan Falls. I will look forwards to updating you on the events of this upcoming weekend!

Sitting here, looking out the window of this Starbucks coffee shop window, I see blue, hot pink, yellow, lime green, red and bright orange taxi cabs, all waiting to inch their way up in the traffic line. I see a man in a striped plaid shirt standing somewhat oblivious to all the events going on around him as he rubs the sleepiness out of his eyes with a Monday morning Bangkok Post paper in hand as he waits to order breakfast from one of the many street side vendors that cook anything from fried chicken gizzards to squid on a stick or to drink, a sweetened condensed milk and coffee concoction. A woman with an armful of colorful flowers purchased from the flower vendor across the street comes walking into the coffee shop as she hurriedly purchases her coffee and is on her way out, off to a busy day in just a blink of an eye. The fish distributor sells beta fish, gold fish, tiny neon blue fish, red fish, blue fish, one fish, one hundred fish or more (!) in plastic bags stapled to a ten foot long pole that he carries throughout the streets... These men and woman, as well as American diplomats, Indian business men, Australian tourists, and Burmese beggars all pass me by as I observe the morning bustle of this busy street of Sukhumvit, here in big city of Bangkok.

These last couple of weeks has not been my traditional ‘international’ style of travel. Though - nothing has been ‘traditional’ in my life in the last many months. Wait, in reality, nothing has been ‘traditional’ in the last 28 years of my life…

Maybe nothing except my morning cup of coffee…

Tomorrow marks the first month anniversary of being married to my precious husband. Two weeks ago tomorrow marks the day my husband and I put the very last of everything we own into storage for at minimum, the next six months. Tomorrow, it will be two weeks ago that I experienced the thrill of knowing that in less then 18 hours I would feel the sensation on my own skin of at least an over 100 degree weather temperature shift… going from the frigid frozen -12 degree F weather of Anchorage, Alaska to the 80 – 90 degree F temperatures of SE Asia. Oh yes, the thought alone was invigorating. But to be here now, in Thailand, sitting in my capri work-out pants and tank top, hair pulled back in a pony-tail with sunglasses resting on my head as I finish my morning coffee and prepare to go for a run through the city park – through the warm early morning 77 degree F air, I am more then invigorated, I am renewed. Rebekah plus warmth equal aliveness, rejuvenation, an inspired soul… It is really lovely to have metamorphed as a result of thawing out since being here.

We arrived into SE Asia via Anchorage to Taiwan and Taiwan to Bangkok. The flight was uneventful overall, despite being four hours late out of Anchorage to Taiwan. This did not affect us as we had a long layover in Taiwan before proceeding to Bangkok. We arrived in Taiwan to eat a bowl of soup before proceeding on through immigration in order to get out and about and experience the culture of Taiwan during our 7-hour layover. After receiving stamps on our passport we grabbed a local city bus and toured throughout the city of Taipei. This was a quick and general re-introduction to Asian life.
We arrived back to the airport in time to catch our flight to Bangkok. Things went smoothly upon our arrival as we got a cab from the airport, checked into our hotel, freshened up a bit and headed out to walk the streets of Sukhumvit – downtown area of Bangkok. We spent a few hours walking, embracing the scents, sights, sounds…

Our first few days in Bangkok were spent exploring and acclimating to the time, weather, each other etc. Monday morning, was my husbands first day of work and beginning Tuesday night, I was on my own for four days, as he has to be away for work related events.

As I mentioned above, this is a very unique trip already for me, as rarely have I ever traveled internationally and spent time in or have I lived in the large metropolitan city, living with modern conveniences including running water, air conditioning, heck, even internet in my very own home! A more typical travel scene for me consists of travel to under-developed, war –torn, and third world countries, living in IDP camps, huts, low budget hotels or orphanages; this is indeed a role shift. As I am used to working in rehabilitation centers, with the homeless and orphans or working on behalf of an ngo writing up a grant etc. this trip in all in all very different. I am here to support my husband, experience Thai life, explore as time allows/I desire and eventually begin volunteering with an ngo part-time. In two weeks I begin going back to school for a masters degree in Professional Counseling/Psychology through a well known/respected University via distance (online) learning. This works well for me as I will do my school work throughout the day while my husband is at work, but still allows me time to volunteer part-time, embrace Thailand and travel on the weekends.

I am really excited about starting school again, especially to be moving forward in the direction I have always imagined that I would – in the area of counseling/psychology/spiritual renewal. It has been nice not doing school work since August 2008 when I graduated from Alaska Pacific University, but I am ready to proceed on in my education now.

On Saturday, we went to a weekend market where nearly anything you could imagine from small exotic turtles to fancy wooden hand carved photo frames to petunia plants were available to buy. Following the market we headed to another market called the Kings Market where primarily fruit and seafood is sold. Here you are offered samples of nearly anything you want, and have the chance to buy all of it! We bought some extra large shrimps and ate them all right on the spot. I had quite an appetite at this point in the day and had no problem devouring the shrimp, fresh pineapple, and freshly squeezed carrot/passionfruit juice dinner with dried papaya for desert.





Following this meal we took the underground railway to the train station where we obtained a schedule for the north, south and east bound trains as we are planning our upcoming weekends. So far they include the islands in Thailand to the south of us with a hop and skip over to Cambodia, a trip to Chang Mai to visit with an old time college friend from nearly 10 years ago who lives there with her husband and son. We hope to cross the border into Laos from here. Nothing is concrete, but we have a lot of options and ideas. We are certainly desiring of taking up on every opportunity.

Sunday was spent resting in the morning, enjoying a yummy breakfast together and heading off for church. We enjoyed our time at church, re-connecting with the friends we met the week before as well as meeting new friends this week. As this is an international church service, we have been meeting folks from all around the world, including Asia, Europe, Africa and South America as well as America.

We have established a tradition of eating out at our favored restaurant where we get the best most scrumptious Som Tam which is Thai Green Papaya Salad. This is our favorite traditional Thai dish… ok, we LOVE them all! (As long as they are lenient with the hot chili’s)! In addition to the Som Tam we enjoy eating the fried Asparagus with garlic and Shrimp and the Green Chicken Curry with Rice.



Green Papaya Salad, Fried Asparagus with Garlic and Shrimp, Green Chicken Curry



Not much left... !

IDP camp in Northern Uganda

updates!

Friday September 12, 2008

There are days that writing comes easy, natural and time is readily available for elaborating on the events of the day etc. Then there are weeks when if time is actually available to write out my thoughts and feelings etc., it is filled with bouts of exhaustion causing dry eyes and deep sleepiness or simply put, the attack of the killer malaria infested mosquito’s is so great that writing away on my computer would be, for lack of better terms – a sure death warrant. Most times, I allow both of those, exhaustion, dry eyes and sleepiness as well as the attack of the killer mosquito’s to hinder my writing process, however this early 4:17 Saturday morning, I do not have many other options unless I relish in my own misery in bed with the deep and inevitable irritation of scratching and slapping away those pesty little insects with thickened forewings and mouthparts adapted for piercing and sucking the blood of nonetheless, Rebekah herself. Tonight, I am like a honeysuckle for the honeybees – the mosquito’s have attacked me so intensely that I feel that I have been traumatized and no longer capable of shutting my eyes while laying prone in bed this morning. The absolutely worst part of this experience is not even the pain inflicted through the puncturing of the stinger through my skin and the itchy red welts that result, but the awful, no – horrifying ear -piercing buzz of the mosquito’s as they buzz their way directly past your ear in a parade like fashion. This sounds similar to that of military planes whizzing overhead, but with a high screech resembling nails on a chalkboard and rockets being launched… I decided after the last four and half hours of this fitful existence – it was time to get up.

So here I write, with the fan on high aimed directly at me – in the event that any mosquito’s in this room has any unsuitable ideas that are not in accordance with my sense of fairness or justice.

I am in Kampala, Uganda this morning. I arrived here a couple of days ago. Richard – the logistics director for ChildVoice International, and Natalie, an Intern with ChildVoice International and myself all drove on the PostBus from Gulu to Kampala last Thursday. Richard came down for his every two-week visit to see his wife and three children for the weekend, and Natalie came down to visit her good friends, Ernest, Dale and Simon-Peter. Ernest had 29th birthday on Thursday night, and this was a major reason for her visit. I received the opportunity to accompany her to Ernest’s birthday party – this was a very nice, low-key evening. I came to Kampala as I had a follow up meeting with the Rotary club of Kampala, with Simon once again, as well as three other special projects committee members of the Korro – Kampala Rotary Club. This was my second meeting with this club and it went well, I will explain in more details later.

Dale and Ernest are vibrant young gentlemen who own a driving/tour company called ‘Be a Blessing’ and act as the drivers for the ChildVoice teams when they need to hire vans for pick up/drop off from airport as well as when they need hired drivers throughout their stay wherever they are in Uganda. Natalie met these guys as she has been on three trips to Uganda now and has had them as her driver each trip. These two guys have me laughing hysterically each time that I am with them – they are very generous, self-less and compassionate servants who are beautiful examples of the love of Jesus to anyone who crosses their paths. Dale and Ernest made reservations for Natalie and I at the Baptist Mission. This is a nice gated compound containing offices of the Baptist Mission as well as a couple of guest-houses for those associated with this Baptist Mission or other missionaries throughout the country. The birthday party for Dale was held as a missionary (through the Baptist Mission) couple’s house who have two incredibly intelligent young children (ages 7 and 9). Ironically their youngest daughter (7 year old) is also very hard of hearing and wears a hearing aid in one ear and is deaf in the other. We connected well as she noticed the aid I was wearing. I very much enjoyed the connections I made that Thursday evening and continue to experience as I meet many other new friends throughout my stay in Kampala.

Since I wrote last on this blog, I managed to finish up with the symptoms of malaria, get back to work in the office on the grant that Natalie and I have been working together to complete for USAID, move out to the Lukodi Centre (the ChildVoice long-term rehabilitation centre where the women and their children live) and move into a hut and sleep in a hammock.

This first night in the hut and hammock proved quite unsuccessful… Between the crashing of the deeply angry thunder, the lightening bolts flashing and rain drip…drip…dripping onto my head from the leaking thatched roof of my hut and the door continuously swaying open from the wild winds, the hole in my hammock’s mosquito net that I accidentally caused by over stretching my legs, the worm I felt crawling across my belly followed by the black and green caterpillar that I found crawling towards me on the blanket I was sleeping under as I shined my headlamp onto the worm… yes, these and a few other odd evening events kept me alert and without sleep throughout my first evening in this hut home of mine. From that night on, I decided to sleep on the cement floor of the other two interns, Natalie and Kristin’s hut while keeping my possessions in my hut and using this as my base.

Living out in Lukodi with the residents of the ChildVoice Rehabilitation Center – 29 girls and their 36 children was a literal dream come true. Having the chance to see in person the work of the previous couple of years and the fruit that has resulted; the opportunity for formerly abducted child mothers and their children and other vulnerable girls/children have the opportunity to heal from years of trauma in a secure, loving, safe and advanced environment has been my prayer for the last 14 months previous to my return back to Africa. I really truly knew the specifics of what this Center for the healing of traumatized women and children would like, until I arrived back here to see it with my own eyes.

Brittany and I conducted 300 + interviews last year, April through June of 2007, with formerly abducted child mothers and their children. Of those 300 women and children, Brittany and I narrowed the applicant pool down to the 45 most vulnerable women and children before leaving back to America. Of these, twenty-five of the thirty women who are currently in the CVI program are women that we interviewed.

Brittany and I conducted over 300 quantitative interviews in five IDP camps in Gulu District over the summer of 2007. These interviews indicated significant rates of extreme poverty, various types of abuse, child neglect, family conflicts and rejection, and other needs. This interview contained a trauma assessment based on the DSM-IV definition of PTSD and depression. This questionnaire was followed up after we left the country, in the fall of 2007 with home visits to ensure accuracy in self-reports. This also built the foundation for strong relationships between ChildVoice staff and the family and larger community.

Through these interviews and home visits, ChildVoice was able to specifically identify and admit extremely vulnerable individuals, specifically those with physical injuries, child and/or mother malnutrition, illiteracy, high trauma reports, extreme poverty and/or family estrangement.

When I moved out to the Lukodi Center, my attention was irresistibly focused on the changes these women have experienced – both visibly as well as those changes that are not so evident with the naked eye. Through stories that the girls had shared with me concerning the changes in their lives since arriving to the Center, it is so obvious that God is for real – the changes in the lives of these girls are such that only He could could produce. The fact that these girls report improvements such as no longer having nightmares, living without fear of being re-possessed by evil spirits, the fact that many shared they no longer experience hatred towards those people (LRA rebel members, United People Defense Force (UPDF)– Ugandan government etc.) who had forced them into traumatic, inhumane situations, the love that they now for their children with and many other examples revealed to me that indeed, this ChildVoice Rehabilitation Center is making a valuable lasting impact in the lives of the girls and children that will make a substantial difference in the country of Uganda in the years to come.

I enjoyed, as did the girls and their children, taking hundreds of photos of the CVI facilities and the residents themselves. It was absolutely beautiful to observe how healthy they are now. I have many photos of the girls in the program from 14 months ago when I first met many of them. Comparing these photos from over a year ago to what they now look like – is comparing night and day… So healthy, eyes filled with hope, love expressed through their actions toward their children… it is a beautiful transformation.

My time in Gulu is now finished. I have come to Kampala to meet with the Rotary Club of Kampala to see if they would be interested in partnering with CVI and assisting through a matching grant process. After this previous meeting with the special projects committee, we were invited to present CVI to the entire Kampala – Korro club of 60 plus members on the evening of Tuesday September 16th.


Sunday, September 21, 2008

The meeting with the Rotary Club of Kampala went very well, the club members as well as president expressed great interest and will be informing us of their final decision to work with us sometime this week. This is very exciting for CVI as this has been a process to get to this point.

There has been a long lapse in posting for a variety of reasons… my apologies.

I have had many changes in my plans of travels and projects, there have been a number of unforeseen circumstances.

I am now in Addis Ababa, Ethiopia where I have been for the past three days. I completed my time with ChildVoice International after the meeting with Rotary of Kamapala – Korro. I arrived in Addis Ababa on the morning of Friday, September 19th. It is wonderful to be back in Addis Ababa again and I am very much enjoying the opportunity to re-acquaint myself with the culture of Ethiopia, as it is quite a significant contrast from that of Uganda.

I will continue to update this site with further details throughout the days ahead. Thank you again those of you who have continued to encourage and support me through your emails, viewing this blog and posting notes and prayers. I value your support in this process of assisting ChildVoice International and my time in Africa.

October 2, 2008

I have arrived back to America and feel fortunate to be here. Having had a few challenges throughout the process of and upon my return, I continue to be grateful that I serve a God who promises to provide for me my every need and take care of me as I continue to seek Him and His will for my life and act accordingly.

Things are going well throughout my transition back to America. I look forward to providing a more detailed update soon!

Thank you all for your assistance and continued love and support!

Every day, something new!

August 30, 2008
Gulu, Uganda

I make it my aim to go into new situations with the intent of having ‘no expectations’. Knowing that things are never in my control, I know better then to have expectations regarding how I think things will or should go…

I have been in Uganda for a little over two weeks now. On this return trip to Uganda, I must say first off… I miss Acen Brittany. Oh yes, I miss my research/investigator/companion partner, oh so very much! Wherever I go, still, even after two weeks of walking the same street day after day, I hear, ‘Apiypo, Apiyo Rebekah? Hello, you are welcome! Where is Acen? Acen Brittany, where?’

Acen and I received our African names as we were nearly inseparable when we lived here in Gulu together for a couple of months last year, April - June. Apiypo and Acen are names for female twins in the Luo language – Apiyo means the older of the twins and Acen is the younger of the twins. The name stuck – even after having been away for over 14 months – Brittany – they all love you, miss you and send their, ‘greetings’.

I have met many great people since arriving to Gulu, both locals as well as other staff members/interns with CVI.

D’Andrea, whom you have read about in my previous post, is from Alabama and is the Deputy director for CVI. D’Andrea is one of the hardest working, dedicated – faithful, compassionate, loving and practical women I have ever met. I have very much enjoyed connecting with her throughout the short time I have been here.

Lowna, from South Africa is the CVI staff member who oversees the Income Generating Projects for CVI, including teaching both the women in the CVI rehabilitation program as well as women from the village of Lukodi (where the Center is located) how to make homemade paper and then turn them into beautiful cards that will be sold as Christmas cards as a way to generate income for themselves. Lowna is a beautiful 27-year old woman, full of life – energetic, passionate, intelligent and a heckuvalot of fun!

Natalie arrived from America just a little over to weeks ago to work as an intern with CVI. She recently graduated with a Masters degree in Special Education. Natalie will be here until January 2009 working on developing individualized education plans for each woman and their child (ren), amongst many other things… Natalie has an incredible talent for technical writing, and a great analytical ability which is highly assistive in the many projects we are aiming to accomplish.

Kristin arrived from America as well just a little over two weeks ago. She has recently completed her Masters in Nutrition Science. She will be working on a variety of projects with the women both related to her degree as well as working on various projects as needed.
Jen, a 22-year old woman from America came to Uganda to spend a couple of months volunteering with the program, she has since been asked to stay on for an entire year to work as an assistant to D’Andrea. As this has been Jens dream – to live in Africa and work on behalf of a cause such as CVI, it was not even a question for her whether or not to take up on this opportunity.

These five women make up the core group of international volunteer/staff members is ie. ‘muzungu’s’, as we are called by local Ugandans.

My focus throughout the days remains to write up an unsolicited grant for USAID to submit in faith that they will be interested in receiving a complete grant proposal in which they will decide to fund CVI so that the program may be expanded as needed. Unfortunately these last four days I have been down and out with Malaria and have not been able to contribute my time to this cause.

Malaria – simply put, is absolutely miserable. Today I am feeling better after four days – thanks to the medication Coartem that I have been taking. This is my second time with Malaria – I contracted it last year while here in Gulu. I did not expect to be struck with Malaria so soon on this trip to Africa. I have taken my daily doses of Malaria medicine as instructed etc. Nevertheless, the reality, there is no absolute 100 percent preventative for this illness (at least that I am aware of). For now, I remain with a headache that provides a really odd metallic taste in my mouth, achy joints and a head cold – other then that, I am feeling better and ready to get back to work.

Those of you who had followed this blog last year are familiar with the history of the 22 year long civil war that had been fought here in Northern Uganda where over 65,000 children were abducted from their homes, schools, villages etc. and forced to become trained and operate as child soldiers. You are also familiar with the mission of ChildVoice International (CVI) and it’s intent to provide a safe haven for formerly abducted child-mothers and their children to receive spiritual, emotional/mental, physical, educational and vocational rehabilitation. For those of you who are not familiar, please take a moment to read through the article located at:

http://www.wartburg.edu/magazine/summer08/

Here you can read a detailed article written up that provides important background information about the war, as well as learn the story of Conrad Mandsager, founder/director of ChildVoice International – how he came to the decision to begin CVI, what the program currently consists of and where CVI is headed. This is a very informative article and well worth the time in reading.

I have remained in Gulu throughout this last week throughout this time of illness. On Monday I will be heading out to Lukodi (the village – approx. 30 minute drive from Gulu, where the CVI Center is located) to visit the woman as well as introduce to the CVI program, Dr. Robi Sonderegger, president/founder of Family Challenge in Australia. (www.familychallenge.com.au)

Dr. Robi Sonderegger, after assessing the traumatic situation of thousands of formerly abducted child soldiers who managed to escape back to their homes after acting as soldiers in the Lords Resistance Army during a visit to Uganda years ago, knew he must take action on behalf of these children. Dr. Robi was perplexed that there were no professional clinical services offering to help young escapees to deal with the trauma they had experienced. After only a few short weeks of rest in a rehabilitation camp, formerly abducted children are returned to their home villages or IDP camps—where surviving family members have fled. Unfortunately, these children run the risk of being re-abducted. Moreover, holding on to anger, bitterness, nightmares, deep hurt and resentment, post-traumatic stress becomes a real concern for the children, their families and the communities where they may or may not have been reintegrated. Without help to process and deal with their traumatic experiences, there is concern that these children may grow up to participate in the generation of hostility – as a cycle of violence continues.

In 2004 the Family Challenge Charitable Trust decided that it was time to stand up for these former abductees and be a voice for those who cannot speak out for themselves – offering tangible measures to end this cycle and return lost childhood to these children. Dr. Robi Sonderegger, the organizations founder, met with strategic aid agencies in Northern Uganda to discuss ways to provide effective trauma rehabilitation services for formerly abducted child soldiers. Since that time he has provided evidence based child trauma rehabilitation training for counselors, social workers, the center staff of WorldVision, Concerned Parents Association, Childcare International and Rachelle Center for Rehabilitation and Reintegration of formerly bducted children in Northern Uganda, to name a few.

Dr. Robi is currently in Gulu and I had a chance to meet him briefly last night. On Monday I and other CVI staff will have the chance to meet with him to overview his program materials to see if this counseling model may be a good fit for the women in the CVI Center. We will have the opportunity to take him out to Lukodi to view the program and meet the women and their children.

Dr. Robi’s EMPOWER Trauma Rehabilitation is an evidence-based, 13 session step by step program that helps educate and equip young people with practical strategies to combat the effects of trauma associated with war. To date hundreds of facilitators have been trained ultimately serving to benefit many thousand young war victims in Northern Uganda. With 100,000 copies of the program now in print, the objectives of EMPOWER are to rehabilitate as many x-child soldiers and refugees as possible now living in internally displaced person (IDP) camps spread throughout the war zone. Due to increasing demands for the program from Humanitarian Agencies working in Africa, Asia, Middle East, Eastern Europe, and the South Pacific, Family Challenge is dedicated to expanding EMPOWER trauma rehabilitation to people groups experiencing the effects of war and natural disaster throughout the world.

I will have the tremendous opportunity this upcoming Friday, Saturday and Sunday to attend a training on trauma and counseling put on by staff members trained in the Empower Trauma Rehabilitation counseling model. It will be hosted by an organization in Gulu called Favor of God Ministries. The training will include:

•An overview of trauma and its effects on the victim and their support system.
o Normal reactions to a traumatic event
o How a traumatic event can develop into Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder

•An overview of the Brain
o How it works
o Its response to trauma

•Basic counseling skills and strategies for group dynamics
•An introduction to counseling those who have experienced both acute and chronic trauma
•A guide through the Empower program developed by Dr. Robi Sonderegger Ph.D.
•Self-care: tips and strategies to avoid burnout on the field

As counseling is the one thing above all else that I am most passionate about – I am very excited for this upcoming opportunity.

Despite my being sick, the challenges have been opportunities for growth and I continue to attempt to make the most of each minute that I have here in Uganda. God is in the midst of working in my life, encouraging, stretching and refining me. He continually provides opportunities for me to have to rely whole-heartedly on Him.

I am currently reading a book by Neil T. Anderson, Victory Over the Darkeness: Realizing the Power of Your Identity in Christ. This is an excellent book. Although I have read this book nearly 10 years ago – I believe that I could read this book 5 times a year and still learn from and solidify the foundational truths of who I am as a result of who He is in me.

Wow – the beauty of recognizing the Truth of God and the power of His resurrection – and the impact of this event in the lives of those who have chosen to accept Christ as their personal Savior. As children of God, we have inherited literally, life-giving blessings – freedom from bondage, victory over fear, guilt and shame etc. These are facts and these blessings are available for our taking, but until we begin living from these truths and practicing them in our daily lives we will never operate in the freedom, joy and power that is available to us. I am embracing learning more about my identity in Christ and enjoying the new level of relationship with him as a result. What else is there to live for then to know Him – in every way possible? What an honor…

One never knows what to expect when they choose to walk a path of faith and surrender their own desires for the greater good of the whole.

The photo above is of the team from New Hampshire who spent 3 weeks with CVI. These are most of the women and some of the children who are currently living in the CVI rehabilitation program in Lukodi, Uganda.

My time here in Uganda since updating this blog last, has been full. Each day I am busy between spending time at the ChildVoice office in Gulu throughout the day, and visiting with friends that I met last year who live here in the community of Gulu. I have visited with many friends, boda boda drivers, my local, "Ugandan family" who catered to Brittany and I last year, as well as other very important and special people I maintained contact with throughout the year since leaving last June 2007.

Last Saturday Nulda, the mother to Lowna, a CVI staff member from South Africa in charge of the Income Generating Programs, led a workshop for the Senior Management Team of CVI in order that all crucial staff members could brainstorm to streamline the operations of CVI Uganda and have the chance to consider exactly what the primary goals of ChildVoice International Uganda are, and what role each staff member plays within the overall objective of CVI. This was a full day long meeting. The results of this meeting will be utilized to write up the Master Plan for ChildVoice International, assist CVI in moving forward, including implementing the CVI rehabilitation programs in various countries, and, most importantly for me, assist me in writing up and grant for USAID. This is what I will be spending the next month that I am in Uganda working on. I am refreshing my brain on how to write up grant proposals as I research and read a plethora of various materials, and will begin this morning creating the general outline for this grant.

Saturday night I visited a family who lives close by where I stay when living in Gulu. It was fun to surprise them, as I had not let them know that I was going to be arriving back in Uganda. Susan, the daughter is 27 years old and due to have a baby any day now, Mama, who's name is Lillian, once again insisted that I stay for a large dinner she would prepare. This ended up for a long evening. It was fun to re-connect with them again.

Sunday I spent the afternoon and on into the evening visiting with another Ugandan family that has welcomed and embraced me as a daughter - literally. I spent the early afternoon washing dishes and clothes, and then on into cooking dinner with Mama. One of the family members, Florence, had a birthday on Sunday, so we had an extra special evening of celebration. The father of the home arrived late as he was visiting his brother in the hospital, this caused the home to be a very family like atmosphere. It was nice to not be in the position of a 'guest', but rather have the chance to integrate and just, 'be'. I ended up spending 6 hours there as it began raining and they are insistent that it is not acceptable that I would walk in the rain... I very much enjoyed this visit, so good to catch up; to love and to be loved.

After I finished up with the family, I met up with D'Andrea and had a lovely time of connection as we talked for a couple of hours about various things on our minds.

On Monday morning I met D'Andrea at a small coffee/bakery shop called Cafe' Maq. Here we had a small breakfast and coffee before going to her hotel room where we shared various documents with one another and researched papers such as the Millennium Goals, Strategies for Sustainable Development etc. in order to assist me in the preparation of this grant. Last night I met up again with Alice and Dennis and there plethora of children, nephews, nieces, cousins etc. They all live close by and Alice's house seems to be the local hang-out spot for the many children in the area.

I was encouraged to eat dinner that Alice had just prepared, as Dennis had not yet arrived home from work to take me the village to visit grandma. It was agreed that as it was now almost dark and late I would not go the village that night. However, when Dennis arrived home, he was insistent that we jump on his motorcycle - one that had no padding to sit on, on the back of the seat, nor did it have shocks. After forced to finish eating posho, beans, meat and 'bo' - fried greens, I promptly made my way to the motorcycle and off we went on a very bumpy, cold, dark ride into the village to visit with grandma. Upon arriving I was greeted by many village members for a celebratory dinner of my return back to Uganda and specifically their village. Once again, I ate dinner and was treated to freshly squeezed passionfruit juice that was quite lovely. It was an intense reunion. Meeting up with Ugandan friends, especially after returning from America after over a year away ( and many of these friends wondering if I would uphold my promise to return) is a beautiful process, however, at times very overwhelming and at times exhausting. I went home last night, took a very cold shower, arranged my mesquito net over my bed and crashed - once I fell asleep, I was out hard!

This morning I am back at the ChildVoice office in Gulu, preparing to work on this proposal for USAID. Thank you all who are praying for me, the staff here, as well as ChildVoice as a whole. Your prayers are coveted.

First few days back in Gulu

Saturday, August 16th, 2008

I think I fell asleep - in my sleep last night… I was more tired lat night than I remember being in a very long time…

Today was a day of re-connecting with Ivan and his family. As you have read in the past, Ivan is a friend I met the very first day I arrived in Uganda last year in April. Ivan and I have remained in very close contact since our initial meeting of one another throughout the last 15 months since we have seen each other last.

After waiting for some time to hear from a man I was supposed to have a meeting with, I decided to go ahead and spend the day with Ivan and re-visit his mother and father. They do not live together, so we first visited his father. This visit was short but fun to have the chance to re-connect with Ivan and his family.

This was my first visit with Ivan’s father. His father has dis-owned him as a son, but still speaks to him on a limited basis. This is the unfortunate result of his father being an alcoholic and making rash decisions that result in improper and disappointing circumstances. Ivan wanted me to speak visit with his father in order that I would show myself to him in person so that his father would believe that indeed, someone believes in him and is willing to support his efforts in school that he may accomplish his bigger dreams and visions. The visit was brief, but good.

After visiting Ivan’s father, Ivan took me to many different homes to visit the orphaned children that he has taken under his wing. I met six of the seven children that Ivan has taken under his wing. Last year, as most of you know, Ivan was taking care of little Julius – an orphaned boy in his village. Since arriving back to Kampala this year, Ivan has chosen to accept in 6 more children in addition to Julius. It was inspiring to see Ivan’s compassion for these orphaned children and his future desires for these kids. We took the opportunity to buy mattresses, blankets and food for the children in order that they can better survive in the conditions that they are currently in.

Following the meeting of these children, we went to Ivan’s mothers house. I did not know that she had been planning my arrival for days. When I arrived there was a feast prepared for me, Ivan’s mother had been preparing for 2 days the food we were about to eat. Ivan’s mother has been so delighted that his son was able to finish school among other things as a result of mine and others support in his life, and after not having seen her in over a year – she went all out and invited the neighborhood for a party in my honor. It was an honor. Ivan is a phenomenal singer and after partaking in the feast, we all gathered together to sing worship songs, Ivan the lead singer and his guitar teacher playing guitar. It was an emotionally and physically exhausting day – but rich in friendships, experiences and love.




Sunday, August 17th, 20

I have been working between the Anchorage East Rotary club in Alaska and the Kampala, Uganda Rotary club to see about working together to create a project to submit a Matching Grant request to the International Rotary. Today I met with Simon, the most recent president of Rotary Kampala at Hotel Namirembe for a three hour discussion. We had a great meeting, I very much enjoyed our interactions with one another and am encouraged as a result of the meeting. Simon is very interested in creating a proposal to work with ChildVoice International and is further investigating the next necessary steps and will be getting back to me soon. ChildVoice International having the opportunity to partner with Rotary International is a tremendous opportunity. I look forwards to providing updates for you when I learn more.

The rest of my day was spent in town doing last minute shopping for CVI as well as myself before heading up to Gulu in the morning.

Monday, August 18th, 2008

At 6 AM, Ivan and I arrived at the bus station to take the bus from Gulu to Kampala. I had invited Ivan to join me on the journey up to Gulu as he has never before even left Kampala. He was thrilled with the opportunity to see new parts of Uganda, go to the ‘north’ and see where all of this devastation of the Lords Resistance Army has been taking place. Also, Ivan was excited about seeing the ChildVoice facilities in Lukodi and having the chance to better understand where I work and with who. Having Ivan with me benefited me as well as I appreciated having an extra set of eyes on my luggage. It is always a risk to travel by the postal bus with luggage, as bystanders know which pieces of luggage belongs to the international passengers and assume there must be valuables in the bags - it is frequent that locals will have their eye on bags to steal when the opportunity arises.

A lovely surprise I learned of yesterday afternoon was that Richard, the Logistics co-ordinator for ChildVoice, whom I worked with last year, was in Kampala visiting his family and was headed back up to Gulu on the exact same bus as Ivan and I! This was exciting as Richard was the first man to escort me to Gulu last year. I sat between Ricahrd and Ivan near the back of the bus. We only had one somewhat minor interruption throughout the trip and that was that one of the four back tires blew out – we were sitting directly on top of that back tire and felt the furious forceful eruption. I had just fallen asleep when the tire blew. As I opened my eyes there was a thick black billow of dirt flying through the open window only to land in our eyes, down our shirts, in our laps… The eruption of the tire was so forceful that it peeled away the side of the bus. After inspecting the bus, the drivers decided to drive on the three back tires (rather then four) the 20 minutes to the next town to change the tire. As we drove to the next town, one woman had to hold a part of the bus from the inside where she sat in order to prevent the siding from dragging on the ground as we drove! It was an adventure nevertheless, we made it to the town to change the tire and managed to make it into Gulu just a few hours later then planned.

After arriving into the wet pouring rain of Gulu, we took boda boda’s to the Royal Inn where I am currently staying until I re-locate out to Lukodi. There I had the chance to re-unite with Jennifer and a few other staff members of the Royal Inn who are likened to my sisters. I spent nearly a month living at the Royal Inn last year and developed very good relationships with these women. As I arrived this time I was picked up, spun around and hugged and kissed repetitively. I felt like I was the recipient of a happy puppy’s loving… It was a lovely warm embrace.

From here we, Richard, Ivan and I walked over to the ChildVoice Uganda Headquarters office – WOW! Impressive! ChildVoice has a beautiful office in a highly convenient location that is very valuable for the management of CVI as a whole. This office is a very busy place. Seven main desks make up the office. Staff members utilizing these desks include the Program Director, Deputy Director, Deputy Director Assistant, Accountant, Logistics Manager, and the Income Generating Projects Manager. The grounds are gorgeous surrounding the office – this space is a true blessing for CVI.

I met the current interns, Kristin and Natalie, all of the office staff members, current visiting team members from New Hampshire including the secretary, Kevin. Kevin was my interpreter last year when I was here doing interviews – she now is hired through CVI and as the secretary, it was truly lovely to see her again. I am so proud of her opportunity to have this job!

After initial introductions, Richard, Kevin, Ivan and I rode out to Lukodi for a very quick turn around trip to drop off a generator to the clinic. I had less then 5 minutes at the clinic before having to leave – but it was great to at least get a quick preview of the developments since I was there last – AMAZING!

Following this the team from New Hampshire, Ivan, Kevin, and other staff members and I, all went out to dinner. It was great to have this opportunity to get to know everyone a little more and enjoy traditional Ugandan food.

Tuesday, August 19th, 2008

This morning I met up with Ivan at the ChildVoice office where he was dropped off after returning from Lukodi. Ivan received the opportunity to sleep overnight in Lukodi at the Center. Here, he would sleep in a hut in a hammock. This would be the very first time for him to do either of those two things. I was proud of him when he accepted the offer. He was a little afraid, as he was now in the previous war – zone area of Gulu, that from Kampala, he had only heard horror stories of. When Ivan returned, he was gleaming. He really appreciated the opportunity and was excited to return home to family and friends to share of his experiences. Ivan and I returned walked back to the Royal Inn and we spent an hour together before taking his to the bus station to head back to Kampala today.

From the bus station I went back the ChildVoice office to meet up with deputy director, D’Andrea. D’Andrea is the most incredibly beautiful example to me of perseverance, compassion, motivation and commitment. D’Andrea has been with ChildVoice for over a year. D’Andrea arrived in Gulu to work as an intern through ChildVoice International last year with a few other interns from School of International Training in Vermont. When her official ‘internship’ was complete the other interns went back to America, while D’Andrea remained, as she had found her calling. D’Andrea is not only Deputy Director of the program, but ‘Mummy’ to all of the girls and their children in the ChildVoice Lukodi Rehabilition Center.

This morning D’Andrea was incredibly gracious to spend the morning over-viewing the ‘big picture’ of ChildVoice for me. This ‘big picture’ includes the ultimate goal of ChildVoice, major objectives, activities that fall underneath the objectives, means of verification and monitoring, assumptions etc.

Initially I thought that I would share with you more the great details of this master plan, and at some point I will. But today I think that there are some more important things to share with you: I want to share with you my heart, my experiences since being here in Gulu - my convictions, thoughts and feelings now that I have had the chance to see the ChildVoice Center and the women and children in the program for the first time in person.

This morning I woke up ready to face the day. I was excited about preparing to go to the office and meet with D’Andrea, hear of Ivan’s experiences in Lukodi and go out to Lukodi later in the afternoon to visit the Center and the women and children who live there. I made it as far as getting to the office (which is only a 10 minute walk from the Royal Inn where I am staying in Gulu), to pick up Ivan and I received a phone call from America.

You know how beautiful it is to hear the sweet voice of ones you love when you are far away… You know the security and comfort it brings, as well as how sometimes how, just that familiar voice, providing a moment of comfort can allow feelings/emotions to rise up…

The first question from my loving friend who called was, ‘how are you?’ I could barely respond. I did not know how to sum up all that I was feeling, seeing, thinking, experiencing, questioning, concerns, and things I was entirely delighted over… I became quite teary eyed at that moment, and found myself unable to even begin to share those details, some of which I had yet even fully processed within myself.

As I was in the middle of a quick meeting, I had to request my friend to call me back at a later time. I walked Ivan back to the Royal Inn and was able to get him set up with morning tea and some food for breakfast by the time I received my return phone call.

My passion for this program, ChildVoice International runs deep. It is imbedded in me and has been since I first began working on behalf of the organization and women and children in April of 2007.

The women, their children, their futures, the condition of their hearts… These are the things that I have pondered on, prayed over, shared with others about, and dreamed to see once again over the last fourteen months since I was in Uganda last year.

When I arrived yesterday it was quite a warm welcome. I was embraced with many hugs and welcomes from local Ugandan friends, as well as current interns, CVI staff members I had not met, other volunteers etc. This was lovely.

I received a chance to briefly see the Center in Lukodi yesterday – just a quick five-minute glance as the generator needed to be taken from the office in Gulu to the Center in Lukodi. We were given explicit direction to return the generator and quickly return back to the office to meet up with other interns/volunteers and staff member in order to head off to dinner.

When I arrived at the Center, I had only enough time to get out of the car, glance my eyes around at the development of the Center and get back in the car and leave again. To my surprise and delight, one woman was waiting right where we parked the car to return the generator – I did not even recognize her. Though I had shared her story and photos with hundreds of people in America, I did not recognize her upon seeing her in person. It was Concy and her little baby boy Chris (named after one of the men on the medical team from America who was staffing the medical clinic at the time she arrived soon after delivering her baby). The very first woman that I received the chance to hug in person at the Center was my precious friend Concy of whom I had the chance to work hand in hand with/for last year. This was extra special for me. ( I will explain about Concy in further details in another update for those of you unaware of her story). By now I had to get back in the car and leave to head back to Gulu for dinner. My time at the Center yesterday was short, but enriching.

Last year there was absolutely nothing in regards to an actual long-term rehabilitation center, nor where there even women yet chosen for the program. When I left last year my research partner, Brittany, and I had just completed the 300 surveys and narrowed them down to the most vulnerable 45 women eligible for the program. Specific women had not yet been chosen for the program, the old Lukodi Primary 7 school had not even been touched yet to begin the renovations to create the Center as it stands today. Many, many beautiful changes and developments have occurred over the last 14 months…

Today there is a gated Center where 29 women and their 38 children live. There are secure rooms for each mother and their child/children to live in. The woman are provided with education; basic education, early childhood development classes, baking/catering, income generating projects such as making and selling cards made out of paper that they themselves have made, tailoring etc. They have their own garden and have planted enough crops to provide vegetables for the Center for the next year. Some of the women are working in the community catering in local fancy dining facilities in Gulu. CVI has built a new school for the community of Lukodi where local children have the opportunity to attend, as well as the children of the child-mothers. This school is in sight and walking distance from the CVI Center.

I share all of this with you before explaining to you that after receiving my return phone call yesterday and I was once again asked how I was doing, I could not do anything but cry. Here I was on the front porch of my ‘home away from home’, (last year I lived for a month and the Royal Inn hotel in Gulu, a small guest house with very friendly staff who became my sisters – lovely little place, safe, comfortable and ‘home’) talking to a very special friend and can do nothing but weep.

As I began talking through my tears, I realized that I felt entirely overwhelmed. Overwhelmed with joy of the incredible progress of CVI as a whole; the development of the Center; the obvious changes in the physical, emotional, spiritual health of these young women whom a year ago had been living in the IDP camps from their time spent in the bush as child-soldiers of the Lords Resistance Army; the fact that there is so very much more yet to do; overwhelmed with wondering where my place in it all would be and other such things.

Through discussion on the phone this morning I was encouraged to remember that I do have a role and a place in this large vision of ChildVoice International, and that I do not have to choose to take on more then I can handle. God has the whole world in His hands and he is the one who will make all ends meet. It is only as CVI staff/volunteers/interns work together as a team, each putting our talents and experiences forward that we will accomplish the bigger picture of CVI.

Following the conversation on the phone, I finished visiting with Ivan before walking him to the bus station. From there I walked to the CVI office where I met with D’Andrea. When D’Andrea and I sat down to have a meeting together, she asked me, ‘so, how are you doing, Rebekah?’ It started all over again. I became teary eyed and choked up once again. I asked if we could pray together and we did. After spending time in prayer together we began over-viewing the large-scale mission of CVI – and breaking it down into sections ie. Long-term Self-sustainable Community, Rehabilitation, etc.. As a result of our conversation I learned a lot about where ChildVoice is currently and where they are headed; what the current needs are and how we may go about re-sourcing those needs. This time was well spent as I not only learned about CVI, but had a vital time of connection, sharing and learning with D’Andrea. We shared some common thoughts and feelings and connected on a level that helped me to understand why the tears were many.

ChildVoice International is the heart of God – to care for the children and orphaned, the widows and lonely. This vision of ChildVoice International, to restore the voices of children silenced by war, is huge – HUGE, but far from impossible. God desires to see the lives of these formerly abducted child soldiers be transformed; restored and revitalized, that His name would be glorified and that his power would be known. This is happening here at the ChildVoice Center in Lukodi, Uganda. These women who once could not look you in the eye, nor could they find a reason to smile or laugh, had poor physical health and injuries that would not heal, are now happy to look you in the eye, smile as they welcome you back to Uganda with a warm embrace, are very vibrant in personality, healthy, strong; learning, growing, thriving and no longer simply surviving.

The many tears I shed throughout the day have been an expression of joy for the work that has been done, changes revealed in the women’s lives, overwhelm for the work that has yet to be done, sadness for all of the thousands and thousands of other formerly abducted child soldiers who do not have the opportunity to be the ChildVoice Center rehabilitation program or other such programs to assist them in their physical, emotional, spiritual rehabilitation from times spent as a child soldier, and gratitude that in some small ways, I get the opportunity to be a part of this process; a part of ChildVoice International, but more importantly a part of Gods plan to not only be a resource to CVI and the woman and children, but be impacted and changed as a result of their influence in my life.

God is in the midst of doing great things all around us wherever we are. It is simply a matter of keeping our eyes open to see His hand at work, our hearts willing to be moldable and receptive and our ears able to hear His voice and walk in His ways. As we trust in Him, surrender our plans, agendas and ultimately our lives to Him; as we recognize that His ways really are higher then ours and that He can and will do things that we cannot even conceive at this moment, we can be encouraged knowing that those things which seem insurmountable are not only possible, but soon to be experienced. His promises are true and He never turns his back on his children who are seeking him and walking in obedience to his ways. This, I believe has been the reason CVI has experienced the success it has, the reason that the lives of the woman have been transformed as quickly and beautifully as they have – it is the power of living and operating from a foundation in Christ.

Later in the afternoon I had the chance to go out to Lukodi again. Here I was given a full tour of the facilities – bakery, school rooms, nursery, dorm rooms, staff housing, kitchen, vocational training classrooms, offices, playground, etc. I also had the chance to meet each woman individually. It was quite a beautiful and refreshing reunion. It was wonderful to have the chance to reunite with the girls and their children, observe how incredibly joyful and healthy that they are.

Kathy Mandsager, the founder/director of CVI’s wife led a team from New Hampshire to work in the Lukodi Center. I arrived on the tail-end of this teams trip. Today a ‘good-bye’ ceremony was held for the Kathy and the team by staff of the Center and by the women and children. The women sang some beautiful songs, staff members as well as each member of the team had a few moments to share their thoughts and then gifts were given to Kathy in leu of all she has done in starting ChildVoice from the ground up, supporting her husband in this endeavor and doing the ground breaking brunt work to make the center and CVI what it is today. It was a beautiful celebration, heavy rains on the tin roof and all…

Wednesday, August 20th, 2008

Last night I was in bed by 9:30 and awake by 4:30 – this is good for me, 7 hours of sleep, I am beginning to catch up again. At 8 am I met at the Acholi Inn with the team from NH, as well as D’Andrea, and Lona – a beautiful, talented women from South Africa who is now staff for CVI, in charge of the income generating projects for CVI. We first ate breakfast then had a small staff meeting concerning how to plan for prepare and execute international teams coming to CVI to do work projects etc. The remainder of my day was spent at the office working on various odds and ends. I finished up at the office around 6:30 and walked home to the Royal Inn. It took 2 hours to go the 10 minute walking distance as the word got out the 'Apiyo' was back back in town... I engaged in much conversation along the way home - it was fun to be so warmly embraced back into Gulu.

Uganda 2008

August 15th, 2008
Kampala, Uganda
10:25 am

This morning I woke up to the reflection of the sun, shinning off of the wall into my eyes. I rolled over and proceeded to go back to sleep as my body felt the effects of very little sleep in the last couple of days. As I began to regain consciousness, I remembered and thought, ‘wait! I am in Africa now…! No wonder it was the sun that woke me up!’

I arrived into Uganda late last night, 11:30 pm and made it to Hotel Nameribe where I stay when in Kampala by 12:30 am.

My trip to Africa began on August 10th, at 2:15 am when I flew from Anchorage, Alaska to Boston, MA arriving at 6:15 pm. The plane circled over Boston for 45 minutes before landing due to an intense thunder and lightening storm that closed all of Boston International airport for over five ours, restricting all flights from flying in or out of the airport. Fortunately, the flight I was on cam in on the tail end of the storm, and after finally landing, only had to wait for 45 additional minutes on the runway before getting to a gate to make my way off the plane. This is unlike the others I spoke with in the airport who had to wait 4+ hours on the runway stuck on the airplane waiting to get to a gate to unload. This was a result of the lightning that shut down all of the grounds crew operations that prevented the planes from being directed once landing on the runway.

From the Boston airport I gathered my luggage and proceeded to wait 1.5 hours for a bus to drive me to Portmouth, NH where I met up with Conrad Mandsager, founder/director of ChildVoice International. Conrad picked me up from the airport and drove me to his house where I was treated with great hospitality over the following 2.5 days before flying out to Africa.

While in Durham, NH with Conrad, I received the opportunity to learn more about CVI, the current work being done in northern Uganda as well as future plans for the program, developed a specified mission for my upcoming time in Uganda and received a great opportunity to meet other dedicated volunteers/board members of the organization as I attended the monthly board meeting for CVI. I also had the opportunity to be re-united with Charles, a formerly abducted child-soldier from Gulu, Uganda who is currently living with Conrad in NH. Charles is training with a road biking team, as he has and will continue participating in biking events to raise awareness of the issue of child soldiers as well as raise funds for Children of the World. This was a valued time of connection to ChildVoice International a well as a foundational preparatory time for as I prepared for the upcoming next couple of moths in Uganda. Thank you Conrad and Charles for your hospitality and friendship throughout those days.

As a result of my time with Conrad, we have agreed that I will focus on doing some networking with the Kampala Rotary club to see about facilitating the application process for a Matching Grant between the Anchorage East Rotary Club and the Kampala Rotary Club. I meet today with the president of the Kampala Rotary club to begin this process. I will also focus my energies on writing up a non-solicited grant to submit to USAID, assist in developing individualized education and case management files for each of the 30 women in the ChildVoice program. Another tremendous opportunity I have, is to meet later on in the month, here in Uganda with Dr. Robi Sonderegger, Ph.D. Dr. Sonderegger (www.familychallenge.com.au) has designed and implemented a trauma rehabilitation counseling model that is currently being used in Northern Uganda as well as other countries to assist former abductees in their healing process. Conrad suggested I send an email to Dr. Robi and see if perhaps we could meet up to learn more about this counseling model from him directly. I sent off and email and less then a day later received a response stating that he would be traveling throughout Africa and would be in Uganda the end of August, first part of September. I am very encouraged about this opportunity, perhaps this will be the fit for the women in the CVI program that we are looking for!

I left Boston airport at 7:30 pm on the 14th of August, flew to Amsterdam and Nairobi, Kenya before landing at the Entebbe airport in Uganda. My flight was full of conversations and little sleep. Between Boston and Amsterdam, I sat next to an elderly man named Balbir Narain Saxena from Sahibabad near Delhi, India. We had good a conversation that allowed that time to pass relatively quickly. Between Amsterdam and Nairobi, I sat next to a 30 year-old woman from Ireland who works for Doctors Without Borders. Very little sleep on that flight! Two high-energy like-minded women in similar life situations, her and I, – the chatter was nearly non-stop!

By the time I hit Nairobi, I was feeling the effects of a lack of sleep, however, after meeting an official from the Ethiopian United Nations who is the director of the Emergency Disaster Preparedness for all of Africa, once again, the conversation took place for two hours non-stop until boarding the flight to Entebbe. I learned a lot from this man and have new resources to add to my bag of possibilities in regards to avenues to pursue to further awareness/provide opportunities for ChildVoice and the women involved in the program.

I am in Kampala at the moment at Hotel Namirembe. This hotel is known as the ‘Hotel with the Million Dollar View’. Hotel Namirembe sits up high on a hill, overlooking the city of Kampala. I am surrounded with large colorful flowers and many loud birds. The weather is moderate, 75 degrees, low humidity and partly cloudy. It has been fun being back at the hotel as many of the staff members remember me from last year when I stayed here and have provided many very warm statements of, ‘welcome home!’ followed by very tight and repetitive hugs. It’s been honoring.

Thank you all who uphold me in prayer. Knowing that you pray for me provides me with strength, hope in the more lonely times, encourages me in times of uncertainty, and gives me peace overall.

A Summer of Continuous Unexpected Events

(Pilot friend of mine - Ricky and I, out on the Homer Spit photographing Eagles - self-portrait!)>

A summer of continuous unexpected events. Despite that I thought I would be in Africa at this moment, every turn of events this summer has been a good adventure; either a new fun adventure, or perhaps challenging – but great learning opportunity. I am currently in Homer, Alaska where I have been for approximately a month now. Here I have spent my time between working on my senior project for college, working for my friend Dr. Ken at his beach cabins and working for my friend Craig out on his 40 acre homestead.




(Homer Spit - I took photo from airplane as Ricky was flying overhead)

I will graduate from Alaska Pacific University at the end of July 2008 with a degree in cross-cultural psychology. My senior project consists of designing a website that provides a step by step outline detailing how to successfully prepare for, carry out, and debrief from participating in an international volunteer relief trip. As I have been actively involved in international work for some time now, I’ve found that I spend a large portion of my time sitting with individuals/couples who are interested in pursuing the chance to work overseas in some area of service but have no clue how to begin. It appeared to me that creating a website that can guide an interested person on basic factors to consider when considering an international relief trip would be a good use of my time.

In conjunction with this travel preparation outline, I will share about my latest trip to Uganda, Africa in 2007 working with formerly abducted child soldiers, providing information about what I did on my international volunteer relief trip, what was accomplished through my service, what the current issues are today concerning child soldiers and what the future holds for this expansive international issue. I will share my own detailed account providing a personal touch to the bare bone outline that I provide as a basic template for the preparations of international relief work.

This project has already taken 2 weeks longer than I anticipated, and I am still quite a was from being finished. I have been blessed with a lovely little “hobbit hole” of a home here in Homer to live in while I work on this project. Ironically, this cabin is just one house away from where I used to live when I lived in a Homer nearly two years ago! I really like the spot because granted that the house is pretty bare bones, I feel like I am being transitioned quite smoothly towards my return to Africa as this cabin has no plumbing and I must haul all of my own water to the house. No shower, toilet, running water etc. However, I do have a fantastic view of the ocean, mountains, sunrises and sunsets (though the sun hardly ever sets this time of year!) This has been a nice little healing haven to reside in while working on this project. My friend who lives in this cabin makes jewelry and has a gallery in Chitina, Alaska (near McCarthy, AK) and resides up there in the summers, this is how I am able to live here until the middle of July.

Prior to beginning work on my senior project, I took a job with my very good friend Dr. Ken. Dr. Ken owns land in various places around Homer. One piece of land that he owns contains a series of cabins down on Bishops Beach in Homer, and the other is a series of cabins in Neptune Bay. Granted that I don’t have the time to go into great details at the moment, it has been wonderful to work for him. When I work across the Bay in Neptune Bay, I take a skiff 10-15 minutes from the Homer boat harbor, hike another mile, or take a four wheeler to the series of cabins and a sauna that sits up on a small hill overlook the “Waz” River, ocean, mountains and way off in the distance, Homer –depending what angle you are looking from.





(View from inside the cabin looking towards the Homer Spit, "Wazoo" River feeding into the ocean. Photo taken at nearly 11PM May 27th, 2008)

Here I have been working with two spectacular men, Dale and Bill, adding an addition (dining room) onto the main cabin, building a tool shed, digging post holes, preparing for the installation of a windmill, landscaping, cooking meals/cleaning up/hauling water for the guys, planning wood, making trim, windowsills etc.



(Beginning phase of building the addition onto the main cabin)

Definitely been earning my muscles this summer! Animals are abundant, Dale is an avid birder, I have been learning all about my birds this year. Moose, bear, birds, fish, sea and land otters, eagles everywhere, there are 3 eagle nests within 100 yards of the house! Though I have many favorite things about being out at Neptune Bay, one of the top 3 best moments I experience out there concern 2 blue jay birds. These birds literally follow me almost everywhere waiting to eat peanuts out of my hand! Pretty phenomenal!




(One of the two Bluejays...)

Working for Dr. Ken at his other cabin, accessible only by a four-wheel drive pick-up driven 5 miles on the beach from town at low tide, or driving on the road system 7 miles out of town, hiking down Diamond Ridge trail to the beach and walking 3 miles along the beach shores. Here I have had the opportunity to assist Dr. Ken in his incredible gardens/greenhouse, as well as doing some landscaping.




(Some of the gardens and partial view of some of the cabins on Bishops Beach - Homer, AK)



(Different view/angle of the gardens I have had the chance to assist with at the Bishops Beach cabins)

He has taught me a lot about gardening and landscaping, digging planting beds while in between taking moments out to point out various birds that fly overhead. Here I have planted/transplanted many different types of vegetables and flowers including, broccoli, snow peas, zucchini, peppers, carrots, arugala, spinach, onions, potatoes, tomatoes, many forms of lettuces, in addition to flowers such as Jacobs Ladder, Delphiniums, Lilacs, Monks Hood, Fox Glove, roses, chrysanthemums etc. Many animals - primarily land otters, moose and bear. We have had one bear consistently getting into the food storage locker, always providing a mess for us to arrive to! I have to say, these two spots may be the most beautiful places in my life. It has been a tremendous honor to spend time out there. I only wish I was completed with my senior project so that I could work more for Dr. Ken. Dr. Ken is one of the most special people in my life, he has been a major influence, has taught me so much.



(Some greens in the greenhouse at Bishops Beach cabins)

It cracks me up to think that I thought my 'PLANS' were for sure going to happen. It is more often then not that when I make a plan, it does not work out as I initially planned for it to. My intentions for the summer were to leave for Africa the end of April and spend the the majority of the summer in Uganda and Ethiopia, return to America and finish up my college education at Alaska Pacific University in December 2008.

As a result of an unexpected and spontaneous health issue occurring a few weeks ago, I have had to revise my previous plans for the summer. As the agenda appears now, I will remain in Alaska for the summer allowing time for a full recovery and complete my college degree, graduating late July. I will proceed with the previous 'plans' to return to Africa after graduating in August.

All financial donations that have been sent my way are being stored in a bank account specifically for the upcoming trip to Africa. Thank you for your support of my work in Africa through your prayers, words of encouragement and financial assistance. I look forwards to what God has ahead during this summer of preparations to return! If you have further questions or would like to catch up please give me a call or send me an email.

I will continue to update this website throughout the summer, keeping you informed of events as the occur! Have a GREAT summer!

Due to unforseen circumstances, I have made the decision to post-pone this upcoming trip to Africa for a short period of time. I will still be embarking on this journey to Uganda and Ethiopia, Africa this summer; just not as soon as the originally planned date of April 23rd. I will spend this next bit of time in continued fundraising and tending to personal needs. I will let you know of the new departure date to Africa, just as soon as I know. Thank you for your prayers and continued support and encouragement. Looking forwards to sharing more with you!

IDEAS -DREAMS-GOAL

'Always in life an idea starts small, it is only a sapling idea, but the vines will come and they will try to choke your idea so it cannot grow and it will die and you will never know you had a big idea, an idea so big it could have grown thirty meters through the dark canopy of leaves and touched the face of the sky.' He looked at me and continued. 'The vines are people who are afraid of originality, of new thinking. Most people you encounter will be vines; when you are a young plant they are very dangerous.' His piercing blue eyes looked into mine.' Always listen to yourself, Peekay. It is better to be wrong than simply to follow convention. If you are wrong, no matter, you have learned something and you grow stronger. If you are right, you have taken another step toward a fulfilling life.'

Bryce Courtenay

Source: Power of One, Page: 157


SUCCESSES

'Again and again I therefore admonish my students in Europe and America: Don't aim at success -- the more you aim at it and make it a target, the more you are going to miss it. For success, like happiness, cannot be pursued; it must ensue, and it only does so as the unintended side effect of one's personal dedication to a cause greater than oneself or as the by-product of one's surrender to a person other than oneself. Happiness must happen, and the same holds for success: you have to let it happen by not caring about it. I want you to listen to what your conscience commands you to do and go on to carry it out to the best of your knowledge. Then you will live to see that in the long-run -- in the long-run, I say! -- success will follow you precisely because you had forgotten to think about it.'

Viktor Frankl (1905 - 1997)

Source: Man's Search For Meaning, Page: Intro

It is not the critic who counts, not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood, who strives valiantly…who knows the great enthusiasms, the great devotions, who spends himself in a worthy cause, who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who have never known neither victory nor defeat.

Theodore Roosevelt (1858 - 1919)

still on my mind, of course...



Since completing my assignments in Africa, and being home in Anchorage, Alaska for the last few days, I have been re-connecting with just a few friends, attempting to re-establish adequate sleeping hours (there is a 13 hour difference in Africa, and I am finding this process difficult!) and working on my school work that is soon due for the completion of the 18 credit summer semester I am doing through Alaska Pacific University.

Naturally, as to be expected, there is the re-adjustment period that I am walking through after returning from a foriegn third-world country back to America. I do not find this to be too difficult at the moment, but I am aware that I am not spending a lot of time in deep conversation, or even writing about these things at this time. I am however, waking up each morning with the awareness that 'perhaps' something could happen today that may trigger a memory of a time in Africa which may provoke challenging feelings to work through. With this in mind, each day continues to be an adventure, despite being back. America presents itself to me with whole new set of experiences, adventures, situations, circumstances, issues...you know, this thing called LIVING!

Finish each day and be done with it. You have done what you could. Some blunders and absurdities no doubt crept in; forget them as soon as you can. Tomorrow is a new day; begin it well and serenely and with too high a spirit to be cumbered with your old nonsense.

Ralph Waldo Emerson (1803 - 1882)

Each day since updating this blog last, has been filled with moments of emotional highs and lows, adventures of random sorts, and continuous thoughts of awe. I will admit that throughout this time I have relied on the above quote for inspiration as often times, I felt less effective then I aimed to be. This I do know was partly a result of the lethargy and aches caused by the malaria which has lingered for some time now. Between the ill feelings and the mental challenges resulting from the reality of my inability to solve each issue I encountered on a daily basis, I caught myself at times lingering in yesterday, wondering what I could have done more effectively, or perhaps feeling twinges of irritation for not doing a specific something. This is when I called upon memory of the words of Emerson and remind myself that I have done that best I could with what I had...and it was time to move on, to 'finish each day and be done with it.' To live my life 'with too high a spirit to be cumbered with my old nonsense' - indeed is a daily aim.

Roasting Ethiopian Coffee



Prearing for a Traditional Ethiopian Coffee Ceremony



Rebekah on Water for the First Time in Close to 3 months!!



Wild (but tame) African Monkey



Ephrim (Catherines brother-in-law) Rebekah and Catherine

I am who I am as a result of lessons learned through blood, sweat, and tears; of smiles, laughter, and kisses. I aim to live my life with no regrets. Looking back at what I've had and what I've lost adds only to my understanding of what it means to live.

What is my purpose in life?
Where do I fit in in the 'grand scheme' of things?

I cannot begin to address these inner questions without an understanding of perhaps the one who created “life” itself and who is in control “the grand scheme” of things.

I am an entity in constant change, just as you and everything else are, ever evolving to grasp this understanding we call “reality” hidden behind veils of illusions. I have decided I will no longer let fear nor greed lead me, but rather - this thirst for understanding of all that there is, in essence, all that He is. Knowing that it is not the goal that is important, but rather the journey of everyday, I yearn to know God, and the power of his unconditional love in whatever way necessary to be "fully alive".

SHORT BIOGRAPHY OF FORMER CHILD MOTHER

Akello Sunday was only 12 years old when she was abducted by the Lords Resistance Army in 2003. After being given the choice to assist in the death of her parents or be put to death herself; Akello was forced to begin biting her parents in the process of their killing before the LRA completed their death by canning. After living in captivity for 2 years, Akello managed to escape with her now 1.5 year-old daughter who was conceived and born in the bush. She is now living in an IDP camp in Coo-pe, a small village outside of Gulu, Uganda.

Akello married after returning home from the bush in 2005, but since, had her husband abducted and he has never returned. Akello is ostracized by most of the community that she lives in as a result of having brought home a, ‘bush baby’. A single elderly woman welcomed Akello in to live with her after Akello’s husband was abducted. The elderly woman and Akello have no way to finance themselves due to their health issues. As a result, Akello is malnourished and therefore unable lactate in order to feed her own child. She and her baby were seen at the medical clinic staffed by the medical team that came from America. She was obviously malnourished as was her child, who was diagnosed with malaria, scabies and an infection of the ears. The heartache of hearing stories such as this is great. But we have a hope that supercedes this pain. Through your prayer and financial support to ChildVoice International, provisions will be made possible to provide long-term rehabilitative program care to formerly abducted child mothers such as Akello.

EMMANUEL ORPHANS DEVELOPMENT ASSOCIATION (EODA)
and
CHILDREN OF THE WORLD (CTW)

Since arriving in Ethiopia on the 21st of June, I have been working with founder/director of Emmanuel Orphans Development Association and Children of the World non-profit, Catherine Miller, on various projects. Some of the projects I am working on or have already completed are; compiling information for the upcoming newsletter by taking photos of children who live in the Emmanuel orphanage, as well as interviewing and writing up their biographies to be published in the newsletter, writing up letters for different organizations on behalf of EODA, creating a formal brochure for both EODA and Children of the World, creating new intake documents including:

• parent/family history forms
• personal history forms
• child growth and immunization chart forms
• health history forms
• inheritance forms
• child school progress forms
• book reading progress charts

Catherine and I have spent two weekends in Wolliso, Ethiopia, a two hour drive from Addis Ababa where the orphanage is located. Here we visited with the children (took a lot of photos!) and worked on many various projects. In order to gain a better understanding of these programs I will provide you with some background information:

Emmanuel Orphans Development Association obtained its national certification from the Ministry of Justice as a relief and development association in 2005. The Emmanuel Orphans Development Association is primarily funded through the non-profit organization, Children of the World, as well as assistance from individual donors. EODA currently has 43 orphans that are living in the orphan village. EODA’s program provides love, shelter, food, clothing, public school education, after school tutoring, health care, HIV testing and treatment, life skills training, legal protection and advocacy, child rights and gender awareness, computer skills, animal husbandry and agricultural training.

In 2005, EODA expanded their after school program to include an additional 77 vulnerable children within Wolliso town, providing after-school tutoring, payment of school fees, school supplies, and uniforms.

EODA has clear and transparent financial accounting; a strong monitor and evaluation program. EODA currently works with the international NGO – Children of the World, governmental organizations, community leaders, schools, parents, and international and local volunteers, to strengthen their capacity to deliver quality service to the orphans and vulnerable children of the Wolliso, Ethiopia district.

We are currently working on a project proposal that will provide funding for the next five years to provide these services to an additional 100 children.

THOUGHTS

The following excerpt is taken from a book that was generously loaned to me by a good friend to read throughout my time in Africa. It is titled, ‘The Dust Diaries – An African Story” by author Owen Sheers.
The Bishop had lasted a long time, much longer than most. A total of nineteen years of service, starting off in the south, far south, in the diamond town of Kimberly, then migrating north, into Mashonland and the sudden violence of the native uprising of 1896. A widower, he’d arrived in Southern Rhodesia seven years ago a hollow man, a husk blown north on little more than the wind of his wife’s death and his own song lines of grief. He’d come to replace the Bishop Knight Bruce, looking for more of the pioneering work he had done in Kimberley, where he had risen to the challenge of that town to become both rector and archdeacon.
It was a hard town, hard as the diamonds at its core, where the prospectors spent their days flogging their bodies in the mines and their nights dreaming of the future happiness their riches would bring them. They mined the earth for the elusive diamonds, while he mined their souls for an equally elusive faith. It seemed like an agreement, a contract, and over time, he’d gained a respect in the town, and not just when he was needed, to marry, bury, christen. He also won the respect of the miners for who he was – a man, doing his job, just like them. And diamonds and God, he had come to decide, had a lot in common. They both held promises for men, and were received either by those who worked hard, went looking for, or more often than not, by those who just stumbled upon them. No logic. Gems, hidden in the dirt. Soul prospecting.
After shaking out of my captivated state of mind through reading this, I immediately knew this was the clearest way I could sum up the events of the previous week since I have updated last. Much has happened since my latest entry. Many definite detailed events. Nevertheless, with all of the varied experiences and circumstances, the simplest way to sum up my life over the last week is:
NO LOGIC. GEMS HIDDEN IN THE DIRT. SOUL PROSPECTING.

On Wednesday morning, believing I had conquered the knarly Malaria that had kept me near bed bound for the previous few days, I ventured from Gulu, Uganda by way of public bus transport, headed to the big city of Kampala. Here I spent one and a half days with a 21 year old student, Ivan, whom I am sponsoring in order that he may complete his basic education studies; enabling him to sit for board exams to enter into University. Ivan has only one more term to complete before he is eligible to take his exams for entrance to University. Exams are held the middle of December, and if all goes well, Ivan will be eligible to enter into University beginning in January.
I met Ivan my second day in Kampala while at the local outdoor Friday African Craft Market held in the YMCA Kampala parking lot. Ivan was simply walking through the parking lot as I lifted my head up from gazing at a beautiful piece of pottery. We made eye contact and I smiled. He smiled back just as he was passing me by. Ivan asked my name as I did his. After a few minutes of conversing, I asked Ivan if he knew of a near-by place I could buy a sim card for my cell phone. He politely instructed me where I was to walk and how much I was to pay (to not be taken advantage of simply because I was a foreigner). As I was looking a little confused as to where I was to go for this sim card, Ivan offered to walk me to the store. I accepted the offer and soon we were on our way in search of the sim card.
I gave Ivan the money to purchase the card for me, (to be charged the correct price). Yeah! I had my new Ugandan cell phone number! I ended up spending the next many hours with Ivan receiving a tour of the city of Kampala as well as the opportunity to visit the village he is from, including meeting his mother. (Because of his father’s issues with alcoholism, Ivan seldom sees his father, nor does he have a good relationship with him. His parents are no longer married).
The first place we visited when we arrived by boda boda (motorcycle taxi) to his village was his house. Because he had been living with his father – and his father was away on an alcohol binge, the door to his small house was pad-locked shut. Not owning a set of keys for himself, Ivan was unable to get inside of his house. Next Ivan took me to his next-door neighbor’s house so that he could introduce to me a very special friend of his – Mohammad. Mohammad is an orphan that was abandoned by both of his parents on the same day. He was left alone inside of a very run down hut for nearly three days before he was found. Since Mohammad was found abandoned nearly one year ago, his parents have never returned for their boy, nor have they been located. Ivan has been nearly the sole provider/caretaker for this little boy. It was Ivan’s neighbor who found little Mohammad after hearing a faint but repetitive whimpering coming from the old hut while she was heading to the field to harvest vegetables.
Because Ivan’s father frequently locked Ivan out of the house when he was out drinking, Ivan would go to his neighbor’s house for a place of refuge. When Ivan arrived at his neighbor’s house that day, he was quite surprised to see a small infant of approximately only eight months old lying on the nearby sofa. When Ivan inquired about this little fella and learned of his story, Ivan was compelled by compassion to immediately pick up to cradle the weak little boy close to him. From that day until now, Ivan has accepted the responsibility of this little baby Mohammad though the daily provisions of food and care. Ivan has worked odd jobs in order to provide the little bit that he could for this little guy – spending all of his money on the needs of Mohammad, before even himself. Some days, Ivan went without eating, in order that Mohammad could have food. The little boy lived at the neighbor’s house on the condition that Ivan was the provider and caretaker of the boy.
When I met Ivan that day, and after meeting his little boy Mohammad, I inquired with Ivan as to whether or not he attended school. He explained to me that due to his father’s alcoholism and his mother’s illness with diabetes, there was no money available to provide Ivan with food, let alone for him to attend school. (In Uganda, as in many countries within Africa, there is no such thing as ‘free public school’. There is a required school fee to pay, in addition to the fees of the required uniforms and scholastic materials, as well as the fees for optional room and boarding.) When Ivan and I had finished spending time with little Mohammad Ivan and I went to a nearby little ‘hole in the wall’ hut where we ate lunch. This was my first traditional Ugandan meal. Fish stew, (fried fish in a tomato oil broth) matoke, (similar to a boiled plantain – then mashed into a texture of mashed potatoes) and posho (ground corn flour mixed with boiling hot water into a large clump. Imagine lumpy cream of wheat – take one of the lumps out the cream of wheat and enlarge it to the size of 15-pound rockfish – this is the average size of a batch of posho. The posho is then dispersed in chunks the size of a small football, and is used like a spoon. First, you break a chunk of posho off with your fingers, roll it around into a ball and then make an indent in the center with your thumb. You then maneuver your fingers in such a way as to break off a piece of fish while dipping your posho into the tomato broth and filling the indented posho with the fish meat, and all together now – the posho, fish and broth are brought to your mouth with your fingers… it really is a work of art!

Over the course of lunch, I asked Ivan about schooling and what he would like to study if he ever had the chance to go back. A little sparkle formed in his eyes and immediately Ivan began to share with me his dream to start up an orphanage. He revealed to me his dream of beginning a home for street children and those orphans affected by AIDS/HIV either through loosing parents or through personally being infected by the disease. This is one hopeful young man, who believes that all things are possible, even when the future looks bleak. Ivan had not been in school for nearly two years due to lack of financial resources. However, he has never lost hope that one day he could finish his general education. His dream for the last year and a half has been to be able to complete university to obtain a degree that would allow him the knowledge needed to begin a home for the homeless and orphaned children. Ivan’s conviction is that the home he dreams of is to be focused on a wholistic view of life, addressing the physical, emotional, mental, financial and spiritual needs of the children within the home. After spending a couple of more hours with Ivan, I suggested we meet up once more the following day before I headed to Gulu just a few days after that. Throughout that evening, I prayed about the decision I felt compelled to make regarding sponsoring Ivan for his school fees. It did not don on me until the next day after talking with Ivan about my desire to assist him in finishing up his general studies, that in order for Ivan to do so, he would have to give up the care of little Mohammad. If he did this, who would care for the boy, and where would Ivan stay while attending school? The school was much too far away from where he was currently living (at the neighbors home), next to his father’s house. There were many questions to be answered, but I wanted to pay the school fees and get Ivan into school immediately as time was running far and quickly from us. School had already begun for that term and I was leaving the next day for Kampala.
The long and short of it is as follows: I was able to assist Ivan in paying for his school fees that term, including his scholastic materials, uniform fees and room and boarding costs. However, the immediate problem was what to do with Mohammad. Overnight we managed to find a solution, although we knew it would not be a lasting one, it would suffice for the meantime.

A very good friend of Ivan’s, Nsubuga Sunday, died on January 14th, 2006 of meningitis, leaving his wife, Damari Nabatanzi alone with her three and half year old son and four month old daughter. In the Ugandan culture, when your husband passes on, the wife has no rights to anything, and the husband family automatically assumes ownership of all property and material possessions leaving the wife without anything to support herself or her children with. Although her son five year old son, Mark Senyange currently lives in the village with Damari’s grandmother, her now one year and eight month old daughter, Patience Namutebi lives with Damari at a friend’s house. They both live at Damari’s friend’s house in exchange for caring for her friends 5 children, cooking, cleaning and hauling water.

Ivan had the idea to ask Damari if she would be able to assist him by caring for Mohammad as well. After inquiring with the woman whom she lived with, Damari informed Ivan that she would begin caring for Mohammad just as soon as he was to begin school. Knowing that she would receive nothing more than the joy of loving this little orphan who had nowhere else otherwise to go by caring for him, no monetary compensation, or even a change of clothes for the boy, she agreed. She agreed and Ivan was in school the next day!
I have finally arrived back to Kampala after being away for two months in Gulu. The bus ride lasted close to eight hours. I waited for a half hour for Ivan to pick me up at the old bus park where my bus had dropped me off. Upon arriving in Kampala, the power had gone off. When I arrived at the little guest house that I planned to stay overnight at, they were unable to accept me in as a guest for the night due to the generator not working and having no power. At this point, it was close to 9 PM, as we had to take a private hire nearly 45 minutes away to get near to where Ivan’s school is where I would stay close by, in order to visit his school the next day. –At this point, I decided I would just stay at Ivan’s little hostel with him and his three other roommates. I lugged my baggage on my back down the steep hill to the main road, across the street and up another big hill until we reached his little hostel that he stays near his school.
Although I was eager to have some of my own down time that night, I know Ivan was beyond thrilled that I was able to visit with him and his many classmates that evening. Despite that, the power was out all around us, we walked over to his school where he introduced me to nearly thirty friends who were hanging out on the lawn in front of the school. Most of them were already there as they were studying their homework – due to the power being off and not having a generator at the school; they chose to remain on the lawn, waiting for the arrival of this mysterious mzungu (white person) whom was able to assist Ivan in getting back to school. Ivan had told the entire school that I would be there to meet every one of them. While I did meet a few thirty some of them that evening, I returned the next day in the daylight to meet them as well as the others so that I could meet them face to face, rather than only by voice recognition (it was very dark!)
After leaving the school, Ivan and I and his other three roommates, walked to the little super market where I bought dinner for all of us. Dinner consisted of biscuits (sweet cracker), strawberry yogurt, small cake-like muffins, green apples and mango juice. For these boys this was a huge treat. Most of these kids receive only what the school feeds them, which is generally traditional Ugandan food, posho and beans, and sometimes boo (pronounced ‘bough’) which is a fried green vegetable similar to spinach. We arrived back to their home where we sat to a ‘candle-light’ dinner (one small thin candle to light up the room). After finishing dinner and sharing various stories comprised of traditional Ugandan childhood rituals and American comparisons (some of which there were none!) the power came on! We had power just long enough for me to grab the computer to show these boys what snow looks like! For all four of these young boys (ages 16-21) it was their first time ever to see the snow! I continued to show them photos of my family and the power went out once again. It was then that we agreed to get to bed.

I must say, this was not a comfortable night of sleep. Their boarding facilities are not what one would think of in terms of an American boarding school. Rather this was one long cement trailer like structure. Four walls shaped into a rectangle, tin siding covering triangular shaped wooded timbers comprising of the roof made up the ten rooms that boarded some families not associated with the school as well as other boarding students. Throughout the night, I learned that it is completely acceptable to have the neighbor’s radio, which sounded like nothing more than someone screaming and shouting through very deep but loud static, blare throughout the early morning hours…3:25 AM to be exact…I was still awake then. I slept on the end of a full sized mattress shared with two others while the other boy slept on the cement floor. Granted that I would have preferred the cement floor, which I really do not mind and actually at times really enjoy, (just ask Acen Brittany!) out of courteousy from the boys, I was to sleep on the mattress. I really was too tired to fight this unnecessary battle. I plopped on the mattress covered with a thin sheet and whatever clothing I wore throughout that day, and prayed immediately that the irritating radio would shut off. My prayers were answered 4.5 hours later. I had a lot of time to think that night anyway…
In the morning, the other three boys minus Ivan prepared for school and left by 7:10 AM to begin walking the 15 minutes to school. Breakfast is served at 7:30 and school begins at 8:00 AM. I repacked my bag while Ivan went to find a private hire that would enable me to take my bag back into town to claim a room at the Namirembe Guest house which is where I stayed my first few nights in Uganda – where I met Brittany for the first time! After receiving a very warm welcome back from the guest house staff, I was able to check into my room (ironically I was given the exact same room I had when I was there 2 months prior, it was like coming home!) From there Ivan and I walked into town, as I needed to exchange American cash into Ugandan shillings, and then proceed to the Emirates travel agency where I would pay for and retrieve my ticket from Entebbe, Uganda to Addis Ababa Ethiopia. After completing this mission in town, we managed to catch a taxi to the next boda boda stop where we took boda’s to reach the home of Damari, Patience and Mohammad. Here I got to see Mohammad after a two-month lapse. What a good visit!
When I had left Mohammad two months prior, he had a belly so full of worms that when I did an examination of him, worms were crawling from inside of his body, out of his rectum. His little belly was so round, so tight, so big for a young kiddo of his size! Just prior to leaving for Gulu, I was able to get this little guy de-worming medication. He looked so good upon my first sight of him at his new home, with his new caretaker Damari!
This was my first time to meet Damari. What a precious, special and beautiful young woman! Though she did not speak English, Ivan was an excellent translator. We spent nearly an hour together chatting and getting to know one another. This was when I received the full story of her current situation.
Although two months prior, the friend that Damari lived with accepted little Mohammad into her home to live with and be cared for by Damari, upon my arrival, Damari had just been given three days prior, a week to find another place to live. Her friend was feeling overwhelmed with another child in the house and was ready for them to leave. With four days to go until Damari had to find a home for herself and children, absolutely no money to her name and no one to turn to for assistance; and I still having a little more than enough money in my pocket to get me back home to America, including a ticket literally in my hand - how could I not offer to pay for the first four months of rent for a home for Damari, Patience and little Mohammad? Rent is just 20,000 shillings a month – an equivalent of 12.5 American dollars. After seeing the place Damari would move into with Patience and Mohammad, I felt comfortable to assist Damari by paying the first four months of rent for her and the children. With the rent money, I included enough finances to provide for two child mattresses, an adult mattress, simple sheets, some staple food items, medicine for the scabies that Mohammad currently has, and a small stipend for any unseen emergencies. Because I met with the proprietor of Damari’s new home and took time to verify all of the financial aspects of this situation I felt a contentment to precede in this situation as I did.
Soon enough, our time was up and Ivan and I had to quickly catch another boda boda to his school where I had a meeting with the head master of his school. Here I was able to verify all that Ivan had accomplished in the last couple of months since he enrolled in school. When I provided the financial assistance for Ivan to go to school, I made him promise to do everything within his power to do the very best he could in his schooling. I wanted to see good grades and a happy teacher when I arrived to visit him two months later. He did not let me down. Ivan is the top third of the students of his class of over 200 students.
After meeting with Ivan’s head master (principle) and three of his four instructors, I was encouraged. It was evident that my intuition on this young lad was not incorrect! He is doing wonderful in school, appears to be one of the favored friends at his school and is excelling in his studies! I received the breakdown of the next terms expenses well as a copy of Ivan’s grades and test scores from his head master as well as received a very detailed expression of gratitude for the financial assistance to Ivan. What is interesting is that although it does in reality cost some money for him to attend school, it is NOTHING compared to what we, as Americans would pay for a student to enter into a private school (considering this is all we can compare it to, since our education through grade 12 is free).
I have shared many details regarding Ivan and his opportunity to attend school, as well as of the situation with Mohammad because I am amazed. I am amazed at the beauty of people networking together to accomplish a greater good. Before I left for this trip to Africa, I did not have the financial means possible to make this trip become a reality. However, I did believe that I was called to go. This took a step of faith for me to reach out to you. Many of you who are reading this posting right now, are the only reason any of these beautiful, hard, and sad - but beautiful realities for some have been able to take place. I did not have the financial means to get here to Africa, let alone provide some of the Africans I have met with the much-needed medicines, or assistance in getting a home until the person is capable to get back on their own feet again. I definitely did not have the money to be able to build the doors for the door-less huts in the IDP camp of Lukodi, (which I will soon write up a very positive update about.) However, because of your willingness to support me financially, I have been able to share the love of Jesus in a very real and personal way to many people who otherwise may not have received the blessing of the extended hand of Jesus working in their life. This is simply one of many examples of everyday people in Uganda, let alone the whole world-wide, who are desperate for love, for acceptance, for hope. Because you have gifted me, to make this trip to Africa possible, many many others have benefited in tremendously life-giving ways.
After leaving Ivan’s school we took a boda boda to his mother’s house. I knew she was waiting for us, and I naturally expected to be served tea and some food, however I did not expect to have a feast for fifty people provided, with me as the guest of honor! Ivan’s mother had spent the entire day preparing food for this event. This was her way of sharing with me her gratitude for my willingness to assist her son in school, as well as Mohammad and his new caregiver Damari. All of Ivan’s family members from the nearby villages were there awaiting to meet me. I was nearly dumbfounded! In order to share my gratitude of appreciation for all the work that ‘Mama’ had done, I ate so much matoke, boiled plantains, chicken, Irish potatoes, boo, and Sprite that I thought I’d have to sleep before moving along to my next destination! I could not sleep, as much as I wanted to, as I had a friend of mine, Mary – my interpreter from Soroti, on her way from Soroti to Kampala to spend the night with me at Namirembe Guest house. Mary took it upon herself to get on a bus and take the 6 hour bus ride to Kampala, just to see me off from Uganda to Ethiopia.
After finishing lunch at Ivan’s mothers house, I had yet, another big event take place which detoured me over 2 hours from meeting Mary at the bus station. ( I will write this interesting post at another time…) However, in the end, I managed to get back to the Namirembe Guest House where Mary took a boda boda from the bus station to the Guest House to meet me. We had a lovely evening together over the course of dinner. After dinner, due to exhaustion on both of our parts, we climbed into our little bed and slept through to the morning.
After running a few errands, I met up with Ivan and our hired driver to take me the 40 some minute drive from Kampala to Entebbe to catch my flight from Kampala to Addis Ababa. The flight was smooth, I arrived in Addis Ababa with just a little harassing from the Immigration – took me about 40 minutes to get through immigration – just long enough for Catherine to become very concerned of my whereabouts… Fortunately Catherine waited for me long enough that by the time I finally reached the last part of the immigration process she could see me, and we were both relieved of the questions considering what our evening would entail…
To be continued...

little friend



line at medical clinic in Soroti



waiting for treatment



child artist

Prior to meeting me in Kampala, Brittany had completed a semester overseas through Food for the Hungry. She spent most of her time in Uganda, with a special trip to Rawanda to study peace and reconciliation processes while studying the history and current issues related to the Rwandan Genocide. For her field assignment, Brittany spent one month in Soroti working/researching in the Obuku IDP camp. It is here that Brittanys heart was captured. Even though we worked very hard and diligently on our research project in Gulu, the Obuku people of Soroti were not far from a topic of conversation, nor were they ever out of her mind. For this reason it was imperative that as a friend and supporter her passions, I accompany her to Soroti and assist her in delivering medical supplies to the IDP medical clinic which sits just outside the village. Brittany was able to raise over one thousand American dollars to buy medical supplies for the clinic. Although Brittany was unable to remain in Soroti for the actual day of treatment with the medicines, she was able to arrange the appropriate logistics by speaking with persons such as the Disaster Relief Coordinator, Department of Public Health and a few others in order to solidify the necessary logistics. Unfortunately due to time, Brittany had to leave the following day on a bus to Kampala where she met up with the medical team that was previously in Gulu and flew back to America with them. I remained in Gulu where I stayed with Mary, one of the translators that Brittany used during her previous month long stay. Mary was a huge assistance, and fantastic friend. We had a very good time together, I was blessed tremendously by she and her sister who hosted me in their home for two nights.

The medical clinic was a success! Over 235 people recieved medical assessments and appropriate treatment. As there were some medical supplies and medicines left over, I stayed a second day in order to ensure that these items were distributed as intended to the IDP's - free of charge. One problem that has been a common occurance in the past is that of medical professionals claiming medical supplies given to them from the government or other NGO's free of charge - but mis-using them as they require a fee from their patients to have access to the treatment. I had been advised multiple times of the importance of overseeing the medicines to ensure that the IDP's recieved them for free and that the drugs not be stolen by the medical practicioners for their personal use or to sell.

I returned home via another extremely bumpy long bus ride home to Gulu. It was such a wonderful feeling to come 'home'!

FINALLY! AN UPDATE!

On June 3, founder/director of ChildVoice International, Conrad Mandsager, along with his wife, parents and brother, as well as others from America arrived in Gulu, Uganda. This team, composed of medical doctors (Conrad’s’ father Bob and younger Brother Neil), two nurses and a variety of other professions, came excited about the opportunity to assist some of the Child Mothers that Brittany and I have interviewed as well as nearby local IDP’s (Internally Displaced Persons) by providing medical assessments and treatment. This was a very exciting time for Brittany and I as neither of us had ever met Conrad or the survey designer, 24 year old Master student from Brown University in Public Health – Tae, whom we were working with for a couple of months over email. This was a very eventful and exciting time of meeting and working together.

Throughout the five days the team worked in the medical clinic, an average of 150 patients were treated per day. It was no doubt a group effort! Where the time went, I definitely do not know. Already it is June 13, 2007, I left for Africa in April and it is already the middle of June?!

Brittany and I felt unprepared for the assignments given to us during this week. We knew that we were to complete the surveys of the 300 women before the teams’ arrival, and we knew that we would be assisting the medical team in a fashion of some sorts. What we did not know was that we would be requested to review our surveys and choose the top 100 most vulnerable women out of the 300 that we had interviewed, to be recruited to the medical clinic that was being held that week. Each day for five days Brittany and I were to escort the hired vans/drivers to the village where we would pick up 20 women to drive to the medical clinic to be assessed.

(After these 100 women receive their medical assessment and treatment, a second cut of 45 out of those 100 women will be initiated. These 45 women will be the first group of women chosen to enter into the pilot program of ChildVoice Internationals long-term plan of creating a sustainable community for the reconciliation, rehabilitation and reintegration of formerly abducted child mothers. This program will provide physical, spiritual, psychological, intellectual and financial support for the child mothers through the many programs and services that will be provided.)

Having been on our own (Brittany and I) and nearly the only persons of snow-white skin color throughout the actual town of Gulu for nearly six weeks, it was admittingly a little awkward to, first of all, share Brittany with the other members of the team and secondly to associate with members of my very own American culture – on their terms. Within the short six weeks of being in Uganda it had become more second nature to speak a certain way, react and respond in ways specific to the Ugandan culture. This time with the team was a fun re-transition (in thinking – regarding my usual American ways of being) as well as awareness of the realities of the influences of this rich culture!

After arriving and checking into the Hotel Diamond Complex (where Brittany and I stayed during the first two weeks of our time in Gulu), Brittany and I arrived to meet the team. I was thrilled to finally meet Conrad, his family and the rest of the team members after many weeks of delayed gratification! It was during this meal that Brittany and I were given our assignment to narrow down the first 100 women and to locate them within their IDP camps at least a day in advance in order to alert them of their opportunity to get a free medical and extremely inexpensive treatment for both themselves and their ill children.

Considering that every one of the women interviewed falls into a ‘vulnerable’ class, it was extremely difficult to begin selecting one woman over another, knowing that the one not chosen was in a state of desperation herself, but in one way or another, did not meet the necessary qualifications. Brittany and I each went through phases where at one point one of us would be able to objectively look at surveys and choose the most likely candidate over another without being emotionally involved, while the other was on a healthy roll of balancing the professionalism vs. the personalism within the work context. At times I would have to step back and say that I was taking a 10-minute breather and other times Brittany would. We agreed together that this process of choosing the top100 most likely candidates was more emotionally draining then any of the initial in person interviews that we conducted. To consider that potentially a women would receive a chance to enter into ChildVoice’s life-giving sustainable community pilot program or not depending upon decisions that we would make, created a sense of intense responsibility coupled with a very deep desire for wisdom and inner guidance.

Over the course of three days Brittany and I overviewed the surveys, always having at least twenty women chosen a day in advance in order to alert them in time that they would arrive to meet the van the following day. The day before any group of women arrived at the medical clinic for their free medical exams and treatment, one or both of us would travel to the village of the IDP camp and being to search for these women. Sometimes this had to be conducted through a door-to-door search, while other times we were able to have assistance from community members, or child-mother group leaders who are volunteers through out partnering organization, Action for Children.

I could write a small novel just on our experiences attempting to pick up the twenty women each day from their villages. For times sake I must keep it to the point. After the first day of picking up women from their villages it became obvious very quickly that we would need to come up with some sort of screen process before allowing a woman and her children to enter the bus. The first day upon arrival in Unyama, there were over 50 women waiting to board the van. Knowing we could only take the initial 20 women we requested, we did a roll call. Those who responded, entered the bus.

It did not take long to learn, when more then one women answered to a given name, that they were not being truthful in their identities. This created a lot of anger and resentment among the women that resulted in a mob-like mentality. Despite that these women knew they were not of the initial 20 invited to come to the medical clinic, they were so very desperate to receive assistance for themselves and/or their children that they were willing to claim to be one of their neighbors in order to get a spot on the bus. Because the World Food Programme was distributing food that very day, and because the 20 women we invited to come were of the most vulnerable of the interviewees, we learned that they were not willing to give up receiving their food ration for the week that day, to go to the medical clinic in Lukodi. Instead, their friends acted on their behalf claiming to be one of the women who was on our list, but choose to remain behind in order to receive their ration of food.

Brittany and I decided that despite the time it wouold take, we would have to dig through all of our papers to select each woman’s interview and ask specific questions, such as, ‘what village did you come from prior to moving to this IDP camp?’ in order to verify id the ‘Akello Milly Grace’, was actually who she claimed to be. Despite the time consuming process that it was, we learned that of the 20 women requested for that morning, only three actually showed up.

In the end we ended up filling up our vans to capacity with both the initial three women as well as a remaining 17 others and their children who were the most sick or injured of the remaining 47 women nearly mobbing us down to the ground.

The desperation of these women for assistance is real. It is intense, and it is dis-heartening. The government of Uganda claims to be willing to provide free medical care to the IDP’s currently living in the camps, however, the long-time problem remains, seldom are the drugs such as malaria medications, and antibiotics available to be distributed. The stocks are kept very low, and usually snatch up immediately by the needing members of the camps, just as soon as they arrive in.

There are many stories from this week, many…

One of them is as follows:

Just after arriving to the medical clinic in Lukodi with two vans full of women from Unyama village, I stepped out of the van, assisted the women and their children out of the van and began to compile various interviews in preparation to hand of the papers to those at the registration desks. As I was busy with my head in the papers, a young man approached me, asking if he could speak with me for a moment. Knowing I was in a time crunch, I requested the man wait for me to finish my current project. In the meantime I observed him, while I was finishing sorting the papers. He was over by a tree, waiting for my return, praying. Something in me promoted me to find him as soon as I finished my task. In doing so, I approached him and requested to hear his story. This man named Simon, who is 25 years old, is married to a young woman named Agnes who is 23 years old. Agnes was abducted at the age of 17 and lived in the bush for close to two years. After her return home, she married Simon and they now have a beautiful little one and a half year old daughter named Akello Mercy. Within six months after Agnes arrived home from the bush, she began having unexplained episodes of anxiety and bizarre behaviors that have continued to manifest in her life over the last few years. Finally after seeing a medical professional, Agnes was diagnosed with some form of psychosis disorder.

As a result, when Agnes experiences an episode of psychosis, she feels an urgent need to begin running away from anything the lives, moves or breathes. This results in her running for hours and hours at a time, within her own village. Also accompanied with this urge to run is the taste of blood in her mouth, images of killing people and /or dead people, an unexplained smell of burning flesh and the desire to kill both her daughter and husband. Agnes had been given medications to help balance out her moods and behaviors, however, due to a lack of finances, Simon was unable to provide both the medicines as well as necessary transport to the medical facilities for her weekly injections. This ended up creating a severe relapse for Agnes. When I met Simon that day, I knew I needed to help however I could.

I needed for Simon to get me the name of the medicines that Agnes needed, the problem was that they were located in her mothers village, nearly 60 kilometers away. Transportation and finances were an issue. I told Simon that he would have to work this out on his own, and that when he was able to get me the name of the medicines he needed for Agnes, I would look to see if we carried them in our supply at the clinic. I expected top see Simon back the following day, however, it was only five hours later that he returned to me, explaining that his family loaned him the transport money to take a boda boda to the village to get the name of the necessary drugs. Unfortunately we did not carry those medicines. I decided I would drive Simon back into town to meet with the doctors who were treating Agnes whenever she would go in for her weekly injections. The result of this meeting was that we were to bring Agnes to the hospital first thing in the morning. ( this was something he had been unable to do for some time now due to the distance from their camp in Cho-pee to the city of Gulu, as his wife was too weak to walk, let alone sit up by herself.

On the way home from the hospital we stopped to their hut to give her a dose of medicine that the doctor had given to us. Upon entering into their hut, I could instantly sense the desperation of Simon, as it became very apparent that Agnes was in very bad shape. I attempted to sit her up to give her the medications, but she could hardly swallow, let alone blink her eyes.

The next morning we arrived with one of our hired vans to pick up Agnes from her hut. Carried by both her husband and brother, Agnes laid limp in their arms. Agnes’ mother, auntie and daughter accompanied her and her husband to the hospital, where they have remained since taking them 8 days ago.

Agnes has a condition of severe posttraumatic stress syndrome and is suffering greatly from the mental images, sounds, tastes and smells of killing, death, dying, blood, and fires. Even when on the medications to mellow her mind, calm her behaviors and balances her emotions, the medicines make it very difficult for her to eat or swallow liquids. It is quite a trade-off. At this point, Agnes is still focusing on the physical rehabilitation, before the emotional, mental and spiritual healing can come.

This is a simple story shared with you to reveal to you the realities of the impact of this war. Simply because LRA is not currently actively terrorizing, the young children are no longer commuting from their IDP camps and villages to sleep under the verandas of churches and other NGO’s, and people are able to now walk freely on the streets without fear of further LRA attacks, does not mean that the people of northern Uganda are ‘free’. The situations they are now forced to live in – in the overly crowded IDP camps rampant with diseases, lack of food and water, the effects of child headed house-holds, children who return from the bush to find that their parents and many siblings have been killed by the LRA in addition to have had their homes burnt to the ground, indicate the need for long-term reconciliation, rehabilitation and reintegration back into a healthy society.

For people like Agnes, the services are few to assist her on the journey to health and healing. There are many Agnes’ out there, many more then the current assistance level can provide for. This is where Child Voice International comes into play, this is where prayer can be shown to be the powerful tool that it is. Please continue to pray for the people of northern Uganda that peace, would one day be known not just in their physical lives, but even more importantly, in their spirits.

Conrad Mandsager, director of ChildVoice International was given the use of the medical clinic by the government of Uganda in exchange for renovating and preparing the facilities. Conrad was able to find funding from America to keep this clinic open indefinitely. Despite that the medical team from America has returned back to America, the clinic will resume again for the IDP’s beginning next week, after the interview processes are complete this weekend.

Tae, (designer of the interview forms for the child mothers), will remain in Gulu through the beginning of August and will be overseeing the functioning of the clinic throughout this time. Tae is responsible for the interviewing and hiring of the local Ugandan medical professionals that will staff the clinic, in addition to many other various responsibilities. This is a tremendous blessing for ChildVoice to have the opportunity to utilize this building as a medical clinic, as well as to have the very hard working and committed Tae be willing to oversee the beginning phases of this clinic.

Acen Brittany has left for America two days ago. It is now just I.
Poor, Apio, who is Apio without Acen?

Nevertheless, I remain well and continue to be very busy finishing up the various projects I am working on. Last week, Brittany and I went on an 8 hour (very rough and tightly packed) bus ride down to Soroti where we spent one and a half days together before she departed Soroti for Kampala in order to fly back to America. I remained in Soroti for another two and a half days, enabling me to finish up the project we were working on, before returning back to Gulu two nights ago. *(I will write up about my time in Soroti in another posting, it is worth it’s own space apart from this story)!* I spent all of yesterday in bed recovering from some unknown illness that produced various stages of nauseasness, fever – chills, headache. Despite waking up this morning without any symptoms other then the headache, I got a nice scare when I looked into the mirror to see that my blue eyes are now more red then blue… thanks to the lovely pink eye infection.

And the last little story to share with you this morning is that of how I attempted to remedy my pink-eye issue. Knowing I would not be wearing my contacts today, I got out my glasses which I seldom wear due to them not fitting very well on my head. At home I know I can use a blow dryer to warm the plastic to mold it to form my head again after continuous wear stretches the frames causing them to be very loose. I do not have a blow dryer here, so I considered the next best option – the propane stove used to boil water. I turned that baby on and proceeded to carefully warm the plastic nose bridge of my glasses in order to bend them back into shape. Oops. As the nose bridge was warming, the top right side of my frame was not burning, but bubbling, actually boiling… ! I did not realize that the frame was exactly where it was over the flame. Needless to say, I have very unique and eccentric frames that will now be held together with duct tape in order to hold the right lens in the frame.

Pink eye and boiled glasses…

I am not sure how long I will remain in Gulu before proceeding on in this journey. I will remain here for sure until I finish up the various projects I have begun. I have a couple of interviews yet to conduct with different NGO’s, a few individuals to follow up on – all of whom are in different villages, four sets of friends I must re-united with (large families – this can day an entire day each!) I will be delivering the doors that are now completed to the IDP camp of Lukodi tomorrow, as well as finishing up organizing the interview forms - arranging them in appropriate order assisting Tae with inputting the data into a computer program, locating the women of the four villages who did not show up the first time around for the medical exams in attempts request their visit to the medical clinic for exams, as well as anything else I can assist Tae in doing regarding her various responsibilities.

From Gulu I may or may not (depending upon how long it takes me to finish up here in Gulu) return to Soroti in order to assist more at the medical clinic I was working with while there last week, as well as take a side trip to a village that would enable me to meet the mother and siblings of a very special friend named Mary, in addition to visit a large orphanage enabling me to conduct another important interview. Regardless of going to Soroti, I will go to Kampala for approximately one week where I will spend time with a 21 year old named Simon whom I sponsor to complete his education. I will also be meeting up with representatives from various NGO’s in order to continue necessary interviews as well as network in order to leave Uganda with the appropriate information needed to write up specific proposals I will be working on, presentations Brittany and I will be putting together in order to inform others about the current situations faced in Northern Uganda, as well as around the world concerning Internally Displaced Peoples, Child Soldiers and the importance of the 3 R’s; Reconciliation, Rehabilitation and Reintegration and how as a networking team of humans we can assist in these necessary processes around the world, from the very places we live in America.

After leaving Kampala, I will fly to Addis Ababa, Ethiopia where I will meet up with my girlfriend Catherine Miller who has started up an orphanage in Woliso – about an hours drive from the capital. I will be there for a week to visit with she and her husband – Estiphanos, the children of the orphanage as well as experience a bit of the Ethiopian culture, which I have concluded is entirely different from that of Ugandan culture!
From Ethiopia that plan stands now that I will return to America via London – where I will stay one or two nights with a friend. From London, I will fly to Seattle, take a bus to Whitefish where I will visit my long-time much missed friend, Jamie Anderson before driving 20 minutes away to stay with Acen Brittany and her family! Here Brittany and I will put together a presentation complete with our African music, slideshow, and stories with the aim to share with others the unique and rich experiences that you have all been a part of assisting us in making possible. From Montana, Brittany will accompany me home to Sitka where she will receive the opportunity to meet my family and friends, and provide for you Sitkans a most fabulous presentation of the experiences we’ve had together in Uganada.

I am continuously torn – I love my family, my friends, summer in Alaska, etc. and yet, I am exactly where I have dreamed of being since I was ten years old – in Africa, living with, learning from, assisting however I can, and being an advocate on behalf of those who cannot speak out for themselves.

Thank you all so much. So very very much. My time here has been rich, and it would not have been possible without each one of you supporting me either financially, spiritually and/or emotionally and mentally.

I do miss you.

Yes, I miss you too Acen! (I cannot go anywhere Acen without people saying, “Poor Apio, Apio is lonely without Acen!)


Love from the “Extraordinary team of Apio and Acen – from Africa and America”!

She Gave It All She Had

His Lord said to him,
"Well done, good and faithful servant;
you were faithful over a few things,
I will make you ruler over many things.
Enter into the joy of your lord."
(Matthew 25:2)
God gave to me a gift of life
to cherish, not to waste...
I’ve made the choice to live it well,
(not squander it in haste.)

The years go by so quickly now,
I long to make a mark...
to leave behind a legacy,
from this journey I embark.

I pray that all I do today
will have eternal worth...
and shine the light of Christ in me,
while traveling on this earth.

When all at once I’m called away,
to my final resting pad...
I pray they’ll say,
“She did her best, she gave it all she had.”

Since checking my email after nearly five days, I have received many messages in my in-box expressing concern regarding my safety and overall wellbeing. I apologize for the long lapse in time in providing you an update!

On the 3rd of June a medical team from America traveling with ChildVoice International arrived here in Gulu. Since their arrival it has been a spectacular time of conducting medical assessments on approximately 140 people per day (men, women and the child-mothers and their children). As time does not allow I will expound more on these events soon.

Overall my health is well, though I still have bouts of fatique and very nice quality headaches...malaria just really is not much fun!

The medical team leaves on Monday to head back to America, and Acen Brittany and I leave on Sunday morning to Soroti. In Soroti we will be distributing over 600 dollars worth of medical supplies donated by personal donors from America to IDP's of the Obuku IDP camp. We will do this on Monday. Tuesday Brittany will bus to Kampala and I will return to Gulu where I will remain for some time yet.

I am alive and well, learning a lot, growing heaps and continuing to be daily humbled while developing in perseverance.

Much love to you and as I mentioned before I am very excited to have time to give you a more thorough update!

"Life is action and passion; therefore, it is required of a man that he should share the passion and action of the time, at peril of being judged not to have lived."
-- Oliver Wendell Holmes, Sr. from my friend J.W.

Children from the village of Lukodi.

An example of a an interviewing scenario. This photo was taken yesterday during the last interview I conducted.

FINISHED

And it was Finished.

Yes, indeed, the 300 child-mother surveys conducted on behalf of ChildVoice International by the ‘Extraordinary Team of Cushing and Brendsel’, aka Apiyo Rebekah and Acen Brittany, is FINISHED!

After many beautiful, warm and dusty boda boda (motorcycle) rides out to the villages of Lacoe, Layibi, Unyama and Lukodi where Acen Brittany and I, along with our translators, conducted these interviews within the Internally Displaced Persons (IDP) camps; the first phase of the interviews is complete. While the work was at times exhausting, the opportunity to hear first hand the stories of these young women was very stimulating.

For example, the following is a story I heard first hand from a 20 year old woman whom I will call Akello Grace. (The name of the subject of this story has been changed in order maintain confidentiality). Akello Grace is an Acholi woman born in 1985 in Lapete, Uganda. She was raised with both her parents and five younger siblings, and claims that they were a very close-knit family.

Although Akello Grace has never been married, she does raise, by herself, seven children. Four of these children are her younger siblings, the other three are her own. In 1996 the Lords Resistance Army attacked her home village of Lapete, raiding gardens for food, and killing everyone possible in the process. Although Akello Grace managed to survive the attack, she, along with her parents and older brother, was abducted by the LRA.

Akello Grace’s first evening in the bush was, in her words, “the most terrifying.” The LRA forces its abductees to carry heavy loads of food (which is often stolen from homes and gardens in the midst of attacks) and ammunition. With this responsibility of carrying the heavy loads, comes an incredibly difficult life or death rule to abide by. After being assigned your load of food or ammunition to carry you are expected to be able to walk and even run through the jungles and rocky paths without dropping any of the assigned items. (An example of a ‘load of food’ is as follows: For a boy you are measured from your waist to your feet, whatever the measurement is will be the identical measurement of the sack filled with beans that the boy will be required to carry on the top of his head, in addition to sacks of cassava on the forearms and guns draped around his front and back.) If you are caught having dropped any of your assigned items to carry, or you are caught falling down, immediately an LRA rebel will run over to you to give you a canning with a metal bicycle chain until you get back up on your feet again with your original items in hand, otherwise he may hit you with a ponga (machete’), cut you up with an axe, take a shovel to the head or bite you to death. The least painful and most desired of ways to be killed by the LRA is by gunshot, however, my research so far has revealed this is not a commonly used method of death. Usually death in the LRA involves much torture.

It was during broad daylight when the rebels invaded her village. After setting many huts in the village including her families hut on fire, destroying nearly every personal garden/property in attempts to raid for food, and killing many people, (including hacking to death with an axe her fifteen year old brother) in the process; the captured citizens of her village, including herself and parents, marched into the forests with the LRA.

After having been given their allotment of items to carry Akello Grace and her family began traversing the thick jungle terrain without any idea what was in store ahead of them. Both of Akello Graces’ parents took a fall at the same time due to tripping over an overgrown tree root that stuck out of the ground.

Because her parents were the first to fall to the ground, the LRA rebels decided to use them as a central lesson to the rest of the newly abducted rebels. Akello Grace shared with me that immediately after her parents fell, there were four LRA rebels that ran over to them and pinned them to the ground, not even allowing them a chance to get up on their own. Then two more rebels arrived with axes. Akello Grace was held at gunpoint with instructions not to run away, not to cry and not to move, while she stood watching her parents hacked to death with an axe. She was eventually instructed to take an axe from one of the rebels and complete the death of both parents. Out of shear fear, trauma and terror, she did. This marked day one of seven years that Akello Grace spent living in the bush with the LRA Army. Abducted at age 12, Akello Grace spent nearly the next 2,550 days traveling back and forth by foot from Uganda to Sudan with the LRA.

Akello Grace explained to me how in the bush, if you are abducted as a young woman, you are handed over to an old man, and if you are an older woman, you are given over to a young man. These men then have their ways with the women, abusing them physically, emotionally and sexually. Polygmy is widely practiced in this culture. Over the course of the seven years in the bush, Akello Grace gave birth to three children, two girls and a boy. These children are still young, all under the age of seven. They have no father figure in their lives as the men who had raped Akello Grace were of age and have since died in the bush. (Not that these men were ever of a father figure to her children while she was living in the bush). Grace was considered ‘married’ to three different men, and each man had between 10-27 wives at one given time,

When I inquired about how these men treated her while she was under their authority, she removed a portion her skirt to reveal to me the scars on her leg that will forever remind her of the previous painful events of her past. One day a bomb that was planted by other members of the LRA exploded right next to her right leg. With many fragments of shrapnel fragments impeded into her leg, she no longer had a knee. With no medical facilities in the field it is of wonder how she made it through this ordeal alive. She explained that after returning back to her man that evening, she received a canning by him that left her nearly dead. She then lifted up her shirt to reveal her back to me. This was a sight that one can hardly explain. This man was drunk at the time, and angry that she was “stupid enough to walk into a bomb”, as Akello Grace stated. Also, on her left leg were scars of being beat with a ponga by a different man whose child she bore after accidently spilling the glass of water she was delivering to him. These scars were laced around the four scars from the entry and exit wounds of two gunshots she received to her lower left calf. Another example of torture and abuse that Akello Grace sustained is when one of these men whose child she bore became angry at her about something (of which I did not catch onto throughout the interview) and had the intent to kill her the same way she was instructed to ‘officially’ kill her parents; with an axe to the head. As Akello Grace looked up and saw the axe coming down towards her she instantly moved her body and shielded her head with her forearm. The man came close to his target of her head, but missed and instead sliced off a part of her elbow. But, at least she was still alive, as she was close to six months pregnant at this time!

Akello Grace spent close to seven months more in the bush after delivering her last born child. Her flight took place during the middle of an attack on a village. Akello Grace along with one other woman (who helped her to carry her children) were able to make a very risky escape. It took a total of three days before Akello Grace, her three children and her friend managed to find safety from the bush.

After finding a hut in a field on day, they dared to approach the hut and share their story with the residents living there. Although the family of this hut was somewhat hesitant to be helping ‘child rebels of the LRA’ they agreed to hand these escapees over to the Uganda Peoples Defense Force (Army Force of Uganda). The UPDF then took Akelo Grace, her children and her friend to World Vision, an NGO which has a strong program with the intent of rehabilitating former abductees, teaching them how to successfully re-integrate back into society through means of counseling, art and music therapy and physical re-conditioning (as many abductees are severely malnourished) amongst other things.

After spending three months in this center, Akello Grace was re-united with her aunt and uncle who were looking after her younger brothers and sisters in the IDP camp of Unyama, a small village outside of Gulu. For seven years Akello Grace dreamed of returning home to her familiar family and friends. She dreamed of a life of community, re-establishing relationships and going back to school to gain an education, she was unprepared for the shock she would endure upon her arrival to her family.

This entry will be continued tomorrow...

(A small glimpse of the IDP camp of Lukodi with the hill in the background where the government troops are stationed)

Because of the brutally long 20 year insurgency between the Lords Resistance Army and the United Peoples Defense Force (UPDF – Ugandan Army), thousands upon thousands of northern Ugandan citizens have been displaced from their homes, most of them living in the harsh conditions of overcrowded Internally Displaced Persons (IDP) camps. Peace talks are currently underway between the conflicting groups, however, due to continuous delays of a confirmed resolution, most IDP’s are unable or unwilling to return home to their original villages out of fear that the rebels may re-attack.

Throughout this last month of my stay in Northern Uganda, Acen Brittany and I have had the opportunity to visit many IDP camps. It is either directly in, or very near these camps where we are conducting these interviews of formerly abducted child-mothers. Already we have interviewed over 200 young women in the villages of Lacoe, Layibi, Unyama and Lukodi, in addition to Gulu town where we are based.

While visiting the village of Lukodi for the first time two Sundays ago, (May 20, 2007) the village (camp) director shared with us a very disturbing current situation some of the members of this IDP community face. As we walked through this camp of over 300 huts – each with approximately 8-10 people living per hut, Simon shared with us that of the 300 + huts in this camp, 31 homes do not have actual doors in place to protect themselves, or their homes. Because of the dire situations in these IDP camps, there are very few sources of income for families, resulting in an inability to obtain these necessary means of protection. As a result, nearly every evening, the UPDF who are stationed on a hill overlooking the city of Lukodi, retreat down the hill into the camp and enter into every hut that does not have a door. These army men, whose job is to deploy every evening to surround the village of Lukodi to prevent potential outside attacks, often spend their evenings taking advantage of the many young women who live in these ‘door-less’ huts. Every one of the 31 huts without doors is a home to at least one, but often times more then one child mother.


(A very young child mother from Lukoti Camp)

These young women (and families) live in a continuous state of fear. They cannot help but wonder if once again that evening, they will be used, abused and then left to wonder if they are pregnant again, or perhaps infected with HIV/AIDS or some other form of sexually transmitted disease. Because the UPDF is considered their source of ‘protection’, these women fear to let this situation be known to any type of law enforcements. Many women have shared with me that the army men tell them that if they tell anyone that they are raping the women, both themselves and their families will be killed.

Because so many of you have been such a huge blessing in my life by providing your prayers and financial support I have been able to be here in Gulu, Uganda to hear first hand the stories of these young women. Some of these child mothers I speak with are only 16 and 17 years old, some were conceived, born and raised in the bush, indoctrinated with the LRA’s philosophies throughout their lives, impregnated and delivered their own children in the bush, and finally after 15-18 years in the bush managed to escape, some with and others without their own children making it out alive with them. Others were never abducted, but still witnessed the atrocious attacks carried out on their family members, friends and neighbors, were threatened with death and many times raped and ended up pregnant.

Whether they were born in the midst of this war, or before the war began, the people of Northern Uganda and specifically the child mothers I am working with, have known nothing but physical, sexual, emotional and spiritual abuse, death of multiple family members, friends and neighbors, destruction of personal property and lived a life filled with trauma and fear.

Acen Brittany and I, having the desire to assist in this situation, have prayed and discussed this situation in the Lukodi IDP camp. Project Director for ChildVoice International – Richard, assisted us in the investigation process by walking literally, door to door, of every single hut in the camp. He gathered the names of those who do not have doors on their homes and took down any relevant information. This is how we came up with the figure of the 31 homes out of 300 huts that need doors for protection of themselves and belongings.

Ironically, God designed yet another divine appointment where we met a man, the brother of the father of the household Acen and I slept at overnight in one of our previous blog entries. This man, also named Richard, owns a construction company called Bench Mark Construction Company. Richard is a 31 year-old very hard working individual with a sincere passion to assist the people of his own country begin to re-establish themselves back to their home villages etc. Upon obtaining the necessary amount of money for the costs of these doors, Richard will be able to begin working immediately to buy the materials needed (iron sheets, hinges etc.) and begin the construction of the doors. It is also our desire to buy pad locks for each one of these doors as an extra means of protection for these families.

Below is the cost breakdown of the doors and the padlocks.

25,000 Ugandan Shillings per door
31 doors
775,000 Ugandan Shillings or $466.87

7,000 Ugandan Shillings per Padlock
31 Padlocks
217,000 shillings or $130.72 US

The approximate exchange rate (which fluctuates frequently) is 1660 shillings per 1 US dollar.

Transportation of the completed doors to the IDP Camp – 55,000 shillings
Machine Costs – 45,000
Labor Costs – 127,500

The total cost of this project is $734.64 US

If you desire to contribute financially to this project with any amount of money, in order to assist these young women and their families obtain doors and padlocks for their homes to provide protection for themselves and their families, you can! By writing a check out to ChildVoice International with a note in the envelope stating that this money is for the construction of the doors in the Lukodi IDP camp headed up by Acen Brittany and Apiyo Rebekah and sending it to the address below, you will receive a receipt from ChildVoice International for a tax write off. ChildVoice International is a recognized NGO.

Even if you are unable to or do not desire to contribute at this time, your prayers are very valued amongst these women. I have had a few women ask me specifically to “ask the people in America to pray for us”.

Please know that these women/families are not any different then you or I. They all have dreams that they could one day live in a safe home, attend school to learn to read and write, or learn a trade such as catering, salon work, learn about business or computers, yet due to the war as well as a lack of funds to pay for school fees, many of them have never made it past the American equivalent of 3rd grade. By taking one step at a time, placing one foot in front of the other, I believe we can begin by providing for the physical safety of these women and progress to working with them to develop spiritually, emotionally/mentally and intellectually – allowing them a deeper understanding of what the love of Jesus really means.

The address for ChildVoice International is :

ChildVoice International
174 Gile Road, Suite 10
Nottingham, NH 03290

(603) 842-0132

www.childvoiceintl.org

Thank you very much for taking the time out to read through this request as you have. These women have few advocating on their behalf, therefore, in any way that we can expose the darkness of their lives to light – enabling the healing process to begin, we want to do. If you have any ideas, suggestions etc. let us know! Thank you again.

Apiyo Rebekah and Acen Brittany

SOME THOUGHTS

Malaria seems to suck the physical life out of its victims.
However, it provides great opportunities to contemplate upon and choose to enhance the spiritual life!

Funny how even when you take your Malaria pills without missing a dose, it is possible for one to contract the disease. I am embracing every moment in Africa, even while experiencing the chills and hot flashes of the fevers, the aching joints of my body and the swirling headaches which come and go. Truthfully!

I do not enjoy being sick, but God continues to do a work in and through me, and more likely then not - this is His way of slowing me down enough to hear HIs voice a little more clearly. It is not hard for me to get caught up in DOING rather then BEING, and it has been a good last couple of days of illness to get me to slow down and listen, to "be still, and KNOW that He is God."

In the mornings when Brittany and I do some time of Bible reading, prayer and reflection together, we share about the ways we are being stretched, challenged and the ways in which we see ourselves growing. This morning was an extra long session of conversation for us. I found myself sharing with Brittany that I feel as though God has brought me into a new area of life that I have not been before. Previous to this trip I have been flopping around like a live halibut fresh off of longline gear - fipping and flopping around the deck of the boat. In some ways that is what I have been like - flipping to one opportunity and flopping to the next.

I recognize that this in and of itself is not a bad thing. However, I have come to realize more so now then ever, the importance of my life. The importance of your life. The importance of our lives is immeasurable.

It is true that this life is unjust, unfair, and difficult most days to understand. But the beauty in this lies the element available to everone of us called FAITH. By faith we are able to trust that God will always work out good, for His glory, what the enemy ment for harm. By faith we are able to conclude that Jesus has allowed every beautiful and painful, challenging and exciting event in our lives, allowing us the opportunity to grow and develop into more mature individuals, enabling us to live life on deeper, more rich level.

Sometimes I feel as though I have World War One, World War Two, and Vietnam all fighting against themselves within my own head, and this can become quite agonizing. So many thoughts running through my head at one time; ideas, visions, dreams, thoughts... I do not enjoy all of these times of emotional overwhelm, but it does provide me the continuous opportunity to "be still, and KNOW that He is God".

I love the analogy of Peter walking on water towards Jesus... as long as Peter kept his eyes on Jesus, he was safe upon the water, but as the story reveals, the moment Peter became worried about the storm surrounding him, he began to sink...

The minute I loose sight of Jesus in my life and become concerned with the 'storms' (outside events which are out of my own control) in my life, I begin to sink.

The fact that I am still alive today, remains a mystery to me. In my own mind I believe it to be a miracle. I did not expect to live this long. I believe that God has a very specific reason for the creation of my being, as He does each and every one of us. This trip is clarifying for me in a very real way that I am valuable, that God really can use me in this world to reveal to others the beauty of embracing His love. As I am continuously humbling myself in repentance and asking for and choosing to recieve His GRACE and His MERCY, this reality is becoming clearly more evident to m. Yes, God will use even Rebekah Cushing, a long-time Alaskan fisherman who really has few skills other then chopping bait, baiting hooks and cleaning Halibut, to be an integral part of His divine plan. The more unworthy I feel to be His servant, the more clearly I understand and choose to embrace this concept of grace and mercy. The more I embrace these concepts, the more free I am to live the abundant life that He desires we all live.

All of that said to come back to my original point, God is preparing for me something beautiful. And He says we are to seek, ask, and to knock and the door will be opened, he says he wants to give us the desires of our heart...

As I have been asking, seeking and knocking (trying hard not to plow the door down) and as I have been dreaming big and choosing to not settle for the immediate gratification of things, I am finding God developing within me direction, desire and, could it be? Quite Possibly? that He is delivering to me some of these dreams and desires of my heart? (!)

This blog entry does not flow, I know. Sorry about that - whoever has read this much... But it is the current scenario of the thoughts that consume my days. This entry reveals to you not the activities and experiences (which will have to be an entire series written before I can give you all of these stories) of my days in Africa, but it does reveal what God is doing in me, and the ways in which I am being impacted by the experiences and the journeys I have been on.

Thank you all for your love and support in my life. I am so blessed, because I have people like you who have kept me going during the times I did not think I could. I am so glad I did.

"Rebekah, it's time to kill the chicken!"

Yesterday as I was resting up from this Malaria spell, reading an ever so interesting read of 'Research Methods in Psychology' (required reading for a University class) I heard Josephine, (a woman who works at the little hotel Brittany and I stay in), call out to me, "Rebekah, it's time to kill the chicken!"

I got myself off the bed and prepared to prepare the evenings meal. This meal was for a family, including the extended family members, who would be returning home from the official ending of the four day funeral service. The funeral was held in Gulu for the brother of the man who owned the hotel, Royal Inn, where we stay.

LONG, long... story short: I visited the this family a few days prior to say my condolences as I had befriended the owner and his brother Okedi prior to this event. When I arrived at the large gathering, I had been introduced as 'Okedi's friend' to all of the relatives (at least 50 in number) at the home.

Okedi is from Gulu but has lived in London for the last 20 years. Because he had not been back to Gulu or with his family members for such a long time, his family was under the impression that I was Okedi's wife from London! I did not know this until after I returned home and was informed in the morning! Okedi shared with me the following morning that after I had left his families house that evening, the women of the home approached him and inquired as to why I had arrived and left without preparing food.

In this culture, it is expected that I would prepare a meal for the entire event as a way of introducing myself to the family, if I was indeed the wife of Okedi. This reveals to the family the wifes ability to provide for his husband, both in servitude as well as in cooking abilities. It is extremely radical that a "wife" of a "married" Ugandan man would show up at his parents house for such an event, meet the entire family and leave without preparing food.

After Okedi shared this news with me, the five of us that were sitting together throughout this story were laughing hysterically! As we calmed down, the conversation shifted as one of the elders that was with us at the time suggested that I still prepare a meal for the family. This resulted in me learning to cook an acceptable Acholi meal. Josphine, the all poruse hotel staff member was given money to buy a chicken, vegetables, oil and salt and given instructions to teach me how to properly kill, pluck, cook and serve an Acholi Chicken dinner. This was a lovely adventure!

Unfortunatly my internet time is out and I must go now. I will provide the fun details of this story a little later on. In the meantime, know that I am well, despite Malaria and do not want anyone to be worried. I am in good hands between Brittany and the hotel staff!

Much love to you all!

To the one who sent me an anonymous message requesting the make of my hearing aid:

It is STARKEY, and the color of it is blue.

FROM ANOTHER PERSPECTIVE

I recieved an email this morning from a very special and real friend. This person sums up my experiences in a way that I would not be able to write to you about from my perspective. However I wanted to share it with you as it reveals the realities of my day to day living here in Gulu, Uganda. - Thank you my friend, who sent me this email...

It is as follows:

Hi !

I make my attempt in each word I write to find words that can uplift your day, maybe even help you see the sun bursting through the sadness of all those children and ladies who have had so much pain and sorrow in their life. We as humans never really can appreciate what sorrow others must deal with till we are faced with the reality of their story. Those humans who have the patience to have their EARS’ just listen, the soft VOICE to speak kindness and support as their pure HEART allows them to feel the pain of others, is a phenomenal gift from God. I can only imagine how hard it must be on you to hear of the sorrow and pain that has torn through the life of these loving humans, that you mingle with daily, learning of their culture and presenting who you are to them. God has always given humans the greatest protection in the face of fear, sorrow and pain… LOVE

When humans allow HATE to replace LOVE is when we fail as humans. I pray you continue to spread your LOVE, God be with you.


One word frees us

Of all the weight and pain in life,

That word is Love

~ Socrates ~



Dream Big Dream Often

Details are hard to share when there are so very many of them.

We (Acen Brittany and I) have been continuously busy beginning with interviewing women from 9 am through 4pm Monday through Firday. This is an incredibly wonderful opportunity, and highly draining. Upon arrival in a village 15-20 minutes away from Gulu by boda boda (motorcycle), near the Unyama Pakwelo Primary School where we are conducting the surveys, there are on average 40-50 women waiting for us.

These women are determined.

They want so desperatly to be interviewed in the event that possibly they could qualify for some assistance through the NGO ChildVoice International whom we are conducting surveys for. They are arriving at sunrise in order that they can ensure for themselves an interview for that day.

This is challenging for Brittany and I as we want so much to interview every woman who arrives that day, but, after seven hours straight, of sitting on bamboo mats in a very warm, dusty, empty brick room interviewing one woman literally, after another without a break; by 4 o'clock in the evening, it is nearly impossible to conduct one more survey with a clear and focused mental status. The emotional aspect of these surveys is intense, as is the interaction between the women and ourselves.

For example, yesterday I interviewed a 19 year old woman who was abducted by the Lords Resistance Army at the age of 12. She lived in the bush for 5 years. Got pregnant by a very old general in the bush, who has since died, and gave birth to a beautiful little girl named Proscia. She is now 4 years old. After arriving back from the bush, her parents rejected her return because she has a 'bush' baby. They now deny her existance. Since then Concy has had a second child, but was left alone once again by the father of her second child after learning that Concey's daughter Proscia was born in the bush. SHe is now on her own, ostracized from her family, as well as by many members of the IDP camp she lives in, attempting her best to provide for her two children. The stories all vary, but the underlining principle remains the same, those who have been affected by this war continue to live in very intense emotional, physical, mental, and spiritual states. Despite that the peace talks are currently in progress between the Lords Resistance Army, Sudan and Uganda, even if they are successful, there remains a tremendous need here in Northern Uganda. That need is the ministry of Rehabilitation, Reconciliation and Re-integration of those affected by this 20 plus year long war. Love, faith and time.

Tonight after reading an email from a friend of mine, I was inspired to share with you a few of the words he shared with me, those words are as follows...

"The words to a song by Whitney Houston ( You were Loved ) is meant as a love song to a special person, but the words really do carry a meaning meant for all us humans, when we look back on our life and what footprints did we leave on ALL those around us."

We all want to make a place in this world
We all want our voices to be heard
Everyone wants a chance to be someone
We all have dreams we need to dream
Sweeter than any star you can reach
Is when you reach and find you have found someone
You'll hold this worlds most priceless thing
The greatest gift this life can bring
Is when you look back and know
You were loved

You were loved by someone
Touched by someone
Held by someone
Meant something to someone
Loved somebody
Touched someones heart along the way
You can look back and say
You were loved
Yes you were, now

You can have diamonds in the hands
Have all the riches in the land
But without love you don't really have a thing
When somebody cares that your alive
When somebody trusts you with their life
That’s when you know
That is when you have all you need
You hold this worlds most priceless gift
The finest treasure that there is
You can look back and know
You were loved

So many roads that you can take
Whatever way you go
Don't take that road alone
Its better you should know...
So remember to tell that special one
You are loved...are loved...you are loved.

There are thousands and thousands of priceless beautiful spirits to love surrounding me daily here in Africa. Apparently, this is why I am exhausted come the end of the day... I cannot seem to love enough. The joy that spreads across the faces of elderly woman when I wave and blow kisses to them, the radiant smiles the little kids display when shaking their hand and pulling them in for a hug... these children may not have much by way of material standards, but they surely are rich as they posses a love so pure, so real. In giving what love and acceptance to the children and adults of this country that I can, I have been given back abundantly more love on an incredibly rich and deep level.

Acen Brittany and I completed the first 16 of 300 interviews with formerly abducted child-mothers and their children. It is now 12:15 AM, May 12th, 2007 in Gulu, Uganda. Yesterday Brittany and I completed the 16 interviews after having previously completed 24 interviews in a separate village called Lacoe. The previous 24 interviews were a part of a pilot survey we conducted in order to smooth out any flaws in the first go around of the survey. We sent back to America our suggestions and concerns to the Tae, the creator of the survey and then waited for an email with the official final version of the survey enabling us to begin the official surveys. We received that email the evening before last, printed it out and made an additional 15 copies of the survey. We called all of the imperative people, our translators and the man in charge of arranging the set up of the girls from the IDP camps, and made arrangements to meet up at 8:15 Friday morning. In order to get the village by 8:45, enabling us to begin surveys by 9:00 am.

Brittany and I could do nothing but laugh a semi nervous laugh as we realized by 8:30 am the following morning, that the chances of a mis-communication regarding correct timing of our meeting each other to take boda boda’s to the village of Layibi, was indeed highly likely. Sure enough, we contacted Francis, our coordinator and throughout the course of a thirty second conversation, came to the conclusion that he had not arranged for our transportation. This was fine, it was not a problem to find our own boda boda, however, this meant that it would be a late start on our day, and potentially that we would not complete the amount of surveys we initially intended to deliver.

After another 30 minutes, Francis, Judith and Kevin (Kevin is a girls name in Uganda – Judith and Kevin are the names of our translators)


(Kevin is on the left, Judith on the right)

all met up with one another and ventured onwards to the village of Layibi. After a “succulent to the senses”, as I put it - 12 minute ride by boda boda through the most beautiful green, lush and dense tropical African countryside, we arrived at a primary school where we would conduct the interviews. Brittany and I arrived before our translators and Francis and found ourselves having paid our boda boda drivers, and being left in the middle of school grounds without an idea of where to go, or who to meet with. We both took a look at each other and decided to venture to what would appear to be an office.

Sure enough, we where greeted by two very kind gentlemen. One was the head schoolmaster and the other was the dean of the school. Brittany and I greeted ourselves as we are, Apiyo Rebekah and Acen (pronounced, ‘Achen’) Brittany, and took a seat on the sofa across from the head schoolmasters’ desk.

We ended up having an hour-long conversation with the schoolmaster and dean before the women even arrived to begin the interviews. By now it was close to 10:30 and we had not even begun the first survey! Oh, us Americans…desiring that things be done in a timely fashion! Indeed it is not the way things happen too often around here!

During our conversation with the schoolmaster and the dean, we learned two very important things. The first important thing being that every Ugandan name has a very specific meaning, such as Ocyia (pronounced ‘Ochia’). This word means ‘this baby was born as a miracle’. The name would be used for example similar to the following, ‘Ocyia Beatrice’. Or for another example, ‘Lawino’, this name literally means, ‘born with complications of the placenta’! The baby came out but the placenta did not – medical emergency. I must say, it was hysterical hearing this from the headmaster of the school - we were all laughing incredibly hysterically!

The second thing that we discussed as we waited for the women to show up was the difference between child soldiers that have returned from the bush who have entered back into their communities and specifically the public schools, and are now integrating with their friend who were never abducted - verses the child soldiers who return and go to specified school just for ex-child soldiers. We did not get to complete this conversation, however, what we did speak about was incredibly interesting.

We learned that the NGO Norwegian Refugee Council has taken it upon themselves to train all of the teachers in the village schools how to handle children that have returned from the bush. When the children return from the bush they can be extremely wild. Having these kids mixed in with kids who have never been in the bush can be quite a challenge, however, thanks to the Norwegian Refugee Council, the teachers have been adequately trained to deal with these children in such as way, that most of them make it well through the reintegration process in the school systems.

The country of Belgium founded a school here in Gulu that accepts up to 800 ex-child soldiers at a time. The children live in boarding school accommodations and are provided an entirely separate school syllabi then the traditional Ugandan public school system. This special school provides counseling and rehabilitation programs specific to the needs of the individual former child-soldier in addition to their education.


The women arrived at this point in our conversation. Brittany and I moved over to the schoolhouse where the formerly abducted child-mothers and their children were awaiting us. We began by introducing ourselves, the survey process followed by setting up our table and chairs under the large branches of mango trees (to remain out of the heat of the hot sun). We each interviewed one woman at a time until we had completed 16 interviews. I worked with Judith as my interpreter and Brittany had Kevin translating for her. It took us on average about 45 minutes to complete each survey. I will discuss the process of the surveys, my feelings and thoughts at a later time, but know in the meantime that this will process will be very beneficial to ChildVoice International in making important decision regarding the selection process of the first 45 girls and their children to enter into the pilot program – a sustainable community created for the rehabilitation of these former child-mothers and their children.

We ended the workday with an ooey gooey slimey mango facial party. It began with Kevin, Judith, Francis, Brittany and I sitting in a circle on chairs in the evening sunshine, surrounding a bucket of freshly picked mangos. As we began to eat these mangos, not one of us was without sticky orange mango juice streaming down our arms and smeared around our lips. The mangos here in Gulu taste to me, like a cross between a mango and a coconut. Absolutely delicious!
In a spirit of silliness and completely just kidding, I suggested that we all have mango facials – schmearing mango peels and pits all over our faces to moisturize our skin. I did not expect to be taken seriously, however, less then 10 seconds later I had mangos smeared all over my face and arms my no one other then my dear one Acen Brittany!

After visiting the UN and Unicef offices yesterday afternoon for the purposes of doing some exploratory research for a project proposal that Brittany and I are working on, we accidently found the local market. We were thrilled as we finally found green vegetables which we have not had in over a week! Here we bought our own traditional Ugandan paring knives used by those who peel their potatoes and cassava etc. so that we might have approprite knives to cut out mangos, tomatoes, onions etc. with. After being out for most of the day we ventured on towards home. Along the way two beautiful younger woman who were peeling potatoes and cassava next to their hut motioned for us to come over to them and we did. We began a dialoge which turned into an entire evening long visit. It was absolutely delightful!

First we were invited to peel the foods with them. Excitedly I piped up, "We have JUST the tools for that!" and Brittany and I each pulled out our knives and began peeling away throughout the course of intense and good conversation. After finishing the peeling we were invited to go into their home for tea and African cakes - small fried breads. The was a typical 8 oz. coffe mug of water tea leaves and the minimum of three tablespoons of raw sugar with the option to add more if needed...

We began to ask how to speak specific words in the Luo language (Languaeg spoken by the Acholi people) - this ended up with a three hour language lesson where we wrote words/phrases out in English and the translated and shared with us how to pronounce each word. We wrote it all down in our notebook and are now continually practicing. Brittany is absolutely amazing with languages and can speak very well already.

I, having difficulty hearing the conversation felt the need to explain to the group (by now there were two sisters, a beautiful, strong and powerful 23 year old married woman, mother of 5, her 5 children, the neighbors and their children as well as a few other unidentified individuals) why I continually had to have Brittany explain to me what they were saying. In doing so I took my hearing aids out and showed everyone these little magical mechanical devices which help me to hear so well. By the end of the evening nearly everyone recievd the opportunity to put a hearing in and try it out - they were so thrilled. None of them even knew such a device existed. In fact one person asked me if I was the only one in the world who had this problem!

Soon dinner was served, they washed our hands for us with water, and handed us bowls, motioning for us to serve ourselves. They eat with their fingers here, I fit right in! Dinner was the boiled cassava and potatoes with a g-nut and simsim sauce with dried eggplant and meat in the sauce. First I chose my piece of cassava and then some potatoe and poured a scoop of sauce in the bowl. Using my fingers I squished off a piece of potato and schmeared it in the sauce and promptly filled my mouth and licked my fingers. It was absolutely delicious! For desert they gave us FRESH honeycomb. They shared with me that for income they have a bee farm out in the village where they produce honey and market it. I sat and chewed the nummy sweet waxy honey comb as I observed the children taking photos of one another throughout the remainder of the evening. By close to 10 PM we finally had to leave as the gates of our hotel closed at 10 PM. Our new friends escorted us home by flashlight as the city power was out. We hugged and laughed and said good nights and thanked them immensly for the wonderful African hospitality, food and friendship.

Brittany and I each showered for the first time in a few days due to lack of water in Gulu, laid down in bed and did some very good girl talk until 2:00 in the morning. It was the best conversation we've had yet!

We continue to have many opportunities to invest in, experience and share. We aim to make the most of every minute. I only wish I had a little more time every day to write more. With that asid internet time is up and I must press send.

With all of our love,

Apiyo and Achen

WE ARE PERSONS OF GREAT COMPLEXITY AND ENORMOUS
POTENTIAL, THOUGHTFULLY AND DELIBERATLY FORMED
BY THE ALMIGHTY!!

May 7, 2007
8:32 PM
Gulu, Uganada Africa

Hot and sticky, a loud crowd of people enjoying a loud football game just down the way, oh the fan feels good, Africa is so good!

Mango strands stuck in my teeth…I write to you tonight.
I’ve eaten six mangos due to my ferocious appetite! (they’re pretty small!)

As I overview the last few days, I am concerned I will not be able to share the highlights of each day… so many things can happen in just one half a day, let alone four full days!

On Thursday Richard, Brittany and I arrived at the bus station downtown Kamapala at the main post office. I did not learn until the middle of the 8 hour journey that the bus we were on was actually owned by the government and acts in addition to a passenger bus, as the ‘mail truck’. This bus that transported us from Kampala to Gulu stopped at every post office in every town along the way to Gulu. The ride started out relatively uneventful, of course, in Africa they like the music loud…, no blasting, even at the wee hours of the 7 AM morning!

Brittany quickly went to sleep, head cradled into my rather famous, 13 year old teddy bear which accompanies me on every world-wide journey I endeavor on. Richard and I began a very informative dialogue and chatted most of the way until reaching a town where we took a quick stop to deliver and receive mail. We stopped, which was the usual expectation. However, when the big ol’ diesel engine turned back on, we were not advancing forward as to be expected, but rather we were backing up.

Within seconds of backing up, most of the occupants of the bus began muttering, almost as if they knew what was happening. I looked out the window to see a couple of police cars escorting our bus backwards. Once we came to a stop, immediately there was a man dressed in army attire that firmly made his presence known aboard the bus. 10 minutes of talking in their native Lugandan language, the army general and the bus driver parted ways. The bus driver got out his side of the bus, the army general stepped foot off his side and now – to confront the police. Why was this happening?

Long story short, the bus apparently did not come to a complete stop at a checkpoint, however, due to the current scenario, it was impossible for the bus to stop on demand at that unnoticible checkpoint. However, it had stopped just 3 meters past the checkpoint and slowly began backing up. This created many problems.

The police did a thorough investigation of the paperwork aboard the bus and found that the bus was missing documents that it should’ve been carrying. This created fun for the policemen who appeared to be otherwise bored as they were previously just sitting on the side of the road before pulling us over. Within the next ten minutes, nearly every adult on the bus was outside arguing with the police and army men, and shortly thereafter, the crowd of over 50 people lined up one by one to begin testimony – oh the joys of African law. Apparently there are few.
….
Funny thing was that all during this time there was, underneath the bus in the storage compartment, blood that was being carried by the government official bus needed in a village three hours north of where we were for a blood transfusion. As you know, blood cannot be left out too long – this created even more dilemma in the argument between citizens and police/army men.

Meanwhile, Brittany and I took turns entertaining the young children aboard the bus as well as those on the sidelines observing the scenario. Children in Africa are everywhere. There were nearly 30-40 children at all times watching the ‘teddy-bear’ show from the bus window. Brittany would take Mr. Teddy Bear and play hide and seek with the kiddos on the street, do little drama skits with Mr. Teddy Bear, that would involve the children – soon the kiddos were basically playing the childs game, Simon Says, to the movements of the teddy bear. It was pretty dang cute! I took many photos, if I can find an internet café with decent connection, I will download the photos from this event!

After a nearly three hour hold up from the Uganda law enforcement, we were finally on our again. I was told the only reason we did not have to wait for another government bus to come and replace the one we were on was due to the fact that we were carrying the time sensitive blood. Thank goodness for the blood!

Arriving in Gulu four and a half hours later, Richard, Brittany and I hired a private hire car to take us and our luggage to the Hotel Diamond Complex where we are staying. Immediately after dropping our bags of off at our new home, we began by foot to find our way to the Action for Children office. Action for Children is a partnering agency to ChildVoice International and they are assisting us in this survey process as well as in many other ways. Upon arriving at the office we were greeted by three young and very generous staff members, Frances, Judith and Vicki. Here we developed a plan for the following day of working together. We agreed to meet up at our hotel at 10 AM and drive by boda boda to the village called Lacor where we would conduct our first 25 interviews with women who had been abducted by the Lords Resistance Army.

We arrived by boda boda (motorcycle) close to 10:45 AM Friday morning. The ride to Lacor was beautiful. As it is the rainy season in Uganda, everything is green and very lush. The banana, mango and avocado trees, the green grasses which grow so tall; these spread out over the rolling hills of the Lacor region – the beauty captivates me. The roads are mainly dirt, and lately mostly mud. It has been raining here quite a bit – this is the cause of the natural tattoos of caked mud upon our lower legs. Boda bodas don’t mind the mud, so they assume neither should its passengers! Many holes, some big, some small, are in high numbers - scattered throughout the roads. So many, that the second morning on my drive to Lacor, I took the maximum dose of Ibuprofren before beginning the second ride to Lacor! The headache from the ride the day before continued to linger to the following morning! The extra bumpy roads, combined with little to no shocks on the boda bodas creates a nearly over-stimulating journey!

Upon arriving at this IDP (Internally Displaced Persons) camp in Lacor, we were greeted by 25 young woman and their children. Before beginning the surveys, the woman performed their traditional Acholi dance for us. It was highly intriguing to observe for the first time ever, traditional African dance. These 25 women are a part of a women’s group that was founded by a local man named Robinson.
Robinson was born in the Gulu area. However, just a few years later both of his parents were killed by rebels of the LRA. Having grown up with no family to call his own, as well as having observed the twenty-year war in Northern Uganda, Robinson decided he had to do something to help. Granted he works on a volunteer basis, Robinson has formed four groups for women with an average of 30 women per group, as well as over 12 youth groups teaching life skills and organized sports to the children of the IDP camps.

Because so many of these children do not attend school due to being abducted, and/or finances, they do not have a lot to do throughout the days after their daily chores of hauling water, watching siblings and any agricultural work they may be lucky enough to have. It was beautiful to see these children playing sports together throughout the day as I was interviewing the young child mothers. As I mentioned before, children are everywhere in Africa, this village of Lacor is no exception!

The IDP camps are surreal. When walking through the camp I continued to equate the IDP camp scenario with that of American college dorm life living. Knowing this is a far skewed analogy, it was the first thing that popped into my head. Many people living in very tight quarters, indeed there is a reason these are called camps… Due to the excessive number of displaced people due to the war, these camps are overflowing. The huts are built so close to one another that in order to pass between one hut and another, I have to turn sideways, and even then, the grass from the roofs brush against my body. In one of these small huts there can be on average 10 children and up to 20 + and a couple or more adults! As I was touring through the camp I took notice of the many ways that the locals were attempting to support themselves, some were selling small batches of tomatoes, others were drying beans in the sun, while others were away I was told, digging, preparing the small plots of ground that they rent from a local owner in order to plant mango and avocado trees, some planted the local g-nut. G-nut is likened to a small peanut, nearly the same flavor and texture. Very good flavor!

Brittany and I conducted the interviews on wooden benches underneath large mango trees, in an attempt to remain out of the heat of the day. Close by were the football (soccer) fields where the older children were playing game after game of football. The younger children watched along the sidelines or simply played with one another under the verandas of the nearby church. I must admit at times it was hard to focus on the interviews with all of the beautiful little African children frolicking around me!


The interviews went well. These first 25 that we conducted were a part of a pilot survey, in other words, testing out the survey we were using to see if there were any necessary changes that needed to be made in order to fully accomplish our ultimate goals. Indeed, Brittany and I agreed that it was a very good thing that we had this opportunity to test out this survey on a group of woman before calling the survey ‘final’. There were some very important changes that we concluded needed to be made in order to most effectively interview 300 more young child mothers. Over the course of Friday and Saturday we completed the pilot test surveys and returned home to our room to input the data on the computer in order to send the results back to America for the finalization of this survey.
Each survey takes approximately 40-45 minutes to complete and we expect to conduct approximately 15 surveys per day. It is not easy work – our experience was that literally, it was one woman after the next with no breaks in between except for the 15 seconds it took one woman to get up from the bench and another woman to replace her spot. Surveying women, asking each one the same question over and over and over again is interesting, in that every woman has a different story to tell. However, the nature of the questions does not allow us to go into depths – but rather at this point it is very factual. This is a little challenging as both Brittany and I are relational people and desire very much to gain deeper understanding of each woman’s situation and want to have time to pray with that woman, minister to her on any level that we can, rather then simply asking basic factual questions, congratulating her on her courage to be open and share what she has with us, give her another big ‘Afoiyo Matek’ (thank you very much) and move onto the next woman. Without complaints, I recognize this is the nature of the work that we are doing; conducting baseline surveys. This type of work is new to me and I am in the learning process of how to integrate myself into this line of work.

Yesterday was Sunday, Brittany and I took a boda boda to the Gulu Baptist Church. Here we met some fantastic people! Everyone was extremely welcoming and very generous in their support of to mzungu’s (white people) being in their country. Immediately after church we got another boda boda and headed back into town to hit the internet café in order to download for Conrad (Director/Founder of ChildVoice International) and Tae (developer of the survey) the results of the pilot survey and the suggested changes/questions we had come up with.

Now I knew the internet cafes in Africa were slower then in America, so I was prepared when I got to the internet café. However, I did not anticipate a 17 minute wait just to open the front page of my mac.com email account!! Then to sign in took me another 7 minutes, and to upload my first email (thanks mom!) took yet another 11 minutes. Oh my oh my… I was at the internet café for nearly three hours yesterday. During that time managed to write two emails, one to my mother, and one to Conrad. (this was after three failed attempts to email Conrad. I would just have gotten everything downloaded to send off to Conrad, a total of nearly forty-five minutes of work, pressed send, only to receive a ‘Request Failed” sign without the option to move forward or backwards.

If anyone manages to read this far, and still wonders why they have not received a personal email from me, please understand that it is not that I have not tried, and I am thinking of you!

Until the survey is officially finalized, we cannot conduct any interviews. In the meantime Brittany is working on a project she participated in down in Soroti where she spent a month working in IDP camps assessing the needs of the camp. I am working on all of my readings required for my internship. This summer I am taking 18 credits worth of classes through my college, Alaska Pacific University. Any spare time I have I must be diligent to do my required readings and writings, because otherwise, the workload when I return to America will be great!

I am currently reading four different books. One I must admit, takes more discipline to read then the others. This book is titled Conducting Research in Psychology; Measuring the Weight of Smoke by Brett W. Pelham. This is for my Research Methods class. The other three books are Armies of the Young; Child Soldiers in War and Terrorism by David M. Rosen, Child Soldiers; From Violence to Protection by Michael Wessells, and lastly, a small handbook written by the Office of the Prime Minister, Department of Disaster Preparedness and Refugees of the Republic of Uganda called The National Policy for Internally Displaced Persons.

I had a friend email me and ask what the food is like in Uganda. I have found the food here to be very much like in most other developing countries I have been to. Most things are fried, some are roasted and when lucky one can find boiled food. Ugandans eat a lot of beans, although I have yet to find them in a restaurant, cassava – a starchy tuberous root from a tropical tree – texture similar to a potato, I have found it roasted or fried. Fish, goat or beef is found in the restaurants. These meats can be ordered fried, or as a ‘stew’. This stew resembles an oily tomato sauce with the chunks of cooked meat sitting in the sauce accompanied with rice and matoke. The rice and matoke is usually combined with the sauce and meat. Matoke is similar to a plantain and is found fried, cooked in the leaf and served similar to mashed potatoes or grilled and eaten as you would a banana. Some people choose to put salt on the grilled matoke and cassava.

Beef and goat sticks are common especially at every bus stop. As the bus comes to a stop all of the street vendors swarm to the sides of the bus holding their cold water bottles for sale, the meat sticks, grilled matoke, or cassava, to name a few. One of Brittany’s favorite foods in Uganda is the Chapati. This is a combination wheat flour, water, salt, and oil and is fried like a tortilla. She claims to love this because of “its simplicity that expands all social classes, rich and poor eat it, and its delicious!” Personally I don’t care for this stuff! Breakfast at the hotel is the same every day; either 2 boiled eggs, 2 pieces of white bread, hot milk, a choice of instant coffee or tea, or it is fried eggs and chapati, and if we are lucky we may get a banana! Interestingly, here, they do not use hot water for tea, but rather, hot milk – same with the coffee. Along the sides of the streets one can always find mangos, bananas, avocado, potatoes and tomatoes.

With all the talk about food, Brittany is ever so patiently awaiting my closure of this letter. We are both quite hungry and she knows, it will be a couple of hours minimum at the internet café just trying to send this off to you.

Here’s saying a goodbye to you!!
With much love and blessings on you!

The extraordinary team of the Brendsel and Cushing!

(Photo of Brittany and Rebekah being ourselves!)


QUICK UPDATE ...
TO BE CONTINUED.

Its been a roller coaster – but that is to be expected. Since arriving in Africa, I have spent most all of my time up until two days ago, with the group of 18 college students who have participated in a semester overseas through Go-Ed, a program affiliated with Feed the Hungry.

http://www.go-ed.net/

http://fhi.net/

Brittany, (the woman I am currently working with) just completed her semester through Go-Ed on Sunday. Everyone except she and one other young woman left for America yesterday morning. Since they left, Brittany and I have been involved in preparations for our departure and work to be done in Gulu. This began with our first meeting with Richard (ChildVoice Lakoti Project Director) to begin preparations. Richard, Brittany and I ventured to the Action for Children office where we met up with a few lead people to discuss the logistical details of the work to be done in Gulu. Action for Children is a partnering organization with ChildVoice International and is assisting us with finding the young women we will be interviewing, among other things. Our meeting was overall successful, however, it clearly revealed that rather then leaving the next morning, it looked as if it would be more like three to four days before everything would be in place to leave fro Gulu. There are many details yet to square away.

http://www.actionforchildren.or.ug/

Brittany and I are now staying at the Uganda headquarters of Feed the Hungry where we attempt to make the necessary arrangements needed in order to get things lined up for Gulu.

Although at this point many of the details needed ironing out are not in our hands, the few things we could be working on are increasingly difficult as the power goes out, and the internet connection dissipates at random moments in time. We have not had internet connection available for more then two days now and electricity is spontaneous. This is causing more delays in establishing the connections we need. Nevertheless we continue to use our time as wisely as we can through continued research on Gulu, Child Soldiers, research methods, and rehabilitation techniques, as well as spending time in prayer, getting to know one another (Brittany and I) and catching up on some much needed sleep.

VIEW THE NEW CHILDVOICE INTERNATIONAL NEWSLETTER!

This morning I awoke extra early with the specific intention to write an update of my time in Kamapala, Uganda. Before writing, as my addiction demands, I had to check my email first! This morning I recieved a copy via email of the new April/May ChildVoice International newsletter. ChildVoice International is the NGO that I am working through during my time in Africa. To view the entire newsletter in order to learn more about what exactly this organization is doing, you can go to the following web address which is the blog site for ChildVoice International:

http://www.ugandanhope.blogspot.com/

SPECIFIC TO THE NEWSLETTER:

Specific to what I am doing, the following is a reporting you will find in the newsletter on the blog:


Sunday, April 29, 2007

Research Project Underway!

"A major research project begins on May 1st at Layibi and Unyama camps where ChildVoice and Action For Children are serving about 300 child mothers and their children. Two interns with ChildVoice, Brittany Brendsel from Messiah College and Rebekah Cushing from Alaska Pacific University, will conduct home visits and field surveys to collect valuable demographic and psychosocial information on each girl. Three other interns, Tae Kurosu from Boston University, Jennifer Quiroa and Kevin “Miller” Hui from Brown University, will join Brittany and Rebekah in June to complete this survey research.

This survey data will help ChildVoice to make the difficult selection decisions about who will be accepted into the program as well as provide critical data that will help us develop program services that better meet their needs."


Brittany and I leave tomorrow morning for Gulu by bus. The new Project Manager for the renovation work at the Lukoti site (you can learn more about this on the blogsite), Richard Kitarinyeba, will escort the two of us by bus up to Gulu. Yesterday Brittany and I met with Richard in preperation for our trip north. Richard is an incredibly friendly and fun fella and I am very much looking forwards to working with him this summer. Richard will remain in Gulu with Brittany and I throughout our time in Gulu and will be one of our point contact men. You can learn more about Richard as well by reading the UgandanHope blog, the address which is posted above.

1:06 AM, Thursday, April 26th, 2007. Having been in Africa nearly 24 hours, it seems that I only just arrived moments ago. Since being here, despite not ever leaving the guesthouse grounds where I am staying, it has been quite a journey. From the beginning it has been a beautiful process of controlled chaos. Thankfully, from the get-go of the preparations for Africa, I have had the unconditional and obvious love and genuine support of my family and a few exceptionally great friends. This support has been the cause of my success thus far.

The decision to spend the summer in Africa came within just five days of learning about an organization called ChildVoice International which I ran across on the internet one afternoon while doing research for a college class. After reading through this website, I sent out a very brief inquiry to ChildVoice, asking of any possible volunteer opportunities available. It was less then 5 hours later that I received a response from the founder/director of ChildVoice, Conrad Mandsager. It was less then 5 days after that, that I made the decision in my heart that I was, indeed, going to Africa this summer.

In order to accomplish this desire, it became apparent rather quickly, that I would have a lot of work to do to make this dream become a reality. My travel dates were nearly just a month away. First and foremost, I would have to finish up my spring semester in college through Alaska Pacific University, which I was enrolled at the time, three weeks early. In addition to that, I would need to create a proposal for classes for the summer 2007 semester, allowing me to get college credit for the internship I would participate in through ChildVoice. This, in addition to writing up and sending out an informative newsletter sharing with friends and family what I will being doing throughout my three months in Africa, packing up my entire life (once again) and storing it in a friends basement, canceling car insurance, putting my cell phone on seasonal suspend, seeing my very valued friends once more before leaving Alaska, packing up my bags for three months of international travel, as well as tying up the many other frivolous but imperative loose ends, has created somewhat of a controlled chaos within my own being. Finally on the 21st of April I flew early in the morning on Alaska Airlines down to Sitka, Alaska where I was greeted by one of my most supportive and treasured friends, Victor Chen, a family practice medical doctor from California, as well as my two little sisters, Ahna and Maia.

Here in Sitka, I spent three days re-packing what I had once packed, but this time adding the many pertinent items I did not have time to gather together until arriving in Sitka. Throughout this process I squeezed in as many moments as possible to visit with my family – my parents, my brother Aaron and his daughter Hayley as well as his girlfriend Christie, my sisters Ahna and Maia, and Victor, (who flew up from California specifically to visit me before I left for Africa doing this as he knew he may not see me again for some time considering he is moving indefinitely to Central Asia). Granted I wanted to visit with my many special friends in Sitka, it was only those I received a chance to run into while downtown gathering last minute essentials that I had a chance to embrace.

Thanks to Pastor Paul and Pastor Steve of Grace Harbor Church, I was able to share with my church family in Sitka at both the Saturday night service as well as the Sunday morning service about this time I was about to embark upon in Africa.

As I boarded Alaska Airlines with Victor, to head to Seattle to make my connecting flight to Heathrow, London and onto Entebbe, Uganda 10 hours later, I was in a state of sedation. Not sleepy tired, but mellow. Granted I would only see Victor for the remaining time of our flight before parting ways for who knows how long, I ended up falling asleep just moments after take off. I awoke every once in awhile as my head would fall forward – Victor having to catch my head to prevent self-injury. It was only the last fifteen minutes of our flight that I awoke enough to receive words of encouragement and prayer from Victor before parting ways.

After landing in Seattle, I had to make a mad dash to retrieve my luggage from baggage claim and rush over to British Airway counter to check in for my next flight which was only and hour and a half away from departing. British Airway counter is at the other end of the terminal – with nearly 90 pounds of luggage, it was a good work out! Fortunatly I made it to my gate in time – not only did I make it in time, but I calculated the time on my ticket incorrectly and was not 10 minutes early to my boarding gate, but an hour and 10 minutes early! LOL! (it wasn’t so funny at the time!)

The flight to London was good. I sat next to a young fellow headed back to Iraq for his third rotation, learned a lot from him and enjoyed his company. After a couple of hours of conversation, I slept the remaining 8 hours until arriving in London.

I was shocked at the fanciness of the London airport. After purchasing a bottle of water for $3.50 American money, I quickly realized I would be waiting to eat food until I got back on the airplane – everything in London was so expensive! After scoping out every nook and cranny I could to fully experience this London International airport experience, I went to the designated ‘quiet area’ where I laid down on a reclined chair and slept for another 4.5 hours before boarding my next flight to Entebbe, Uganda.

This flight was the beginning of many confirmations that I am right where I am supposed to be. I sat next to a Korean man, approximately early fifties. I was careful to share my reasons for heading to Uganda when he inquired of the purpose of my trip, until he revealed to me what it is that he was heading from California to Uganda for. Long story short, Paul Kim is the founder of World Mission Frontier. He has established over 100 schools throughout 5 different countries in Africa (Burundi, Congo, Rwanda, Uganda and Tanzania) and soon will be expanding to a total of 7 countries, adding to the list, Chad and Sudan. Along with schools (kindergarten, elementary, high school, Universities and Seminaries) Paul Kim has established orphanages, medical facilities and provides opportunities for high school graduates to study overseas in Korea and America.

Through conversation with Kim, I was greatly encouraged and inspired in my own walk with God. I then expounded on my reasons for being in Uganda, sharing with Kim what I will be doing while in Gulu, in Northern Uganda. The more I shared, the larger his eyes got. After I finished sharing, Kim suggested we remain in touch with one another as he would like to use my experiences and knowledge to further establish his work. He spoke of the future possibilities of assisting him in his work around the different countries in Africa, dealing with the issue of child soldiers. Of the 7 countries that he is working in, 6 of them are dealing extensively with the issue o child soldiers.

Kim has an 18 year old daughter who has been in Tanzania teaching English at one of the schools her father Paul Kim founded. Last night Paul Kim flew to Tanzania for the graduation of 20 high school students who have completed their high school education as well as their education in the Korean language. This summer, thanks to Paul Kims work, these 20 African students will fly to Korea where they will begin attending college to become future leaders for the country of Africa.

On Sunday evening, Paul Kim and his daughter will be here in Kampala. They will drive up to the guesthouse where I am staying, pick me up and take me out to dinner with them and a few of the other staff members of his ministry. I am very much looking forwards to meeting with them all, and learning all that I can!

When I arrived in Entebbe, the only challenge I was presented with going through ‘customs’ (of which there really was none), was the man who stamped my passport. I handed him my passport, his serious looking face glanced at my photo and immediately his eyes brightened with a smile spreading across his face. He looked up at me and said, “funny cheesy smile!”, he stamped my passport and waved me on.

Thankfully all of my luggage arrived and from what I can tell, never was it even opened for inspection. It appears that everything I left America with arrived with me in Africa. I had a private hire awaiting me at the airport to transport me to the Namirembe House, “A million dollar view”. www.namirembe-guesthouse.com

I did not know where I would be staying my first few nights in Uganda. All I knew was that within the next three days I needed to find a young woman named Brittany, who would be my partner throughout this upcoming internship. Two days before leaving I chose to book a reservation through the Namirembe guesthouse as I found it on a Christian Uganda Missions website. Having no other suggested places to stay I could only assume this was an appropriately safe place to stay. I emailed the guesthouse, but did not hear back from them until my layover in London when I was able to access email. This was a relief to hear from them, at least now I knew I had someone awaiting me at the airport when I arrived into Entebbe.

Again, I slept another four hours on the flight from London to Entebbe, so when I arrived I felt well rested… I thought. The drive from the airport to the guesthouse was approximately 25 minutes. The scenery was beautiful, driving past the second largest lake in the world, Lake Victoria, observing the beautiful lush greenery surrounding city streets, the young children playing with small intertubes on the roadside, thatched roofs and bright pink flowers, mothers hauling water on their heads, a baby on their back and a few chickens under her arm. Simplicity, yes I am, back where I belong.
It was raining pretty intensely on the drive to my new home. It was beautiful, warm, humid. I was surprised of the lack of smells. Overall Entebbe and Kampala are relatively clean.

Upon arriving at Namirembe guesthouse, I was afraid I had made a rash decision to stay at this place. It is beautiful! I thought to myself that perhaps I had chosen a place too nice! It is not a 5 star hotel according to American standards, however, for Africa, it is gorgeous!

Because I did not yet know how I would find Brittany, or when she would arrive back in Kampala, I decided it would be wise to remain at this house until finding her. Therefore, I chose to stay in the least expensive room. It is small, but has a bed, desk, sink and front porch that overlooks the city. Still a little mansion compared to some fishing boat accommodations I have lived in!

This guesthouse is up high on a hill, surrounded by coconut, banana and mango trees as well as many differing brightly colored flowers. Directly in front of the guesthouse is a very nice brick hospital that blends in nicely to the scenery. Down the street is an orphanage for abandoned infants that I will visit later today. The views from my porch are of a small neighborhood with narrow dirt roads, many rolling hills, a little part of Lake Victoria, and many beautiful trees. Temperatures are in the low to mid 70’s this morning. In fact, last night it was cool enough that I slept under a couple of blankets, I enjoyed that! (this will change when I arrive in Gulu – very hot up there!)

After checking into my room, and receiving a tour of the guesthouse grounds, I went up the restaurant for breakfast. Here, at a small table sat five young Caucasians in their early to mid twenties. I politely interrupted them, introduced myself and asked what they were doing in Uganda. They explained they were here for an internship semester overseas through Food for the Hungry and had just returned that day from assignments throughout all of Africa. This was beginning to sound familiar, somewhat like what Brittany shared with me in the one email of correspondance that we had between one another before my arrival in Kampala. I inquired further for more information, but decided that this was not the group that Brittany was with. “How ironic”, I thought to myself, “ it would be if this had been the very group that Brittany was with, and she was actually here!” Twenty minutes later after listening the various stories of these college students’ experiences throughout Africa someone asked me what I was doing in here in Uganda. When I shared I was heading up to Gulu, Uganda to work with ex-child soldiers, someone piped up and nearly shouted,
“are you Rebekah?!”
I promptly replied back,
“Is Brittany here?!”
Needless to say, of all the places in Kampala to stay, I chose the exact guesthouse where Brittany and her current team are staying. We were united together for the first time last night and instantly felt the ‘soul sista’ connection…! I could go into the details of our meeting one another, but that is going to come in the posts to come – for now, if you imagine two long lost sisters (who really loved each other and had a deep bond between one another) re-united unexectently, you could visualize the scene and imagine the conversations… This was an incredibly unexpected surprise! Brittany is now finishing the last two days of her semester through Food for the Hungry and will be officially joining up with me come Monday. In the meantime I have been meeting other people from America who are staying here at the guesthouse, exploring Africa by boda boda and learning the customs and culture of this fantastic country!

This morning I met a man by the name of Don Herr and his wife Elaine at breakfast. Don is the P.E.A.C.E Relief Coordinator for Saddleback Church in Lake Forest, California. This is the church that Rick Warren pastors, author of the Purpose Driven Life. Donn and Elaine are working in various parts of Uganda doing some very interesting and impacting work. They have been able to give me some very important and pertinent contact information that will assist me in my time in northern Uganda.

A young woman named Heather who is from London has been here in Uganda for nearly two months now, spending her time in hospitals and refugee camps as a nurse. She is only 21 years old, but very intelligent and wise for her age. She and I went to the Friday market together this morning, before her departure back to London this afternoon. The Ugandan markets are so vibrant, with many different unique and beautiful items! The musical instruments were a blast to try out! The jewelry was so diverse and colorful, and even more impressive to me was how calm and patient the salesmen and women are. Unlike in SE Asia were I experienced continuous bombardment of people attempting to sell me things, the Africans are patient with you, laid back, but engaging in conversation if initiated.

After finishing up at the Friday craft market I went to grocery market where I bought a Ugandan SIM card for my American cell phone. I now have a phone number should anyone decide they want to call me in Uganda! The best way, (I have learned ) is to buy a calling card from www.nobelcom.com Apparently for the country of Uganda this company gives the very best rates. It is free for me to receive calls to my phone, but nine dollars a minute to call America from my phone.

Today I explored Kampala by foot, taxi and boda boda. I went to meet a little 4 year old boy that has been abandoned by his parents. He is not well, though being cared for by a couple of families in this community, is better off then if he were on his own. These families do not have money to purchase medicine for the worms he has in his belly, nor for the scabies on his skin or the lice in his hair. However, what they can do for him is love him, and feed him what little they can. This little guy is precious, and I must say, it was very difficult to walk away from him, without a definite solution to his problem. However, when I go to dinner on Sunday with Paul Kim, I will be referring to this little guy, and inquiring about the possibility to get him into one of Paul Kims orphanages. The families that are caring for this little guys would like to see him receive health care and proper nutrition that they are unable to provide him, in order to nourish him back to health. I do hope we can find a solution for this little guy…

I have many other stories from my exploration journey this morning/afternoon, however, I must post this email for those of you who are curious of my whereabouts, safety and experiences this far. I am afraid I could write another few hours and by then you would be sleeping due to length of this posting. I am going to take a little rest before dinner and then will write more. I know that I will not always have so much time to write, but will take advantage of the times available in order that I may share with you some of experiences that you have assisted me in making possible.

Africa summed up for me in these first 1.5 days is this: beauty.

I have much more to report, however I need to take a moment to rest. Looking forwards to sharing more with you soon!

Finally I taken the time (and that is the key phrase...taking the time) to write on this site. I literally had to schedule time in my day today to sit down on the computer for this specific purpose! I have been back in America for a couple of weeks now. Rather then flying back to Anchorage where I have been going to school, I chose to remain in Sitka where I am originally from to stay with my family while writing up my five college reports that are do. These reports are all within the field of my degree, Cross-cultural Psychology and Human Development. I had quite the diversity of experiences in Haiti with which to write these five reports from.

The challenge I have had in the last two weeks has been planting my behind to a chair for 10-12 hours a day with my eyes glued to the computer screen typing away attempting to capture my experiences and combine them under the specific topic heading of the report, (i.e. Exploring Therapeutic Activities for Children, Cross Cultural Psychology, Cross Cultural Human Development, Voodooism and Haitian Religion and Leadership.) Having never written APA style before and aiming to write at minimum forty paged a piece per report, phew...! It has been a long last couple of weeks.

I leave to return to Anchorage on Monday and will be there for approximately a week before returning to Sitka for my summer job charter fishing part time and working in the lodge the other part of the time. www.islandviewcharters.com is the website you can view if you are interested to see where I will be working. Wonderful people and a beautiful location.

I am not certain of my winter plans yet. If I can find a way to make it work I will remain in Sitka for the winter and do correspondence studies through my school in Anchorage. I really value my own community and desire to invest in the people within my own hometown. The cultural diversity we have here is incredible. The options to work with people from all around the world are huge, even right here on this island of fourteen miles of road.

Since returning from Haiti it has been a challenge attempting to share about my time down there. Explaining things of that nature are nearly impossible. Things seen, tasted, touched, smelled, experienced, etc. are difficult to relay. Only by a person being there and experiencing it for themselves will they really get, "it." I do miss Haiti and the Haitian people.

Last night I went on a gallery walk downtown in Sitka. It was wonderful! Local artists showing their work, many abundantly rich spirited local residents of Sitka socializing from one art gallery to the next, sampling the many free appetizers and wines. This was an enlightening experience for me as having recently returned from Haiti, I am aware of my new eye for art.

I walked into my first gallery last night and did not walk out for over an hour. I was amazed at the feast it was for my eyes!! I saw art, paintings, sculptures, woodwork, in a new light, in a way I had never before seen it. Very captivating and exciting for me! I learned how to appreciate the Haitian art while in Haiti. The art there is so diversified that coming back here, I found myself to be very well rounded in viewing and admiring many different types of creations.

I am glad to be back in Alaska, though I very much miss the simplicity of the culture of Haiti. Someone asked me last night what the meant, "the simplicity of the culture of Haiti." Considering I was at the gallery walk, I simplified it by saying, " The Haitian culture is drinking, dancing and making art." I got some great laughs out of that!

Truth is that the Haitian culture is much, much more then that. It is centralized on family, on community, on creativity in all aspects of life and yes, art. I am very honored to have had the chance I did to explore the culture and peoples of Haiti. Now that I am back, I am excited to implement the many lessons learned, acknowledge cultural diversity on a deeper level and invest in sharing the excitement of learning about lives across cultures.

The time invested here in Haiti, with an aim to gain deeper insight into cultural expression, diversity, personality had provided me with experiences that not only did I not expect, but never conceived would be reality.

If I had to sum up a topic that resembles the most obvious, enriching and valuable lessons I have learned his far, it would cultural human dynamics.

Working here at Trinity House has been a mixture of two cultures, five people, five personalities with multiple ideas each, desires and suggestions of many kinds and five thick skulls to top it off.

Granted that we all have the same aim and a desire to work as a team, with the challenges of the language barriers, the mixture of very diverse backgrounds both in upbringing as well as culturally, in conjunction with the large age range -the youngest on this mentoring team is 24, the oldest is 76.

Learning how to suggest ideas without appearing to want to take charge; learning how to appropriately communicate ideas through the language barriers without the wrong message being sent; learning how to know when to take charge, and when to stand aside; learning how to adapt to culturally acceptable/non-acceptable standards, learning how to confront someone much older then you when they are in the obvious wrong and creating scenarios that are unnecessary; learning to stand up for yourself and not only establish your personal boundaries, but remain true to your word by abiding to them; these and many other are some of the major running themes of lessons embraced.

RESERVATIONS?! Oops!

I forgot to expound on that comment I made in the previous entry I posted.

After many days of intensive research, I have finally settled on specific times and days that I will begin my journey back home to Alaska.

March 28th I will fly in the morning from Port Au Prince to Miami where I will overnight before flying out the next morning from Miami to Seattle where I have a long lay-over (long enough to take the bus into town to hit Pikes Place Market - drink some real AMERICAN coffee!! and walk over to REI to dream a bit before returning back to the airport to fly from Seattle to my hometown of Sitka. I will remain in Sitka visiting family, friends, taking care of exciting business such as taxes, catching up with paperwork etc. From Sitka I will fly back up to Anchorage in order to complete my semester of college as well as catch up with family and friends there.

My sister had her third baby boy, literally an hour prior to my leaving Anchorage for Miami. I have a lot of catching up to do with little Cooper who is today, two months old!

Then it is planning for summer college classes, applying for scholarships, doing fundraising for the orphanages in Haiti, deciding on what to do for summer time work etc.

This gift of existance, my life, despite any difficulty, is never void of opportunities or adventure. I like it that way, I am truly blessed.

I love Haiti, and I enjoy my time here, however, I will not deny missing my family and friends, and a good Americano with a half shot of French Vanilla flavoring, three inches of steamed up skinny milk with a good few dallops of foam on the top, my favorite cinnamon raisen bagel toasted with a little peanut butter and the briskness of the fresh morning air that Alaska provides. So much to be thankful for whether here or there. I am so glad to be learning that my 'home,' and contentedness, really is literally, where my heart is...and that is where my two feet are literally planted.

It has been a very long time since having more then just a half hour to sit down at a computer and type. In the last two weeks, whenever I did have that chance I would have to invest that time in responding to imperative emails, making airline reservations...(Did I say AIRLINE reservations?!) and sending out updates to the director of the orphanages. I have had so much pent up inside of me, so much that I have wanted to share with you, finally I can begin.

This post will explain to you the fun details of our 6 year Anniversary celebration of the Trinity House we recently celebrated.

Last Friday, the staff members from all three homes, including Pastor John all arrived in order to help prepare for the 6 year anniversary party of Trinity House.

Pastor John, the founder of the mentor program at the Trinity House, is out wonderful liberal Lutheran Pastor from Phoenix, Arizona who returned to Haiti for a three week stay with the boys.

The Anniversary was a huge success with over 90 people involved. My day began at 3:30 in the morning when I and few boys awoke begin preparing the food for the upcoming party. Fried chicken, fried plantains, the traditional tomato chicken sauce poured over beans and rice, potato salad, garden salad with homemade dressing a very special treat for the boys, Reeses Peanut Butter cups for desert was the menu. Between 3:30 am and 12:30 PM, I was in the kitchen preparing food, having barely enough time to dish up all 97 plates of food for the the visitors and boys before many of them had to leave at 1:15 PM.

I made tbe biggest green salad I have ever seen! It was so large I had to put it in the bucket used to wash clothes in! I cannot wait until I can get my photos on the computer so you can see what that salad looked like. Big enough to be a garden!


Pastor John had bought a brand new extra large griddle, a large package of Costco sized Krusteaz pancake mix, 9 bottles of imitation butter flavored syrup as well as we made a special run to a special market, in order to buy real butter, (something that I have never seen here in Haiti before.)

I did take a very fun break to enjoy the pancakes with the boys. We had a very exhilarating morning as Pastor John borrowed a stereo to put in the kitchen in order to play some high energy American music while drinking his most favorite coffee while mixing up and making pancakes enough for all of the Trinity boys, and staff members from the three orphanages who had come early in preparation for the party.

If you could have only been a fly on the wall. These boys were thrilled. We were all dancing around to the music in the kitchen, pouring syrup, slabbing butter and gobbling up the pancakes as if there may never be another one to taste again.

The Celebration began at 9 AM with a morning Sunday praise and worship/prayer service that Pastor John led, with michele (the new intern/staff member) translating English to Creole'. Once finished we all walked out to the new soccer field that, thanks to Claude has been re-designed, filled with fresh new dirt, leveled and marked with boundaries to create an actual field. A lot of work went into this, with hiring, firing, re-hiring, firing and hiring another company to bulldoze, transport and dump gravel, grate the field etc. In the end, and just in the nick of time, (literally just a half hour before the blessing of the field, the last bulldozer left the field, even though they began working on it over two weeks ago...) it was completed.

Almost 100 of us encircled the field while Pastor John did a dedication of the field just prior to the first of two soccer games that the boys played. The first game was for the younger children, 14 and under. The game was between the boys of the St. Josephs home in Petionville, and the Trinity House boys from Jacmel. YEAH!! Our little boys from the Trinity House won this game, and received a lovely basketball trophy as a reminder, that now sits on top of the refridgerator in the kitchen at the Trinity house. (In Jacmel we could only find one trophy resembling soccer players...not a lot of selection around here! The Older boys received the soccer trophy while the younger ones were quite content with the basketball!)

The second game played by the older boys, was not so fortunate for our Trinity boys, the St. Josephs team won 2-1. They now proudly display their trophy on their kitchen fridge as well.

After the games was the mad dash to serve up all the food, and then cater to while visiting the many friends I have made in the community and invited to the party. WOW! In Haiti, if anyone is invited to a party, even if they don't know the details or exact reasons what it is all about, they show up! 17 of the 19 people I had invited showed up!

I spent the next couple of hours cleaning up in order to enable Pastor John, Claude and Michele to take the boys down to the beautiful nearby beach where they all swam for the next few hours. This was a nice break for me, to have a little quite time and to have some space.

Overall it was a huge success, enabling the boys of the Trinity House to be encouraged as they experienced the excitement we all have of their continued success and well-being.

"immediately, Jesus made his disciples get into the boat and go on ahead of him..." Mark 6:25

Having read a morning devotional book this warm, sunny, somewhat muggy morning, here in Cap Haitian, Haiti...I was re-inspired to live for the day, and not for, "that day..."

I think you know what I mean what I say, "that day."

I know that when I explain to you the battle I have lived within for so long of, 'that day,' that most likely you can relate.

Living with the idea that as soon as whatever it is that we are aiming for takes place, things will be better, this steals our joy.

"When I get my body in the shape and physical condition I want it in, everything will be good again."

"When my family is happy and they are out of the middle of their struggles they face, then I can be content."

"When I have enough money and the time to take that vacation etc., then I will finally have a chance to relax..."

All of these are ideas that many of us live with, but they are a false illusion.

To re-iterate the reading I did this morning, I will type out a brief overview. I think it is important to share this with you, as I believe it is something so common to us all.

We are apt to imagine that if Jesus Christ constrains us, and we obey Him, he will lead us to great success. We must never put our dreams of success as Gods purpose for us; His purpose may be exactly the opposite. We have an idea that God is leading us to a particular end, a desired goal; He is not. The question of getting to a particular end is a mere incident. What we call the process, God calls the end.

What is my dream of Gods purpose for my life? Haaa Haa Ha! That would be a few years in the writing, however, I do believe that His purpose is that I depend on Him, and His power, now.
If I can stay in the middle of the turmoil, calm and unperplexed, that is the end of the purpose of God. God is not working towards a particular finish; His end is the process - that I see Him walking on the waves, no shore in sight, no success, no goal, just absolute certainty that it is alright because I see Him walking on the sea. This truth, for most of my life has seemed to be an impossible idea to accept. Nevertheless, once I begun to accept it, I have found more and more freedom, as well as a reason to keep pressing on. It is the process, not the end which is glorifying to God.

God's training is for now...His purpose is for this minute, not something in the future. We have nothing to do with the afterwards of obedience, we get wrong when we think of the afterwards. What men call training and preparation, God calls the end.

God's end, I am learning, is to enable me to see that He can walk in the chaos of my just now. If I have a further end in view, I do not pay sufficient attention to the immediate present; if I realize that obedience is the end, then each moment, as it comes, is precious.

"Are you running away, or are you running towards something, Rebekah?"

Immediately, my response was a stern, 'TOWARDS!'

Last night my friend Claude and I went out to dinner, beans and oily rice wasn't going to cut it again for dinner, for either of us. We went to a restraunt called the AMBIENCE. This is our favorite place to eat, we both order the chef salad, which must be the best place for vegetables in all of Haiti! Downstairs is a bakery, where we always stop first to grab some fresh bread straight out of the stone oven...we've got the timing down to a tee now! (As far as when to arrive for the bread to come straight out of the stone fired oven.)

As we were eating dinner last night, Claude posed the previous question, quite randomly to me. Claude is much like I, very observant, and aware. This question made me think...all night long, even in my dreams...

It is no question to me, and I can respond immediatlty as to what I am running towards. It is Jesus.

This life, I do not understand.

Hatred, poverty, political unrest, injustice, and on and on...for a spirit that loves diversity as much as I, it is difficult to comprehend a mind-set behind such negative priorities, yet it is a daily reality all around me, especially here in Haiti.

I had made the decision a while back, that if I am going to continue to live in this world, there is quite obviously, (to me,) only one reason worth living for, Jesus Christ. With that said, if I am going to live for Jesus Christ, I cannot, and will not, go half-way. I must fulfill my destiny, carry out my purpose.

I am confident, although I do not understand it all, that God has a divine plan for my life. If he did not, I would not be here in the physical world now. There is no realistic reason I should be alive today, yet he continues to preserve my life.

I am running towards Jesus.

Being here in Haiti is very not fun at times, the culture, so different, the food- not my style, the living conditions poor, nevertheless, I am more comfortable here then I am in America, despite the many material conveniences I have in Alaska.

I much rather prefer to be uncomfortable and learn through the process, then to be comfortable and stagnant. I am very eager to develop myself, my character, personality. Being uncomfortable in the physical world is a sure-fire way to grow!

Today I went on a twenty-five minute ride up inhto the mountains to visit Paula, a woman who, roasts the coffee that we sell through the Trinity House. I got to experience how the Haitian woman who work for and with Paula, (who walk at minimum an hour away to get to work at Paula's house roasting the coffee) do their work, roasting both coffee and cocoa beans...(chocolate!)

This was a very cultural experience, and makes for appreciating the morning coffee that much more! This was a great experience a two and a half hour visit with her mother and she, a tour of the roasting process, (nothing like a tradtional Americanized machine-style roasting!) and about 20 minutes speaking the little Creole I know and taking photos of the woman who roast the coffee. Their spirits are so wise, so special.

This upcoming Sunday we are having celebration of the Trinity House 6 year anniversary. People will begin to show up this evening, extending through Sunday. We will have a dance performance by the Trinity House boys, a special prayer time, a football(soccer- for you Americans!) game, and some game time, 'chill out time,' as well as a formal lunch. Residents from the other homes, St. Josephs House in Port Au Prince, Wings of Hope in Fermathe as well as friends from the surrounding areas, will be attending as well. All in all we are expecting approach. 65 some people to join us! This will be quite a weekend!

Since I returned, the boys have been doing well. The home continues to improve and progress is taking place. Again, I am so honored to be a part of this project!

I have decided that I will remain in Haiti for the TOT1 training through Medical Ambassadors International which will take place in Cap Haitian. I will fly to Port Au Prince and up to Cap Haitian, the middle of next week. As soon as I am done with the training I will fly, if possible, San Francisco to meet up with my friend, victor in CA. This is just a thought though.

So, what am I running to?! JESUS. What makes me tick?! Jesus. Why do I keep living, because I know that God has a plan and purpose, even when I do not understand it, when item makes no sense at all to me...

I trust, I believe and I walk in what I know.

24 hours is just not enough in one day! If simultaneously I could document my thoughts while experiencing them in someway, maybe then I could catch up. Neverthless, my moments remain rich as I focus upon the moment, embracing the magical mysteries God provides in every encounter I have whether with people, sights, experiences or the like.

Early, early, Friday morning I drove to Limbe. Although it took an hour to get there, it was only about 15 miles away. Driving in Haiti is hard to imagine, unless you've been here. I stayed at a local Seminary, for the standards of Haiti, it was quite nice. Here is where the Area-wide Regional Conference for Medical Ambassadors was held. Again, an overview/explanation of Medical Ambassadors can be found on their website at www.medicalambassadors.org.

At this conference, many of the missionaries/trainors from Haiti and the Domincan Republic came for this two day event to share with each other what is taking place in their areas through their ministry work, as well as to recieve further training. This was a very enriching time as I was able to spend two days with people from all around the world including, Venezuala, Haiti, Finland, Congo, Dominican Republic, Argentia, USA, and Ireland. I heard stories that only you believe if you hear it from the horses mouth, or are there in person to experience it, I met individuals who live out a relentless faith as they trust God for things they cannot concieve of, yet absolutely need. In everystroy, time revealed that Gods timing in providing the needs of these individuals was perfact.

I learned a lot more about Medical Ambassadors, their mission, their purpose, as well as had the opportunity to meet five of the nine people I will be doing my five day training with on the 20-24 of March here in Cap Haitian. This training in called the Training of Trainors or, TOT1. You can learn more about this on the Medical Ambassadors website by clicking on 'Trainings.'

After the two day conference was over, we headed back to Cap Haitian where I have spent the last day and ahalf with Vanessa, (My friend from Modesto, Victor, introduced me to Vanessa over email. Victor spent two month in the Philippins with Vanessa doing an internship through Medical Ambassadors. When I told him I was going to Haiti, he connected the two of us.) Vanessa specializes in the area of HIV/AIDS training and prevention in children in Haiti. The last couple of days has been spent meeting more missionaries, going to another orphanage, experiencing more of Cap Haitian, last night I attended an English speaking church service. I am leaving to head back to Jacmel this afternoon. I will fly from Cap Haitian to Port Au Prince and Port Au Prince to Jacmel. I will remain in Jacmel until the 18 or 19 of March before flying back up here to Cap Haitin to attend the TOT1 training that Vanessa will be instructing.

The plan after that is to conider returning to America the very end of March sometime. Although I'd be quite ok with remaining here for some time, I need to return to America in order to hand deliver my college school work to my advisor. I feel this to be of utmost importance, as I am taking a full load of 18 credits worth of college while I am in Haiti. I want to do the very best I can. Showing actual footage, photos, stories etc. in addition to my reports I believe will be helpful in attaining the best possible grades. I will return to do more scholarship research and application as in order to return to school I will have to find funding. I will alo research how I cou ld possibly return to Haiti again soon while doing my college education at the same time. I may have to get creative here, nevertheless, if I find a way to make this possible, I have all the resources I need down here to study, (professional help, internet, a dictionary and thesaurus!) Anyhow, I have a lot ideas, I simply need to begin correlating with others, bouncing thoughts off of other peoples resounding boards and continue praying that God gives me wisdom and guidance to make the right decisions.

There have been a lot of developments at the Trinity House since I have left about a week ago, so already I have my work lined up for my return this evening. I am excited though, I miss my boys very much. I feel like I've left my kids and I feel sad to be away from them!

I must go now, but please know I value your time in reading these posts and staying up to date with what I am doing. It is really encouraging to know that other people that I know and love share with me in my time here in Haiti.

Please continue to pray for peace within my spirit regarding personal challenges that I face daily. God is teaching me faith, patience, and persistance. I want to continue to remain strong in HIS strength, not my own. Also, please pray that I continue to be open and walk in faith through the open doors I am provided. Out of the fear of the unknown it is easy to want to remain comfortable with what I know, but how boring that is! I have not been comfortable since the day I arrived, in the sense that I have chosen to embrace growth, and growth is not always a comfortable process. However, already I can see the progress I have made.

Looking forwards to providing you with the next update!

One of the most phenemonal woman who has and continues to impact my life in deep and enriching ways, sent me this quote in an email a few days ago.

"most people don't know there are angels whose only job is to make sure you don't get too comfortable and fall asleep and miss your life."
-b. andreas

This speaks volume to me. I do not undertand why I do what I do, go where I go, choose to experience the random and crazy things that I do, except for that I cannot stand to remain comfortable. By choosing to step out of my comfort zone, I am alive. By being more scared then comfortable, living in a little fear rather then contentment, I am invigorated and spurred on to continue investing in each and every day. I dont want to miss my life, nor do I want anyone else to.

Wednsday morning I took a spontanious flight from Jacmel to Port Au Prince, and a half hou lay-over later, flew from Port Au Prince to Cap Haitian. Here I met up with a friend of a friends, Vanessa. One of my best friends all of the whole wide world, Victor, from California introduced Vanessa and I to one another over email, cjust prior to my arrival in Haiti. Victor, who is a family practice medical doctor, completed some trainings through an organization called Medical Ambassadors Interntional(MAI). Victor met Vanessa through a two month long Internship program he participated in, in the Phillipines.

Vanessa now volunteers in Cap Haitian Haiti for Medical Ambassadors working primarily doing training/outreach and care for children with HIV/AIDS. For over a monthprior to my arrival in Haiti, Vanessa and I remained in contact with one another over email, and a month after my arrival in Haiti, I finally met her, just yesterday morning.

Flying to Cap Haitian was very easy, and I had no problems to speak of. When I arrived, my initial thought was, I wonder if I ever emailed to Vanessa any photos of myself...then I remembered and thought to myself as I laughed under my breath, " I am the only white woman on the flight!" Not only that, but she knows through our emails that I am a little odd...or 'unique.' I did step off the plane with a big ol' Cow Girl loking hat on...it was really fun!

Immediatly after arriving in cap Haitian we had to fend off the many many beggars, those offering to shine my web strapping sandles as well as the many car washing boys begging to wash the car. First stop was to Vanessas church that she works with and attends. Her vehichle is broken, so she shares a truck with her pastor. We picked up after a tour of the newly expanded church, and he drove us home to Vanessa's house and dropped us off so that he could run some errands. He returned the car shortly before the 29th day of a 40 day revival his church is putting on, began.

On the way from the airport to the church I experienced and viewed yet another aspect of Haiti. Here the country is just as beautiful, but in a different way, then that of where I have previously been. Cap Haitian is directly on the ocean and very lush with greenery all around. THere are sailboats, and fishing boats, junkers and small rafts filling the rivers and the nearby waters. Thick ooey gooey mud and trash are everywhere. In fact, as we drove the bridge that goes over a river, Vanessa pointed out that land mass countinues to expand as people throw their trash out into the waters, and pointed out how much of the city is actually built upon nothing other then literal garbage.

Haiti is a country that does not lack priorities, rather their priorities are in very different ways then our American mind can concieve of. Their roads are far from smooth, far from from comfortable. The pot holes begin to take form and never do they shrink...only as time goes on, do they get wider and deeper, excellent traps for the water. When it rains these holes fill up make it quite difficult for the motorbikes and 2 wheel drive vehichles to pass through. However, in all the time that it takes to do things here, people are connected. People are aware and people take time here. (Sometimes more time then I like, as I am very Americanized!) Nevertheless, the beauty is that these people truely value their relatiohnships with one another, over the frills of monotnous living.

Yesterday I visited an Orphange in Cao Haitian with about 60 some children. It was truely, a little sad to see. These children were very quite, shy and semed unhappy. It was not a very effectivly run home, it certaintly lacked order. It was sad to watch the children sit to pass time.

After that I returned home with Vanessa for a very quick brief dinner before heading back to Church to attend the 29th night of a 40 day revival that her church put on. This was quite the Haitian cultural experience! With over two thousand people in attendance nearly 20 people accepted Jesus into their lives last night. The singing was long, the preaching was more then passionate and the volume extreme. Haitians seem to really value loud music, preaching, singing etc. The louder the better. I had forgotten my hearing aids at the house and was afraid on the ride to church that I would not be able to hear much. Little did I know that when I arrived at the service I was wishing that I had brought my earplugs, only becuase the volume was so loud! Watching 2000+ plus Haitians worship God is quite a sight!

We returned home to get some rest before the upcoming day. This morning I awoke, prepared myself for the day and went upstairs to join the girls. Standing at the tops of the stairs was a great friend of Vanessas who had stopped by for a visit. This woman has lived in Haiti, from Ohio, for over twenty years. She married a Haitian man and they now have a ministry of sorts out of Cap Haitian. Soon thereafter, Pat, another missionary of sorts stopped over for a visit as well, soone all four of us ladies where sitting around the dinning room table drinking our tea, eating very rare but prized doughnuts and talking endlessly with a little listening here and there. I learned a lot and really enjoyed the chance to talk with three long-time woman missionaries to the country of Haiti, I learned a lot!

In the course of our conversation this morning, the Children of Promise Orphanage became a topic of conversation. Long story short, Vanessa having voiced her long-time desire to visit this orphanage, recieved directions from her friends on how to get there. Immediatly after her girlfriends left, Vanessa and I prepared ourselves as well as her foster child, a 10 month old little Haitian girl, (who is awaiting her adoption process to be completed in order to be recieved by her new parents in Canada - hopefully in one month.) and began our journey into the countryside to find this home for small children 4 years old and younger.

It took over an hour of venturing the crazy roads of Haiti, large, some exceptionally large potholes, some filled with deep water, while others just thick mud. Despite the very bumpy drive, at least the truck we were driving has air conditioning!

When we arrived at the gates of this orphanage, I immediatly had a sense of hope, hope for the children. The drive out to the home was exceptionally beautiful. So very tropical, so very lush and green. Banana trees, sugar cane, large steep and jagged mountains in the distant, with the smell of the ocean not far off. I learned today that Haiti has more mountains then all of Switzerland, and that they are more intense and veritical. I witnessed this today on the drive into the country. Very beautiful. Very beautiful. Go figuare, the camera battery was nearly dead, I did not take more then 5 photos all day long.

We asked for the American directors of the orphanage when we arrived, but instead were greeted by a young 26 year old woman named Mary from South Carolina. Mary is just one semester away from completing her nursing degree, but due to the staffing needs had committed to stay for one year before returning to the states to finish her degree.

Mary has been volunteering at this Orphanage since it began in 2000. The American directors returned the states for the next month and she now is in charge of over 50 children ages 4 and under who are malnourished, test positive for HIV or AIDS, have Tuburculosis, Cerebral Palsey, or some other type of illness. There are many children who are in this very beautiful and very serenly located home who hopefully will be able to eventually return to their families after they are re-nourished, or their symptoms are stabalized. Sometimes the issue is that the parent (s) are too sick to care for the child, and the orphanage works to provide neccessary resources to help the parent (s) get well again so that they can eventually take care of their child. Sometimes the mother dies at birth and the father is not able to care for the child and work at the same time to provide for his other children. The Orphanage will then care for the child until it is able eat solid food, walk etc. in order to be cared for by older brothers or sisters. For other children who are absolutley without parents are capable family to care for them, they are adopted out.

I held a little girl who is 4 months old and weighs almost four and half pounds. The mother has been extremly ill since the birth of her daughter and was unable to feed her child. I held a little baby who is due to die soon, AIDS and Tuberculosis. I got to love on a little2 year old girl who is doing very well after being brought into the home 6 months ago weighing less then 12 pounds. She is now up to 30 pounds and soon to be going to her new adopted families home in the states.

The Home itself is beautiful, the surrounding country-side is tropical and the other woman who are hired to work with the children are so generous and very loving towards the kids. It is a very intimate environment, being sure to provide one on one attention with each child. There is a 1 staff to 3 child ratio. Very good!

I was really inspired and encouraged through what I experienced today, especially after the orphanage experience I had yesterday downtown Port Au Prince. If ever you are looking for a great opportunity to volunteer caring for some extremly precious little babies in an incredibly beautiful environment with very comfortable living quarters, I can give you the info. you need to get on the path to getting there!

On the drive home, we were on a mission as we had to meet up with doctor in order to do some pre-planning for an upcoming event, at the hospital in Cap Haitian. We had less then an hour to get to the destination an hour away. We were ten minutes into town, and just like that, the truck quit. Vanessa went to turn it on again, nothing, it would not even turn over. Immediatly I began to say a prayer outloud. She tried again, nothing. Granted that the people nearby are very friendly, the countryside beautiful, this was not a place to have to spend the night on the side of the muddy road! Long story short, after ten minutes of inspecting the car, a few Haitians suggesting random things, Vanessa tried again, it worked! We drove home, ate lunch, Vanessa met with doctor, and I took a walk through the nearby neighborhood. Many more experiences to share, but we are leaving the house now and I have to sign off. I will write more on Saturday when I return from Limbe where I will attend an area wide council meeting of the Dominican Republic/Haiti Medical Ambassadors yearly meeting. This will give me a lot of knowledge about Medical Ambassadors and how the program works. Adventures Continue!

Thursday was quite the Haitian Cultural experience. I met two woman on the streets. "BLANC! Come here!" they shouted. I did not respond. Again I hear them calling after me, I turned around and began to walk in their direction. They were so excited that I was coming their way that they leaped up from under the shade of the big Bougenvalia Vines they were hiding under for shade, and came running towards me. Embraced by a warm and strong Haitian hug, I instantly made not only new friends, but over the course of the day was adopted into a new Hatian faimly. I am supposed to let others know that I am now half Haitian, so they say. The woman I met are cousins, one is 17 and the other 29. They live together. The 29 year ld woman has two children, is the oldest of nine girls and has only her mother living as her father died in an accident many years ago. They live in nothing but a shack built by cement walls, and scraps of tin and straw for a roof. I spent over five hours with them, living a traditional Haitian afternoon with them. Unfortunatly internet time is up and I must go, but I will expound on this another time. I was so blessed, so honored to be embraced, welcomed and loved by strnagers. Yet, you know the saying, we often entertain "Angels unaware." These two woman are certaintly some of the, "least of these..." in the country of Haiti, yet I tell you what, their HEARTS are HUGE and their LOVE so pure. What a beautiful afternoon that was.

As you know, every Friday, Michael, the founder of these three homes I work within, flies from Port Au Prince to Jacmel in order to do a weekly check-in on the progress of the bakery, as well as assess and accommodate the monitoring program in any he can.

Yesterday, was a another 7 hours in meetings between all of the main leaders of the home:

The Director: Melchi
Assistance Director: Gilmiest
Art Teacher: Julneir
Dance Instructor: Jackie
Sports Coach/in house school teacher: Franzieke

Many issues were covered as well as over view follow up reports on the progress from the prior week.

Michael brought down to the Trinity House with him this last Friday two other people. KC, who is the director of the schooling services at all of the three homes, as well as Michele, a 29 year old man who came to Trinity for a minimum month stay in order to disciple, train and guide the director and assistant director to become the best leaders they can. However, if the director, and or assistance director do not perform to a necessary standard of quality, then Melchi will be taking over their position.

Michele is indeed a Godsend. We know and trust that God knows what we need when we need it. A lot of Haitians are quite timid and shy, not Michele. He is willing to be strong, take a a stand, not sway in his morals, beliefs, values etc. He recently comlpeted a two year term with the Brotherhood of Mother Teresa where he lived for two years in Port Au Prince. He is young, but fresh. He has phenomenal ideas, is very dedicated and disciplined and willing to take into consideration the desires and needs of the house a s a whole rather then jumping in and creating a new system without the go ahead of those who will have to daily walk it ou t.

Today is Micheles first full day in Jacmel, already he has done a tremendous job in instructing and assisting the younger children in their roles that they are responsibile for, as well as beginning to prepare and implement activities for the younger kids during the often idle time.

Michaels main job is to be in charge of prayer times, the disciplinary action/rewards system, as well as hunting for any other info. Neccessary. To improve the quality of this home. I am sorry that I do now know Creole' more fluently yet, as I feel I could be of so much more use. I am learning, however, in Creole'= Pazapa, in English = Step by Step. As I mentioned earlier, there are many changes I am experiencing, yet, I know that things never remain the same. And that is good, we keep learning, growing and being challenged on a level that allows us to mature and develop. For this, I accept it.

When I have more time I will write up and overview of yesterday's meeting. It is interesting to read as it gives a very good idea of where we are in the planning process of implementing more structure, order etc.

Last night I was humbled.

Earlier in the day, I had bought vegetables at Market and some canned tuna from a little hole in the wall store. I had literally just finished eating a salad I had prepared for myself with the tuna on top, as well as the last of the bread I had bought on the street that afternoon. Feeling as if I ate too much bread, amongst other things, such the m&m's I ate the other day and the oily rice and beans that is served to me daily, I was struggling with my self-image and wondering how I've possibly allow myself to be as, 'lazy,' as I have been in controlling my intake of food as well as output of exercise. Apparently I am putting in more calories then I am expending as my body is changing and clothes are no longer fitting the same.

I was allowing myself to indulge in my own little pity-party as I walked outside the front gates of the house. Outside the front gates is where the neighborhood kids hang out waiting for any of our boys to leave the home to play with them. These neighborhood kids are waiting at the gates between 7 AM - 10 PM. These kids come from families too poor to afford to send them to school, let alone feed them much of anything. (I see them frequently digging through our garbage pile, where we dump out our garbage in a pile on the side of the house, looking for any scraps they can find.) There was a small crowd of about 6 children as I walked out the gate. One young boy from Trinity was behind me, 5 of the 6 children waiting outside of the gate, followed Ralph to go play soccer with him.

The remaining young boy, maybe 12 or 13 years old, leaned nearly motionless curled up in fetal position against a cement wall, next to the gate. 'Como rele?' "What is your name?" I asked. He replied, but his voice was so faint I could not make his name out, even after asking a second time. He then looked up into my eyes and in a shakey, quiet voice, said, "grangou...". "Como?" "What?" I asked. "Hungry." He replied.

Taking a quick mental inventory of what I had in my room for food, I told him to wait there, and that I'd be back soon. I made up a large bowl of oatmeal and raisens and poured full cream canned milk in it. I took it out to him as soon as it was ready and sat with him as he ate. In watching him, I was humbled.

How often it is I take for granted things that so many here not only desperatly desire, but absolutely need for survival. How often it is that my perspective is not correct, how easy it is to be lazy in my thinking, reverting to old ways of thinking, rather then being strong in my mind and recognizing the value of what I have and why.

I have access to food. Not only food in and of itself, but a variety of good/clean food and an abundance of healthy choices (in America.) I have a healthy body, so as long as I allow it to be. So as long as I take care of it. So as long as I love it and cherish it as the Temple of the Holy Spirit that it is. It is easy to want to deprive myself, or beat myself up emotionally or simply believe I am not good enough and punish myself by trying to 'control,' my body. Control the intake of food, control my body fat and muscle mass. Control me, myself and I.

Did you hear that?!

ME, MYSELF, AND I.

How easy it is to get caught up in selfishness, self-centeredness even when it is the furthest thing from my desire. The fears that I associate with food, fat and laziness, have prevented me from being free for so long. And here is a little 12 or 13 year old, too tired due to being malnurished, to get up and go play soccer with the rest of the boys, because he does not have the strength to play.

With every spoonful of oatmeal he put into his mouth, he was constantly looking around, as if he feared someone else may try to steal his food from him. With every bite he took, he inhaled and exhaled a big deep breath. With every sigh he made, my heart was that much more sobbered.

Freedom, as I wrote about in the prior post. In the Bible, in Galations it states that it was for freedom that Christ has set us free, no longer to be subject to the yoke of slavery, and with our freedom we should not be selfish, but love others through the gift of freedom we have because of His love for us. I am free in America, in a lot of ways that people in Haiti are bound, but I am bound in Amaerica in a lot of ways that the people of Haiti are free.

We all have our weaknesses, our demons, our thorn in the side. This I know, is not by accident. How could we recognize our need for Someone more powerful then ourselves who enables us to live a deeper, richer life, more meaningful life through Him, if we had no way of realizing in and of ourselves we are weak. God allows me to struggle with self-image so that I can learn to trust, just as someone else may struggle with gambling, or drugs etc. It's all a matter of perspective. Rather then thinking that our struggle is a bad thing, I believe we ought to rejoice and be thankful, that through our struggles we are made stronger, if we approach them correctly.

It's all a matter of our heart. What truely do we desire, how dedicated are we really to ourselves when it comes to making good, healthy, positive choices for our lives. Seeing others literally dying because they dont have what you deny yourself when you have it in abundance, is a really humbling way to be reminded and to recognize once again, that you are in need of Someone more powerful then yourself to be strong on your behalf.

I continue to ask for lessons throughout my days here. I ask that my eyes be wide-open, that my heart be open and receptive and that I dont let an opportunity pass me by. Most of my lessons are challenging, they reveal to me my selfish ways, the show me how spoiled I am and how I can take things for granted. At the same time I learn how rich I am, how lucky I am to be exactly who I am in every way, physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually.

The children of Haiti are hungry. They have little food, many have little love, as there are so many that live on the streets, and spiritually, they have little knowledge.

I am thankful for who I am, where I am and that Christ is my strength, my Savior, just as He is for every Haitian, every Human. The key is that each person be made aware of His love, and unconditional acceptance.

Free with the freedom of Spirit, I give expression to the qualities of my sacred soul.

What does it mean to be free? It's about our being free from restrictions on our time and actions. Its about our freedom to choose what we think and believe. Freedom can be defined in as many ways as there are people in the world, yet spiritual freedom encompasses so much more then we can imagine.

Spiritual freedom uplifts us in consciousness so that we have an awareness of God's all-pervading presence. We know to accept nothing less then our freedom to express the attributes of Spirit inherent within us.

We move beyond any previous boundaries that seem to limit our creativity. We are free from any thought, substance or habit that could come between us and our expression of the qualities of our sacred soul.

"Christ has liberated us into freedom. Therefore, stand firm and don't submit again to the yoke of slavery." Galations 5:1

"...for you are called to freedom, brothers; only don't use this freedom as an opportunity for the flesh, but serve one another through love."
Galations 5:13

"...I say then, walk in the Spirit and you will not carry out the desires of the flesh.

I did some research this morning about freedom. I feel bound in my thinking often. I am so human. My flesh desires things I know are not right, yet the right things don't always feel good. This is where faith gets to be practiced. Trusting that Gods ways are the best ways. In the long run, they always are.

I have lived a long time with a bound Spirit, at least that's what I believed. As you can read from what I wrote above, it is obvious that there is freedom in Christ. Christ lives in me, therefore I am free! My Spirit is free and I am allowed to express my creativity in the ways that God designed me to do! I do not need to hold back or slink away out of fear, but rather take a stand and be courageous, doing what He has laid on my heart to do.

WALK IN FREEDOM

LOVE OTHERS

EXPRESS MY UNIQUE CREATIVE SACRED SPIRIT

Nothing in Haiti is predictable. I have not posted very much in the last week due to means beyond my control. Granted that I have written four days, approx. An hour each time, only to have the power go out, or the satellite experience problems just moments before being ready to post my message. FOUR TIMES this week! The fourth time was five minutes ago. I just typed up an hours worth of updates, and I lost is all again! This time I am going to write a small update and post and then if I have time do a second post so that you get at least a little information from me!

Haitian Culture is 180 degrees from that of America. The mentality remains to be, "whatever will be will be..." Taking initiative and following through are two areas that Haitians are not experienced in. As my room-mate put it, changes often occur at glacial speed. With attempting to implement this new program of structure and order at the Trinity House, making changes, combined with Haitian culture...I am seeing the truth of that statement, changes are occurring at glacial speed. I know it does not help that I do not know the language well and communication is not as smooth blanc to Haitian as it is Haitian to Haitian.

Paula is a woman that recently accepted the offer to be on the board of directors for the Homes. She was born in Haiti, lived in America for over 25 years and now lives permanently back in Haiti with her mother and two daughters. Paula speaks perfect English though her first language is Creole'. Paula roasts the coffee that we will be selling at the coffee shop/bakery, she is also an phenomenal artist.

Because of the many year in America, Paula knows the practicality of some of our American ways re: order and structure etc. I asked Paula if she would be willing to assist Claude and I in translating to Melchee and Gilmiest during a meeting we needed to have with them.

Last Friday when Michael, (the founder) came to visit the home from Port Au Prince, we had hours and hours of meetings with the boys. After a couple of days of digesting and formulating ideas, Claude and I came up with some ideas of new ways of doing things with the consideration of the boys request in the home. There was a lot to cover, and no way we could do this in a timely manner blanc to Haitian.

Paula was delighted to help us out, and boy, did she ever! Our meeting was under two hours, and went very well! Paula is a strong woman, emotionally and physically. She stands up for what she believes in and has excellent ideas/suggestions. I had an hour long meeting with Paula the day before the meeting with Melchee and Gilmiest to over everything with her. The next day during our meeting she was able to translate everything we needed to cover and speak to the Haitians on a level and in a way that they understood and accepted. When you ask a Haitian to do something, you have to be very firm, very frank, and make it known that you EXPECT it to be done. Thanks to Paula we got a lot accomplished and are in the implementation stage.

A few examples of what we have going at the moment are:

*I have devised up a new chore list. This has the boys name and chore listed with a box to check off every day of the week. If the boy successfully does his chore everyday of the week, has all seven boxes checked, he will receive his allowance and a sticker on the chore sheet for that week. If at the end of the month he has four stickers he is then eligible to go on the monthly grand outing, which will be something such as a boat trip to a neighboring village etc. The boy is required to check off the chore sheet before 6:30 am. Gilmiest then goes around to verify that all the chores are done well. Those who do not do their chore well, or do not check off before 6:30 am go without breakfast. They then have a half hour to do their chore and do it well, if they don't, they receive the punishment of digging for three hours, or garbage hole that extends down in the ground, or they are put outside the gates until ten pm. Life inside the gates is much better then life outside the gates! Melchee is working today on creating a detailed explanation of every chore that the boys do so that boys know what is required of them. This will be posted on the kitchen wall, next to the check-off sheet. The whole idea of this is to instill responsibility and discipline for the boys, allowing them to be rewarded for great actions/behaviors. It was interesting that when asked what they would change about the house, during the one on one interviews we had with the boys; 11 out of 17 boys said they wanted more structure and discipline.

*The older boys will be assigned to an additional responsibility in order to give them an opportunity to invest in the lives of their younger, 'siblings,' as well as develop their leadership potential. Four areas that will be delegated out are:

*Being in charge of the Bikes: We currently have seven bikes that do not work. We have acquired funds to fix them and are currently working on that. When the bikes are ready to be ridden, the assigned boy will have the responsibility of checking in and out the bicycles during the specified times they can be ridden, doing repairs/maintenance and properly storing them.

*Being in charge of Art Supplies: We have a lot of neat art supplies that aren't being utilized simply because there is no designated place to store, or use them. In one corner of the house I am filling up a dresser with the art supplies that will be available to be check in and out . The manager of these supplies will be responsible for maintaining the supplies, checking them in and out, as well as making note of what needs to be replaced.

*Assisting Young Kids Activities: One of the mentioned needs was that the smaller kids have more activities. Twice a week this boy will be responsible for doing some activity outside the house such as going to the beach, or playing soccer etc.

*Prayer meetings. We meet for prayer two times a day. Certain boys pray or read on certain days. We came up with the idea that the boys that read one day ought to meet the prior evening to overview what will be presented, to practice and prepare. This boy is in charge of scheduling the boys days to pray and the nights they will meet and see to it that the meetings happen.

This again is in attempt to allow the older boys a chance to learn leadership. They all have so much potential! Also to help Gilmiest and Melchee delegate some responsibilities that they are either not assisting in, or feel they must take on themselves, giving them more work then they need to be doing. This allows them to focus on other more important areas of responsibility.

OK, enough about that for now...I have written this up four times and am tired of talking this topic!

Claude left for Port Au Prince this morning. He is going to Wings of Hope to do some washing machine maintenance that he is in charge of. He'll be gone approx. a week. I will be busy observing and enforcing rules, as well as participating in classes such as dance, art and paper mache'.

It has been so hot out the last few days and nights, that I am sleeping up n the roof to keep cooler. Because we are right on the water there is a nice cool breeze. Because of the lack of electricity in Haiti, there are very few lights at night, therefore the sky is lit up very brightly. The stars are beautiful especially as they reflect off of the ocean, amazing.

I have been learning the ropes of Haiti, and am very comfortable with caution and awareness in this town. Jacmel is much like Sitka, where I come from. It is a quaint little fishing village where everyone knows everyone and people are very friendly. Because I am the only young, white, blond hair, blue eyed woman in Jacmel, a lot of people know me by name, and daily people tell me they have been waiting to meet me. I have three very special and precious little boys whose parents cannot afford to send them to school so they play on the streets all day. They wait for me to walk down town and follow me with big huge grins everywhere I go. Son Son, John, and Amiston. Precious!

I am looking forwards to writing more, my time at the internet cafe is up, and I am typed out! Again, thank you all who pray for me, these prayers are priceless for me. My time here is great, but not without challenges. Love to you from me!

Having just spent over and hour and a hand typing up an email, to loose it due to a blackout, I may not write with a lot of descritiption. But, here I go!

Yesterday in Jacmel was Karnival. This is an annual celebration where people make their own huge masks out of Paper Marche.' For over 12 hours the strrets arr absolutely packed with people. Literally, there are people shoulder to shoulder of one another. It began near 11 AM and it did not end until nearly 5 AM the next morning. Claude and I began our walk to get to where we would watch the Karnival from, and in the meantime we acquored four lirrl boys with whom I shared the entire day and evening with. It was interesting, not really my idea of a huge load of fun, but intereting nevertheless.

Today we a busy day at the home.

At 9 AM my friend Paula who went to the states and resided there since she was very young. She now lives here in Jacmel, has a family of two very precious little girls. Paula recently joined the board of directors for Hearts with Haiti. She is now directly involved with the homes, though has not had a lot of exposer to the hpmes. Paula is going to meet up with Gilmiest and Mecheist tomorrow morning so that I can adequately relay the messesge I an trying to say.

Paula is going to be a volunteer at the homem

Today we had a group from Canada called Healing Hands. They are a a medical relief team focusing on physical, occupational, speech and financial levels. This team came to the house today and performed an overall/general health assessnet on each boy. This helped a lot as we have very little information about the children, we now will have a foundation for each of the work from.

Thanks for taking the time to read, I will be writing again soon,

Rebekh

Seven and a half hours and many boys later I finally recieved the neccessary data needed to develop an appropriate system of order and structure within the Trinity House. Micheal, the founder of the three orphanages I am working in, visits the Trinity House here in Jacmel every Friday to check up on the progress of the development/construction of the bakery, as well as assist Claude and I in any way possible during this implementation of structure/mentoring process. Now that there is a direct flight from Port Au Prince to Jacmel, arriving in the morning and leaving in the afternoon, Michael is able to come on a weekly basis, which is a huge help!

For seven and a half hours, Claude and I sat, (on our very sore buttocks from the horse sattles!) in my room, meeting individually with each director, and then again with the two of them together, as well as with each individual boy of the home. We asked for truth and honosty as we did an inventory of sorts. We questioned each boy individually with some of the following questions:

*How do you spell your name?

*What is your age? (Most do not even know their birthdate...only approximate year)

*What is your daily chore? How often a day do you do your chore?

*Do you like school? What is your grade average in school? (Unfortunatly most of the boys are not doing really well in school. The average grade is a 'D'. This is due to lack of individual attention in the school system.)

*What are some of your interests? (interests focused mostly on football(soccar), dance, swimming at the ocean, and art. Some mentioned things such as wanting to become a lawyer, a plumber and mechanic and a journalist.)

*In regards to implementing a new system of rewarding good behavior, what would you like to have for rewards? (the verdict was a 50/50 split between money and a big monthly outing such as a boat trip or a trip up the Basin Blue Falls etc.)

*If you were in Melchee's place as a director, what changes would you make in the house? Most responses were as follows:

-More order and structure in the Home.

-The younger boys would have more individual attention, more activities for them to participate in and better explanatoin of expectations

-More House meetings to explain expectations, review of rules, talk between the brothers any important issues, provide opportunity to support/encourage one another more.

-The leaders in the home would provide more encouragement to the boys to strive to be the best that they can be.

-The leaders would lead by example.

-A reward system for jobs well done.

-More accountability of the where-abouts of the boys.

-Less noise in the home.

-More team building, talk about the importance of being brothers.

-Make the Home, more comfortable, add decorations, furniture etc.

All of the above statements are suggestions and ideas that the boys themselves told us they wanted to see done in their own home. 95 percent of the boys asked for more structure/order and discipline. Isn't that interesting?!

With the work Claude and I have done with Melchee and Gilmiest this far, the following things have been accomplished and are developing on a continued basis, aiming for consistant follow-through:

*The boys are no longer sleeping anywhere they want to, but are required to sleep in their beds in the dormitory and are to be in bed by 10 PM on weekdays and 11PM on Friday and Satruday nights.

*Because the boys are given two meals a day, breakfast and lunch, (lunch being a large portion of rice, beans and a piece of meat, either chicken or beef)the boys eat half their lunch and save the rest for dinner time. Prior to my arrival, the boys would stash their food in empty cupboards, drawers, the oven etc. until a later time whenever they were hungry again and would return to eat their dinner. This resulted in a houseful of rice and beans scattered here and there, creating a lovely environment for insects such as ants, mice and cockroaches to thrive in. This system was put to a quick halt. The suggestion given to Melchee was that each boy be bought a cover protecting their food from the flies etc. and be marked with their name. When they are done eating they are to cover their food with the cover, and leave it on the designated counter. The food then can be eaten anytime up until 7:30 PM when anything not eaten is given to the neighborhood kids and dishes are washed and the kitchen cleaned by 8PM. This has been working well.

*Some of the boys are still wetting the bed. We have been working to create a system of taking these 5 boys to the bathroom every night at 10 PM and waking them again at 3 AM allowing them to relieve themselves in hopes of stopping the bedwetting. In the morning after morning prayer, any boy that did not wet the bed is given a reward. This seems to be helping as on average now only one or two boys wets the bed during a given night.

*A realistic schedule that can be consistantly adhered to is in the works. This is encompassing morning and evening prayer time, times to do chores, school, study time after school all classes, (art - drawing, dance, paper mache', football(soccar) and bed time. So far the progress made is that Prayer time begins every morning by the bell ringing at 4:50 AM, all the boys and I go to the dinning room where we arrange the chairs in a circle and have approximetly 15 minutes of singing and prayers.

The above are just a few examples of what has been implemented this far. We have a very large list of things changes we see as neseccary, however, it is very obvious that only one change at a time can happen. So it will be a day by day process.

What do you envision when thoughts of Costa Rica flow through your mind...or Fiji, Tahiti, or Jamaica? Waterfalls, lush green rainforests, clear blue green ocean waters, palm trees, white sandy beaches complete with local fisherman picky squirmy fish out of the nets on the shoreside just a few yards away from you. Or do you consider the beauty of the local scented flowers such as Boogunvalias, Plumerias etc. and the surrounding fruit trees, such as Pineapples and Bananas, Mangos and Papayas? Me too. These are the things I think of when I consider the tropics, or places in the Caribbean.

Would you believe me if I said all of these things are true about Haiti as well? They are. I experienced it again a couple of days ago. Last Thursday, Claude and I spent the entire morning and afternoon obtaining some serious saddle sores, as we rode horses into the deep heart of the Haitian coujntryside. As we ascended the steep mountains trails to our ultimate destination, the views were what your ideal images of paradise woud be. Deep, dark ,rich and vibrant blues filled my views. The lightness of the big blue skies contrasted by the depths of the deep blue ocean.

The higher our horses took us up the mountain, the wider my view of the horizon. I could see the curvature of the earth, so it seemed. The forests, despite what you may have heard or read before, are rich with life. Very green and plush. There are fruit trees and flowers, beautiful people and animals scattered throughout. Haiti really is an unknown paradise. I am afraid that due to false reportings, many would not believe this until they see it. Should you desire a tremendously rich vacation spot and are not afraid of American media reports, I highly suggest Haiti.

When we reached the destination of our journey, the Basin Bleu Waterfalls, we tied up the horses, and walked another mile to to head of the falls. Stunning. I viewed the falls for only a few minutes before diving into the refreshing water. Powerful, bold, this waterfall is high. We had a guide that led us to the falls after the horse rifde there, he, much lke tarzan, climbed up a 75 foot rock, grabbed ahold of a nearby vine and ran and jumped into the large pool of water...what a sight! I swam under the falls into a cave that is hidden behind the water. Granted it was very loud, it was so peaceful in that dark cold cave. Something about the feeling of protection in the midst of chaos. A m uch needed thing these days in our world!

The return trip was even more beautiful then the way there, despite it being the same route. Coming down the mountain we got to view the ocean, as well as the overview of the island of Haiti and the lazy town fishing town of Jacmel, most of the way. Riding the horse back to the owners after descneding the mountain was like being a princess carried in her chair during the midsts of a large parade. Claude and I were center of attention as the two white, 'blancs,' riding horses down the little alley ways conjested with home dwellers. "Bon Swa!" (Good Afternoon!) I would say, always to be returned with a big but sheepish grin and a loud ,"Bon Swa!" The people of Haiti are eager to great you warmly with big smalls and waves. Over all the day was a real treat. Claude had set this up in advance and I got to go along for the ride not having a solid idea of what exactly I was in for. This was a great opportunity for me to see the heart of Haiti, the deep jungle life, the rich spirits of country side people, life on yet another realm.

Due to not wanting to loose this email before sending it, I will not be spell checking this document, please disregard the many following typoes!

Having spent over and hour and a half typing a very long update yesterday, only to have the city power go out just as I was about to post my message, I am not so detailed orientated this time! I lost everything I had written, but I learned through it. I learend that the many experiences I have had that I was writing to share with you about, are no less valuable simply because I could not share them with you through my email. Actually, it helped me to realize that the experiences I have had are even that much more meaningful, simply because I am learning how to value the moment simply because I exist. Not because I have to create, construct, plan and carry out some marvelous or extravagandant experience to be able to share with others in order to validate the worth of my experience. Nope. My experiences have been rich. Very rich. I only wish you could be here with me to experience them with me.

For example, this morning, I was up at 4:30 AM to prepare for the 5 AM morning prayer time. After that I did my work-out, hugged all of the boys good-bye for school (they leave the house byt 6:30 AM to walk to school) did a time of personal meditation, had a leadership meeting with Claude, Melchee and Julmiste and then headed down to town. Before ariving here at the internet cafe, Claude and I stopped at the, "sisters of Charity," home for the sick and abandonded. This is a home that Mother Theresa started up. It was good for me to walk through this home.

This is a home for the abandoned, neglected, very ill and mentally challenged. I met many very ill people, babies, adolescents,adults and geriatrics who have diseases ranging from TB, AIDS, Malaria, Typhoid, malnutrition etc. MOther Catherine showed Claude and I around today and gave us a very in depoths view of the program. Some of these children have fluid on the brain, their heads are swollen so largely. Some of the residents are mentally challlneged,, and although they are clean, they are covered in flies as there are not enough workers to spent invidivual one on one time with every resident, and this particular resident cannot lift his arms, or stop smiling. Therefore, flies covered his mouth, rested on his eyes, andswarmed all around him. He has no function and cannot fend them off. I went over and gave himn a big hug...his never ending smile became that much bigger...

Many great changes have been taking palce at Trinity/ Claude and I have been working together with the directors of the home, Melchee and Julmiste to create a program with structure and order including disciplinary actions/rewards, organizing chores, who does what when, detailing community living expectations amoung the boys etc. This is a challenging process at times when you accept a role with no rules, no expectation and no guidelines to follow, other then using your own intuition and gut feeling that leads you to make the neccessary decision that seem best for that moment. Teaching two Haitian men in their mid-twenties, who have been like a father to the 19 boys for the last 6 years, leadership skills, and general living skills when you do not know the language, is quite a task! Nevertheless, it is happening. Already in the last few days we have made significant progress. The house is in much better order, we have ordered supplies to build more shelves and dressers and cabinets, we are buynig baskets in order to better organize things, we have establisheda code of conduct and honor for the boys to live by that enables them the opportunity to not only learn to respct those in authority over them, but themselves as well. Remember - these are street boys, some come from gangs...some from very harsh environments...they have a lot to learn! WIth that said, I am so proud of the boys already. They are taking the cues and utliizing tools they are given and making good progress.

We have a soccar field directly next to the home. Trinity House ownsalarg peice of land that will be built on one day when we expand. In the meantime it is being used as a soccar field. Claude generously dontated money to have a bulldozer come and plow the soccar field flat, as for thelast week the boys have been out there with brooms attempting to, 'flatten,' the field and level the grounds. Monday-Thursdays at 4:30 - 6PM the boys of Trinity House as well as many local neighborhood children are taught how to play soccar. The same 25 year old handsome young Haitian who teaches the local neighborhood kids school through the Trinity House outreach program, is the soccar coach as well. The kids are absolutely thrilled to be able to have this new field!

The outreach to the local neighborhood children consist of approximatly 15 children. Most of these children are very malnourished and find it difficult at times to concentrate. Unfortunatly Trinity House does not currently have the f unds to have a feeding program for these kids. They are sent home after school having arrived to school with no food, only to leave to go home, to little if any food at all. Every day they come running to my door as they know I always have a supply of cnady on had. "Mwen Grangou!!" (I am hungery!) they say. My heart is broken. I cannot do enough...but I continue to hold and love and assist these children anyway that I can in the given moment.

Yesterday I prayed for a divine appointment. Ask and you shall recieve. I was in a l,ocal bank and saw a white man...(not many of those around!) I said, "Bon Swa!" (good MOrning!) and he replied with a "hello!" I walkd around the corner only to return back this white man, asking him where he was from. Long story short, this man is here in Jacmel, Haiti with Youth With A Mission. He is a staff member from the Wisconsin base, doing their outreach here in HAiti. THere is actually an YWAM base here in Jacmel that is staffed by 5 other people,one man I met from Virginia. I myself did a Discipleship Training School through Youth WIth A Mission in Townsville, AUstralia in 1998. I know YWAM very well and having met other YWAM'ers, is essentially meeting family. So once again, I have found more family, even here in Haiti, and am looking forwards to going to visit them and their base this evening.

The weather is warming up. Nearly daily I take the kids to the beach. Two days ago the boys all recieved haircuts, they are now all nearly bald. Having ten naked bald headed black Haitian boys swimming under the glaring hot sunshine in the ocean makes for a difficult time of recognizing who is who! The beach is visible from our home,it is about a five- ten minute walk to the ocean. It is a scene from a ad for a Caribbean vacation. The natural beauty here is extravagant. You would never know that the way American media portrays Haiti.

Yes there are protests going on due to the elections, the planes quit flying again and many roadsare blocked off, creating the impossibility of peoplegoing anywhere. In Jacmel the demonstrations are not bad. Port Au Prince and some of the larger cities are having a lot of political unrest. I am not affected too badley here, fortunatly there is no violence or outbursts taking place at this time.

I will post this quickly asI am afraid of loosing my work again. The power has been on a long time, its due to be shut off anytime now. I love you all and I am very happy to be able to report to you that things are well.

Due to not wanting to loose this email before sending it, I will not be spell checking this document, please disregard the many following typoes!

Having spent over and hour and a half typing a very long update yesterday, only to have the city power go out just as I was about to post my message, I am not so detailed orientated this time! I lost everything I had written, but I learned through it. I learend that themany experiences I have had that I was writing to share with you about, are no less valuable simply because I could not share them with you through my email. Actually, it helped me to realize that the experiences I have had are even that much more meaningful, simply because I am learning how to value the moment simply because I exist. Not because I have to create, construct, plan and carry out some marvelous or extravagandant experience to be able to share with others in order to validate the worth of my experience. Nope. My experiences have been rich. Very rich. I only wish you could be here with me to experience them with me.

For example, this morning, I was up at 4:30 AM to prepare for the 5 AM morning prayer time. After that I did my work-out, hugged all of the boys good-bye for school (they leave the house byt 6:30 AM to walk to school) did a time of personal meditation, had a leadership meeting with Claude, Melchee and Julmiste and then headed down to town. Before ariving here at the internet cafe, Claude and I stopped at the, "sisters of Charity," home for the sick and abandonded. This is a home that Mother Theresa started up. It was good for me to walk through this home.

This is a home for the abandoned, neglected, very ill and mentally challenged. I met many very ill people, babies, adolescents,adults and geriatrics who have diseases ranging from TB, AIDS, Malaria, Typhoid, malnutrition etc. MOther Catherine showed Claude and I around today and gave us a very in depoths view of the program. Some of these children have fluid on the brain, their heads are swollen so largely. Some of the residents are mentally challlneged,, and although they are clean, they are covered in flies as there are not enough workers to spent invidivual one on one time with every resident, and this particular resident cannot lift his arms, or stop smiling. Therefore, flies covered his mouth, rested on his eyes, andswarmed all around him. He has no function and cannot fend them off. I went over and gave himn a big hug...his never ending smile became that much bigger...

Many great changes have been taking palce at Trinity/ Claude and I have been working together with the directors of the home, Melchee and Julmiste to create a program with structure and order including disciplinary actions/rewards, organizing chores, who does what when, detailing community living expectations amoung the boys etc. This is a challenging process at times when you accept a role with no rules, no expectation and no guidelines to follow, other then using your own intuition and gut feeling that leads you to make the neccessary decision that seem best for that moment. Teaching two Haitian men in their mid-twenties, who have been like a father to the 19 boys for the last 6 years, leadership skills, and general living skills when you do not know the language, is quite a task! Nevertheless, it is happening. Already in the last few days we have made significant progress. The house is in much better order, we have ordered supplies to build more shelves and dressers and cabinets, we are buynig baskets in order to better organize things, we have establisheda code of conduct and honor for the boys to live by that enables them the opportunity to not only learn to respct those in authority over them, but themselves as well. Remember - these are street boys, some come from gangs...some from very harsh environments...they have a lot to learn! WIth that said, I am so proud of the boys already. They are taking the cues and utliizing tools they are given and making good progress.

We have a soccar field directly next to the home. Trinity House ownsalarg peice of land that will be built on one day when we expand. In the meantime it is being used as a soccar field. Claude generously dontated money to have a bulldozer come and plow the soccar field flat, as for thelast week the boys have been out there with brooms attempting to, 'flatten,' the field and level the grounds. Monday-Thursdays at 4:30 - 6PM the boys of Trinity House as well as many local neighborhood children are taught how to play soccar. The same 25 year old handsome young Haitian who teaches the local neighborhood kids school through the Trinity House outreach program, is the soccar coach as well. The kids are absolutely thrilled to be able to have this new field!

The outreach to the local neighborhood children consist of approximatly 15 children. Most of these children are very malnourished and find it difficult at times to concentrate. Unfortunatly Trinity House does not currently have the f unds to have a feeding program for these kids. They are sent home after school having arrived to school with no food, only to leave to go home, to little if any food at all. Every day they come running to my door as they know I always have a supply of cnady on had. "Mwen Grangou!!" (I am hungery!) they say. My heart is broken. I cannot do enough...but I continue to hold and love and assist these children anyway that I can in the given moment.

Yesterday I prayed for a divine appointment. Ask and you shall recieve. I was in a l,ocal bank and saw a white man...(not many of those around!) I said, "Bon Swa!" (good MOrning!) and he replied with a "hello!" I walkd around the corner only to return back this white man, asking him where he was from. Long story short, this man is here in Jacmel, Haiti with Youth With A Mission. He is a staff member from the Wisconsin base, doing their outreach here in HAiti. THere is actually an YWAM base here in Jacmel that is staffed by 5 other people,one man I met from Virginia. I myself did a Discipleship Training School through Youth WIth A Mission in Townsville, AUstralia in 1998. I know YWAM very well and having met other YWAM'ers, is essentially meeting family. So once again, I have found more family, even here in Haiti, and am looking forwards to going to visit them and their base this evening.

The weather is warming up. Nearly daily I take the kids to the beach. Two days ago the boys all recieved haircuts, they are now all nearly bald. Having ten naked bald headed black Haitian boys swimming under the glaring hot sunshine in the ocean makes for a difficult time of recognizing who is who! The beach is visible from our home,it is about a five- ten minute walk to the ocean. It is a scene from a ad for a Caribbean vacation. The natural beauty here is extravagant. You would never know that the way American media portrays Haiti.

Yes there are protests going on due to the elections, the planes quit flying again and many roadsare blocked off, creating the impossibility of peoplegoing anywhere. In Jacmel the demonstrations are not bad. Port Au Prince and some of the larger cities are having a lot of political unrest. I am not affected too badley here, fortunatly there is no violence or outbursts taking place at this time.

I will post this quickly asI am afraid of loosing my work again. The power has been on a long time, its due to be shut off anytime now. I love you all and I am very happy to be able to report to you that things are well.

Imagine again with me for a moment if you will, sitting next to an eighteen year old man who is delighted to be talking with an english speaking woman. Not because I am white, not because I am woman, because I speak english. Here in Haiti they know that you at least have a chance if you speak english. The better your english the better your chances. This man is vibrant, passionate and very motivated. This man is proud to tell me that he is in the second grade. (did you catch that...the 2nd grade) He wants to become a medical doctor. Ponder that for a moment....

My time runs out ever so quickly when I am at these internet cafes'! I must write quickly, which unfortunatly means I must leave out details, please imagine a little to fill in the blanks, but catch the bigger message.

This last week has been spent getting to know the boys I am living with. Through participating in daily classes such as art and dance, chores, preparing meals etc. I have been developing relationships built on trust. I have spent many hours observing, as well as interacting. My position as a mentor at the Trinity House has been an assignment with no rules, no outline to follow, no format to abide by, but rather, here are some boys that need some assistance. WOW! Thats a lot to consider!

Having been here a week, God has given me indeed, divine wisdom to know what to do when and how to go about doing these things. I have been getting to know, and gain the trust and respect of the director and assistant director of the home. In turn they have asked for advice and suggestions on their behalf regarding the home and their roles.

Long story short, my purpose here, has been revealed. My many years of therapy, residental treatment programs etc. are beggining to be put to use! ALthough I have been given no specific expectations of the role I am to play here at the Home, it is very obvious what I am capable of, and what is desired of me. I am here to help implement structure. To create a program. Develop guidelines, rules and a daily schedule that is abided by. To create a disciplinary system, rewards-consequences.

My role, I have come to determine, is not to implement these changes myself, but to help create needed structure, assisting the directors by providing them training and guidance so that they can be empowered to more effectively do their jobs, thereby bettering the lives of the boys.

Michael, the founder and overseer of all the homes came to visit from Port Au Prince today. We had a very intense house meeting, to say the least. Did I say intense? Maybe heated..no hard, challenging, in your face...all of these words work to explain the events of the last 10 hours. Nevertheless, it was all very much needed. In a nutshell, the directors of Trinity House and the boys under their care are - simply stated, LAZY. That is changing as of today. Between Michael (head director) Melchee and Gilmiest (directors of Trinity House) the boys and I, we had some seriously specific topics of conversation. I dont know that the boys are going to be so warm and friendly with me tonight...but I trust they will thank me in the long run. (notice I am at the cyber cafe and not the house right now! I thought I'd give them a chance to think while I am not around. Just because I dont know Creole' doesnt mean I can get my message across!) Michael flew back to Port Au Prince today and will return in a week. He claims excitement that I am here to assist in implementing these changes. If changes dont get made, a new director will be hired.

*He is not depending on me to make these changes, or be the reason why changes are made or not made...He is just glad that someone can be there to be accountable to in the event that the directors be willing to better themselves and the family.*

Oh my life is so random! You never know what a day is going to bring!
Time is up ...already!! I will write more as soon as I can! Prayer for wisdom will be gladly accepted! I love you so much!

Some things to consider:

* Do roosters ever grow out of puberty stage?

I have yet to hear a rooster crow without its voice cracking at minimum twice during a 'cockadoodooldooooooooo.' I know this, I hear them consistently throughout the day, especially between the hours of 3-6 AM!

* Imagine going to market with the anticipation of buying specific items, looking not only at the large outdoor market where you would most likely expect to find the desired item(s), but going from little shack shops to street vendors to independent sellers looking for something as basic as a head of cabbage, or bananas, or a deck of playing cards, or even peanut butter!! These are four items that I have spent up to five hours on a given day, searching for. Three times I have walked home empty handed. Things are a bit scarce, though there seems to be huge plethora of specific things such as rock salt, plantain, and macaroni noodles. You learn how to make do with what you can find. Life is simple here in Haiti, basic. You take what you can get and you find the joy in it while counting your blessings.

* Imagine being a man of fifty-five years old with a family of six, having a college education and being unable to find work. The only possible job is to work for yourself, wheeling a wheel-barrow piled high with items such as rice, Haitian grapefruits, (macaroni noodles of course!) oil, and any other item a person may purchase for their home, from the market to the purchasers home. Now, imagine this: It is 95 degrees outside, your wheel-barrow has a dented tire rim and a tire that slowly leaks. Your destination is 4.5 miles away up and down multiple rocky hills. The 'roads,' to the homes are much more like unkept trails up a dry rocky mountain passes; nothing to be considered a delightful walk upon, let a lone wheeling a 100 pound load of grains and such, up and down. Now, imagine doing this for a mere pay of 3 American dollars. This is how you support your family, as an educated man, in a country that is desperate for order.

One of the boys in the Trinity Home is a son of the man described above. This man, Jack-Pierre wheeled, one of three carts we had to hire out in order to get all of the materials/food we had to purchase for the home for the following 5 days. What a humbling experience to observe. This man, as I saw most do, walked this grueling journey barefoot.

*Imagine being 24 years old, having received education up until the 9th grade, desiring to be, and being fully capable of being fully educated through college, but having no funds to pay for tuition to buy a uniform, or the annual tuition is costs to attend public school in Haiti. This is the case of the man that lives across the street from me.

*Imagine being nine years old, drug into prison in Port Au Prince Haiti with your mother because of your activity in the gang that mammas boyfriend introduced you to. Then...having the police release mom, but not you, because you contain vital information and shared this info. with the police regarding activities of the gang. If you were to be released you would probably be killed, as gang members know you have shared info. Then, once the opportunity to leave prison, and enter into Trinity House becomes a possibility, the request is to never tell momma where you are. Mom does not know. If she did, she would probably kill him.

These are the realities of country in turmoil, a world in chaos.

The good news is that we have a hope. That hope is Jesus, and the boys in this home believe this. I have the opportunity to share this hope and encourage them with His love. What an honor.

Haiti has been locked for 20 some years now. Elections have continued to be post-ponned. Today is the long awaited re-election day, we can only hope that this will result in a positive response allowing the country to begin to move forward again without the current devestation it has been experiencing for so long.

Most everything is shut down, cars and motorcycles are not allowed to be driven, airplanes are not flying, schools are shut down etc. all in hopes that this will lessen the chances of danger, violence, and protests resulting in deaths.

There is an internet cafe that is actually open today, fortunatly I was able to get here, as I have much that I want to share.

Yesterday was maybe one of my favorite days in Haiti. A couple of boy s, Ralph and Mackendy took my down to the Cyber Cafe where I emailed from yesterday. On the way home I noticed a boat being rowed into shore from a distance. I vaguely mentioned that I would lov to go out on a boat someday. Ralph, who was on a bicycle quickly rode over to a man a few hundred yards away on the beach and was away abuot 5 minutes. When he returned, despite my request was not ment to be taken literally, Ralph, and 11 year old boy, had arranged a trip out on the boat for me. Because he had done this and of course thrilled the Haitian boat owner with an opportunity to make some money, I could not back away. Out on the boat we went. Though it wasn't that quick.

It is not a quick process to launch the boat, nor prepare the boat to be launched. First, the outboard had to be hand carried a half mile away by two men, they had to find some fuel, and they had to mount the outboard, jury-rigged style. To launch the boat, it took over ten men, five on each side, two in the back to puch the boat over some plywood planks into the water, starting and stopping 5 times before the boat was launched. The boat was about 28-30 feet long, appromimetly 5 feet long wood canoe style. THogh the paint was very old and chipped, it was painted brightly with colors of yellow, orange, green, red and blue. I have many photos of this trip. As soon as I learn how to transfer them from my computer to the internet cafe's computer, I will be able to share them with you.

The ride across the bay out to the mountain villiage that we visited was beautiful. The colors of the water ranged from dark crystal clear blue to hues of baby blue and cloudy green (fresh river water). It took about 40 minutes to get where we were going, as a 35 yamaha does not propell a 30 some foot boat through the water very quickly.

The first sight I saw as we arrived at the small fishing villiage was of six young, very black, sand speckled, naked Haitian children learning against an upside turned boat awaiting our greetings. This is what you see on the discovery channel, not in real life! My heart was a pile of liquid wax...melted. This was how I felt the entire four and a half hours of this journey.

After greeting the small children and they ran back into the ocean to play, Ralph, Mackendy and another very young local boy guided me around this small villiage. The, "roads" between the houses, the small chuch, the tiny school and the 'market,' were literally rocky paths ascending and descending up and down the mountain, through rivers and waterfalls and of course always making way for the cows, chickens, pigs, donkeys and manure. The paths up and down the mountain are very steep and very narrow. The view from the top of the mountain was what you see on the cover of a travel brochure for a Caribbean destination. Palm trees, blue ocean, tropical birds, and the view of the island of Haiti in the distance. Hopefull soon I will be able to download these photos as well!

A man from Haiti who has lived in Maimi for over 20 years accompanied us on this adventure. Ironically he is a commercial fisherman who is back in Haiti to pre-plan and prepare for expanding his business here in Haiti to create more jobs for the fisherman. This man, (who's name I forgot) is approx. 60 years old has 9 children and is quite accomplished. He grew up in this small fishing villiage that we were visiting. This made the random adventure extra special as I recieved first hand information from a man who grew up there as well as spoke pretty good english. This man was visiting the villiage to tell the men that he would be purchasing 10 more boats, (he currently only has two that he hires men to fish for him - in order to provide work for the Haitians) and was there to assess the needs of equipment etc. Eventually he plans to package, freeze and ship out the fish to appropriate places.

With that explained, it was very intresting to hear stories of what fishing was like for him as a child, compared to now. Comparatively speaking, fishing is very difficult now, as there are few fish in the close waters, you have to go out very far to find them anymore. This is the primary source of food for these people, other then the coconuts. I got to watch the fisherman unload their catch of fish on the beach from their nets. Everything is done by hand, and all men must work together to accomplish anything.

This man from Miami owns two houses here in Haiti, one he rents out over on the mountain, one he owns in Jacmel where he spends half the year. We went near his house during hike across the mountain, he introduced to us some of his very close friends. One family was absolutely beyond fun and generous. This husband and wife have nine children, five girls and four boys. Oh my goodness, beautiful! This family lives in a very basic wood hut, with the kitchen area under a straw covered frame where the fire pit is located. When I arrived they welcome me warmly. After talking for a few minutes (mostly through sign language!) I was offered some coffee. Not wanting to pass up the opportunity to engage in cultural experiences I simply prayed a quick prayer of protection from Ameboas and agreed. A cultural experience I recieved!

This was not your typical, 'flip the switch,' coffe pot. No, this process took over an hour. Unfortunatly I have not enough time to explain in detail the many steps it took to prepare this sugary coffee flavored syrup, called, Kafe' (coffee) but the simple mention of it being an hour long ought to provide enough for you to use your imagination. During this time I help to fry some freshly caught fish, hold a beautiful naked black baby boy, teach the children how to use the digital camera my friend Victor so generously offered to loan me (the LOVED that because they could view themselves and the photo after the picture was taken, they'd never seen this before!) as well as observe the amazingly talented 9 year old boy make his fathers lobster traps from straw. Indeed this was an adventure I would not have taded for anything, even though the entire time my belly was talking to me, letting me know revenge was still taking place!

On the walk back up the mountain to our boat, it was one reason afte ranother that we had to stop and do something, one Haitian had to give his HAitian friend another drink of Rum, one Haitian man had to help his friend put some straw on his broken roof, another man had to climb a coconut tree and throw down 12 cocunuts, cut them in such a way that we could first drink the juice and then crack them open to eat the meat, and lastely, the driver of our boat decided that he was too drunk to drive the boat home and had to find another driver!! Yes, adventures, I wouldn't have it any other way!

My time is up. I will write again as soon as I can. Especially because I have some very pressing things on my heart to share with you, but as I said, my time is up.
Please pray that the neccessary changes that need to be made at the Trinity Home can have some obvious solutions.

OK - I love you all!

Rebekah

Montezumas Revenge finally visited me last night. It was a very long 24 hours...I 'slept' from 6:30 PM - 5:00 AM. I was tired enough to sleep, and in enough belly pain with body aches and chills, but how do you resist such sweet voices outside your door and windows begging you to come out and play? Boundaries...yes, I finally had to set them. By 10 PM I told the boys, "no more play, I must sleep!!" Fortunatly, I woke up at 5 AM still feeling yucky, but I gave myself a cold bucket shower, attended 6 AM morning prayer with the boys and then went back to bed. I was greeted again at 7:15 AM by Melchiek, the director, with a big ol' plate of breakfast...oily spaghetti with chunks of hot dogs...hmmm, just when I thought I was beginning to feel better! The sight of that meal was not the key to my healing, though I did choose to get up and was once again surrounded with 36 arms. The boys individually all came up to me and gave me my second round of morning hugs. (the first round comes after morning prayer.) Healing of all forms comes through love.

At the Trinity House there are 18 boys. These boys have been assigned to live here in Jacmel rather then at St. Josephs home in Petionville as they are more prone to getting in trouble with the law, gangs etc. Jacmel, compared to Petionville, is a quiet quaint little town and has less opportunity for the boys to return to their gang life, should they choose to do so.

The boys are here because they choose to be. They have lived on the streets for a long time, been involved in gang activity, have been in jail etc. Just two days ago Trinity House welcomed in a 9 year old boy who had been in jail for gang activity. A locan missionary woman caught wind that he would have to stay in jail or go back to the streets. He wanted to stay in jail because at least then he would get some food. After a lot pf phone calls etc. this woman was able to convince the police to allow Chelove the opportunity to live at Trinity House. 9 Years old! So young, so cute, so deprived of love, until now.

For the boys who are given the opportunity to live for free at one of the homes, they choose to abide by some basic rules in exchange for a family life complete with 17 other brothers, a home to live in, food to eat and an education, which they could not afford otherwise. The boys have daily chores they complete immedialty after morning prayer (they get a weekly allowance for this,) eat breakfast and then head out to school. They return from school and are free to do what they want until 6 PM prayer time. After that they have study time for school, and again , are free to do what they want until 10 PM bedtime. In between these activities they also on various days have different classes such as art class - drawing, painting, crafts etc., Paper Mache' classes on Saturday, which I got to attend. WOW that was interesting, a lot of work! of course, their dance classes which is three times a week, however some of the boys love dance and playing the drums so much that they go outside the home the other four days a week to instruct and participate in other dance practices. I have been to four of these practices, these Haitians are incredible dancers!

Just this morning construction began again in the bakery. This is exciting as I believe that it wont be too long before we can get the bakery up and running. It is my hope that we can have things ready to go by the end of summer.

It has been a very challenging time, not in a bad way, but by the way of self-growth and development. I would get absolutely no where if I did not take initiative with every move I make. Living in a home with 18, 'gangster-like' boys, between the ages of 6 and 20, as the only woman, puts me in a very committed position. I have to be firm with the boys at times, when they try to attempt to pull some tricks on me, (mostley the youngest ones...) but for the most part, God has worked through my actions, character and behaviors enough to gain the respect of the boys. This has allowed me to already be more of a mom-like figuare. What an honor. They are all veery protective of me. Most frequently I hear, "Atonsio!! Atonisio!!" in english, "Be careful!! Be careful!!" Even at the most obvious form of risk or danger. Its really quite cute! To be loved by an 18 year old ex-gang leader from Haiti, who has changed his life around through the last 3 years that he has lived at Trinity House and not only professes his belief in Jesus, but lives it out and encourages his younger brothers to do so as well. Mackendy is actually with me right now, he walked me down to this cyber cafe so that I could do my email. The boys have learned that I will pay for whoever walks me to the internet cafe to do their email while I am, in exchange for the guidance to get to the cafe. I never have a lack of opportunity to be guided now! Internet access is much better here in Jacmel, however, it is about a 45 minute walk to get to one that is reliable.

Today I will be taught how to prepare Haitian style food. Melchiek will be assisting me in preparing enough rice and beans and chicken sauce for 20 people. It is his desire that soon I do all the shopping at the Market for him, as well as help in the kitchen.

Could you imagine a 26 year old boy choosing to take on full responsibilty for, 'raising' 18 other boys ages 6-21? Melchiek and Gilmiest (another graduated resident of St. Josephs, are director and assistant director of the home. Together they take care of every need of these boys. They do one day on, one day off between each other for all of the cooking and buying of the food. They have full responsibilty for every aspect of the home. Again, these boys are 25 and 26 years old!! It is really incredible to see the committment and love that these boys have for one another. They have so much to teach.

I will also be helping a local school teacher who brings in kids from the nearby neighborhood to provide free education. The neighborhood I live in, consists mostly of very poor people who live in nothing but tin shacks. Very poor. Most of these kids cannot afford to go to school. Trinity House has an outreach program that provides these kids a chance to learn free of charge. Iw ill be helping the teacher with these kids. I am excited, they are so cute! They look like your typical National Geographic photo of 20 some kids from Africa poseing for the camera. They are all very small in stature, malnourished. Food is provided as part of the outreach to the local kids who attend the school.

Speaking of school, the public school systems are all shut down right now as the elections take place tomorrow. There are alot of precautionary measures taking place right now.

I will quickly post this as I am afraid my time is soon up. I dont want to loose all of this typing! I am glad I have a chance to update you and fill you in on some of the random adventures I am having. I am learning so much.

"You CRAZY! Yes, you CRAZY!! You walk too fast!"

Last night I was officially termed, "crazy" by the director of th Trinity household, whom I am currently assisting in Jacmel. Melchiek, 26 years old, took me out to see the town last night.

Melchiek went on to explain, "in Haiti, if you walk fast, people think you crazy...you know, have mental problems..."

I was not walking any faster then my usual pace, but obviously, that is the American pace I was refering to. Here in Haiti, it's just plain and simple - slow. After placing an order in a restraunt, you can expect to wait up to two and half hours before recieving you food. I learned that you place your order, then go out for a long stroll, obeserve the Haitian life and then retrun hungry and thirsty to fully appreciate your meal.

Walking through the streets of Haiti is like hiking a very rocky, dusty, unkept path up and down a mountain trail. There is hardly such a thing as a sidewalk, if there is remains of one, it is covered with trash, donkey dung and a combination of variouis elements to make up a concoction of mud of some sorts. Using your imagination, you can consider how over years of throwing all of your garbage in your back yard, burning it ever so often, and then piling more on top of the remains of burnt plastic, rubber, tin cans, etc. what the scene would look like as well as the various scents. Yes, that is what the streets of some of Haiti are like.

However, it is not all like that! Jacmel is absolutely beautiful! I love it here.
Jacmel is a small villiage town directly on the ocean. In fact, ironically, my dream came true finally...that the kitchen I would one day have would have a view of the wide open ocean. I have this here! The home I am working in now is perched up high on a hill over looking the ocean. There is a very nice beach that I can walk down to where the boys often like to swim. The beaches have very beautiful shells and the sand is very fine. Even though the streets may be dirty, the smells quite ripe, in the cities, people here in Haiti seem to really value gardening. THre are bougenvalias everywhere, and often you'll notice small potted plants along the outskirts of many tin shacks. Haiti is a very beautiful country and I am quite impressed.

I realized I did not explain that I have moved houses. I was last week up at the Wings of Hope home for physically and emotionally disabled children. I was recently offered a position as a temporary mentor at the Trinity House for boys in Jacmel. There is a pastor from Arizona who is on a 4 month sabbatical, is working here at the home mentoring these 18 boys and the director, as well as learning how to slow down himself. He had to return home unexpectantly for a few weeks. I delightfully accepted this offer and the very day once again, packed everything up and made the transition down the mountain into Pationville where I stayed overnight at St. Josephs home, before catching the early 6 AM flight to Jacmel. I traveled over to Jacmel with Michael, the founder/director of all the homes, as well as a few of the visiting board members known as the, 'grandparents.' They stayed here overnight and left the next afternoon.

The flight was beautiful, I was able to view the island of Haiti from above, as we flew in a small plane that flew quite low. Granted it was a straight through flight from Port Au Prince to Jacmel, and flight time was only 11 minutes, my bag containing eerything I have with me except my money and passport managed to be missing. Long story short, I mentally prepared myself over the 14 hours before my bag randomly arrived, to be content with having literally only the clothes on my back for the reast of my stay. WE were told the bag would arrive on a 4;30 PM flight, four flights later, it fially arrived. A little nerve-wracking, but nevertheless...I have it now and its all good.

I had a really great time with Michael and the two other grandparents who came to visit Jacmel while they were here. Because Michael had a lot of work to do in a short day and a half, we hired a tap-tap to drive us all around for that day and a half. I got to see and experience so much of Jacmel and the surrounding areas due to these many errands. I also met a lot of key people randomly, in Jacmel, such as they mayor, the President of Chamber of Commerance, a famous Haitian designer/artist as well as an amazing woman named Paula.

Long story short, The Trinity House here in Jacmel is in the process of building a bakery, as well as roasting and selling their own coffee. The constructuion has already begun, and will resume' this week. The bakery will be an opportunity for the boys to learn a trade prior to their graduation when they turn 21. The proceeds from the coffee and bakery will be to help support the home itself.

Paula is the woman who grows and roasts the coffee. She is an amazing full blooded Haitian woman who speaks beautiful english. She lived in the states for awhile, but now resides permanently here. Micheal, the godparents, Melchiek and I went up into the mountains to visit her villiage as well as sample the coffee and chocoloate that she roasts. Knowing well the quality of coffees...I am not kidding ya, this is good coffee! The chocolate is darned great too!

I played for two hours running through the forests, wading in the rivers and exploring the countryside with Paulas two daughters ages 13 and 6. Needless to say, I am in love! I love the viliage, Paula, her mom and the girls, the beauty of the forests, the coffee...the culture. Granted that I have to learn to slow down...I love that its all about cultivating relationships here in Haiti.

I have been offered a unique opportunity to assist in the development of the bakery/coffee house/coffee harvesting and roasting. Hmmmm...coffee, breads, the ocean, loving 17 young boys and amazing adventures...? Not too difficult of a question...

Paula has invited me to live with her and her family anytime I am ready to participate directly with the harvesting and roasting of the coffee/chocolates. Trinity house will have their own label that goes on the coffee bags and chocolates. This will be an incredible opportunity to live a traditional Haitian life with an incredible purpose in the meantime. My time is up at the internet cafe. I must go now. I will write more as soon as I can. I love you all so much!

Haitians are beautiful, sincere and very spiritual beings. I have enjoyed very much the chance to observe this culture in action... I used to claim that Southeast Asia was my favorite area/culture of the world. However, the reality is that each culture/country is so beautifully unique in its own way. Haiti, I am finding is a country of expression. Through music, dance the arts, these people express themselves deeply.

Access to the computer has been very limited, due both to internet accessability, as well as time. I want so much to share these experiences, observations and feelings with you, I only wish that the words I type could do justice. What I am living out down here, I can touch the tip of and give you a vague idea. But in all reality, coming here to experience this uniquely beautiful country/culture/people is the only way the reality of the all encompassing beauty of the Haitian people and lifestyle could be embraced.

Since being here in Haiti, I've not stopped. There have been unending opportunities and events which have filled every moment of each day I have been here. In short, to make the point quick and clear - I LOVE HAITI!
I have been here one week today. The St. Josephs Home for Boys, where I've been staying/volunteering, just completed a four day intense and exciting celebration of their 25th year anniversary! I arrived one day before the festivities and have been able to praticipate in it all. This was a tremendous timeto meet the board of directors as well as the 'Godparents,' of the boys at the St. Josephs home.

The celebrations over the last 4 days were complete with everything from a fancy poolside party, a formal dinner that the boys of the home prepared and catered to us(dressed in their white iron shirts, black trousers and shoes and even a bow tie too!), an incredible trip up into the mountains to visit a small villiage and learn some phenomenal Haitian history, performances by the Resurrection Dance Theater and Accapella Choir (these two groups are made up of the boys in the home,) a trip to visit the Wings of Hope Orphanage for a day, and last night, the grand finally dance with a real-live Rah Rah band. These are only a few of the many opportunities I recieved to experience an intensive introduction to traditional Haitian culture. It was an eventful week!

The board of directors and God parents flew from the USA and Canada to be here for this annual celebration. The 28 boys who live at the St. Josephs home for Boys, are all actively involved in either the choir of the dance by choice. I was given the opportunty to dance during the dance practice with the team, what an absolute privilage it was to have such personal instruction and what a work out!!

All in all I met and got well acquainted with 19 people who form the foundation of these homes - the board of directors and godparents. This was instrumental for me to gain insight into the quality of the people who make up the foundation of these homes, their vision and sincerity. After having spent nearly a week with all of these very special people, I can now go in peace and continue the work/learning I came down here to do with a confidence that I am a apart of powerfully positive life-changing group of compassionate, dedicated people.

St. Josephs Home for Boys - Petionville, Haiti






Michael and the boys in the beautiful chapel at St. Joseph's.





St. Joseph's Home for Boys was Michael's dream that became a reality in 1985, bringing boys off the streets of Port-au-Prince to provide them with a Christian home and family. Since that time it has grown from four boys in a very small home to more than 20 boys in a wonderful home with guest facilities and a chapel. Visitors become a part of the extended family as they sleep and eat and pray and enjoy presentations by the Resurrection Dance Theater with Michael and the boys at St. Joseph's.




Wings of Hope - Fermathe, Haiti









The family of Wings of Hope gathers in the courtyard





Wings of Hope is the home for severely physically and emotionally disabled children located up high in the mouintains of Haiti. There are 38 boys and girls between the ages of 3 to 28 currently living in the home. 80 percent of them are in wheel chairs due to cerebral palsey or other types of illnesses/diseases. Many of them do not speak. Some have severe Autism amd ADD is common in many of the residents.

When French missionaries announced they were leaving Haiti and needed to find care for the physically and emotionally disabled children under their supervision, Michael took some of the older boys from St. Joseph's to choose a child to bring home and care for. But the boys surprised Michael when they chose to adopt all the children, reminding him that he had taught them that with God, all things are possible. Wings of Hope is now a thriving home for disabled children, recently rebuilt and expanded to include guest facilities, and is run by a graduate of St. Joseph's. Wings of Hope also now includes a wonderful crafts boutique, also run by a graduate of St. Joseph's and a dance troupe, directed by a graduate as well.

I leave Petionville today and head up to Wings of Hope where I will assist in Physical Therapy and do Massage Therapy with the children. It is my hope to help alieviate some of the discomforts these children live in, both on a physical level, as well as a spiritual level. Despite that I do not yet know the Creole language, I believe that God can reveal His love to these children through the power of positive touch, on a level that mere words could not, even if I spoke their Creole language.

I went up to Wings of Hope just for the day on Thursday. We went as a group, the board members and the Godparents. After a tour of the seven story home, we each were assigned a child to take out for the afternoon. Below are photos of a couple of the children I met that day, and whom I will be working with.



Fourna is a 9-year-old girl brought to Wings of Hope in 2000 by her parents because they could not care for her. She has spastic cerebral palsy, and cannot walk. Fourna is very alert and is able to say a few words. She can learn to speak more clearly if she is given the time and resources to develop that skill. She thrives on attention and one-on-one contact. She benefits from daily physical therapy sessions, and needs to wear splints on her hands daily for at least a few hours in order to help the prevent the development of contractures.


Mamoune is a 19-year-old young woman who came to Wings of Hope in 2000. Mamoune has spastic cerebral palsy and uses a wheelchair. She sometimes averts her eyes or looks at people out of the corners of her eyes, but when you catch her eye and talk to her, Mamoune’s smile can light up a room. She is doing well in her daily physical therapy sessions and can feed herself. The staff and older boys at Wings of Hope are working with Mamoune to increase her speaking skills.


B. J. is 4-years-old. He was brought to the Wings family by the Haitian Department of Social Service in December of 2002. His name, B.J., stands for Baby Jesus. B.J. was diagnosed with cerebral palsy, and suffered from malnutrition before he came to Wings of Hope. Today the physical therapist works with B.J. every day. B.J. has significant hearing loss, but does seem to be able to hear the drums that are played during dance practice.

I have so much more to share, unfortunatly my time is up and my bus for Fermathe is soon to be leaving. I will continue to write as I can!

It's been a little bit scary to begin writing on this blog,
as when I write, I write from my heart.
You know...that place way down deep, from my spirit.
I attempt to not let fears get in the way,
I write whatever springs out from witihn.
It's more challenging to write freely on this level
when I know that so many will be reading my
thoughts, feelings, perceptions, opinions and ideas.
Thats when I am reminded,
this journey is not my own,
it's not all about me.

If in anyway, the fears I have and write about openly can allow another person who reads of them, inner peace, as they learn that they are not alone...then I am willing to be real. If through revealing frustrations and anxieties in sharing my thoughts, someone can identify and relate, providing a sigh of relief to their soul, then I will not hide behind a mask. If my challenges, or my incredible moments of great joy can be a source of inspiration and hope to another spirit walking this journey called life, then by all means, I will share them.

I wil be updating this blog as often as I can. It is my aim to share with you the many incredible moments I embrace as I prepare for, fly to, and begin assisting the amazingly precious children of the counrty of Haiti. The photo above is of the children who live at one of three orphanages I will be assisting in. Wings of Hope is an orphanage for severely emotionally and physically disbaled children. While I am there, I will be assisting the physical therapist by doing massage therapy on the children, as well as assiting in teaching at the in-house school the residents of Wings of Hope attend. I will be leaving Anchorage Alaska on January 19th, just a week from today to begin this journey to Haiti.

The family of Wings of Hope gathers in the courtyard

She Gave It All She Had

His Lord said to him,
"Well done, good and faithful servant;
you were faithful over a few things,
I will make you ruler over many things.
Enter into the joy of your lord."
(Matthew 25:2)

God gave to me a gift of life
to cherish, not to waste...
I’ve made the choice to live it well,
(not squander it in haste.)

The years go by so quickly now,
I long to make a mark...
to leave behind a legacy,
from this journey I embark.

I pray that all I do today
will have eternal worth...
and shine the light of Christ in me,
while traveling on this earth.

When all at once I’m called away,
to my final resting pad...
I pray they’ll say,
“She did her best, she gave it all she had.”